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My boyfriend is addicted to percocet
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My boyfriend is addicted to percocet

My boyfriend which i love too much is addicted to percocet. He strted taking them about 2-3 yrs ago because of a shoulder injury and then once that was fixed all of a sudden he started getting back pains and is now on them again.hes taking anywhre from 4-10 perc 10's a day. I dont know how mch to believe anymore because i feel like its mostly excuses to get prescribed the percs. He does have legitimate back pain however he goes through the percs so quickly that he has to buy them off the streeets until he can get his next prescription. I am at my breaking point. We have no sex life whatsoever which is killing me the most. Everytime i try and talk to him about the pillls he get so defensive and says he doesnt have a problem and he has no choice but to take them. I know he has a problem. I just dont know what to do anymore. Do I leave him to make hi realize how serious this is? will it even make a difference? my hardest obstacle to cross here is the fact that he has an excuse to take them and im supposed to just accept it. I cry almost everyday over this and can not take it any more. I have been through this before with my mother who was an addict for  10 years and im not willing to let yet another person put me through that again but i lovee him too much to let go aand i want to help him. how do i make him see that these pills are ruining his life and our relationship? Please someone help me before I give up completely....

Lisa
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536882_tn?1225516459
I am sorry for your situation.  I too was introduced to percs through a shoulder injury and surgery lead me to abuse, and addiction.  While at a certain point we do have VALID reasons for taking the meds (pain), once we begin taking them to escape life, get high, or any reason besides pain......we are addicted.....and we make that choice.

The lack of sex drive is related to the opiates.  You need to realize this is NOT your fault, you didn't cause it, and most importantly, YOU CAN"T CURE IT!  The only way he can successfully stop, is if he wants it for himself.  By you leaving, it may make him realize he has a problem and seek the help he needs.  I suggest Alanon meetings for you.  They are great and will be a huge support foryou during this time.
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Avatar_f_tn
I feel for your situation hon,but I'm afraid nothing that you say or do is going to make him admit he has a problem and do something about it until he is ready.The decision to stay with him or leave,I believe, is a personal one.I understand that you love him,but don't let that love make you lose sight of the love that you need to have for yourself.You can continue to let him know how you feel about what he's doing and let him know how much pain and concern it is causing you,but until he's ready theres not much more you can do.All the best...Kim
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768994_tn?1244146151
I have tried communicating with him and trying to understand him and be there for him but like i said it always comes back to the back pain and that theres nothing he can do about it and then trns into major fights. he says he doesnt want to live like this but i just dont know what to believe anymore. I certainly dont want to leave him but now his problem is becoming a huge problem of mine and the sex issue is definately driving me crazy! i am a healthy attractive 24 yr old woman who has a very high sex drive and im lucky if we sleep together once a month. I am starrting to feel like maybe he is using the drugs as an excuse and just isnt attracted to me anymore or something. you know how your mind starts to go crazy. it was hard enough with my mother and now she is finally better and now him...i know he loves me and doesnt want it to be this way but obviously he loves the drugs more.what are alanon meetings? where can i find one and why do you think it may help me? thanks for listening and for the helpful information. if you have any other suggestions please let me know because i am lost. thanks again...
Lisa
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764364_tn?1234718411
the longer you stay, the longer you get sucked in, Leave and call him within 15min. Tell you love him and want to be with him but he must go to the hospital and get help. Dont let in own him. Even if he gets 2-3 days clean dont let that pull you back. assure him if he quits you want to be with him if he doesnt , it will hurt but you cant watch him kill himself and that is what he is doing. Sorry for sounding like a jerk. Ive been involved with Drugs and Alc for 30years. Ive got three years clean because ,My girlfriend did just what I said to you.

TOUGH LOVE ***** DONT IT
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Avatar_f_tn
Dont let yourself think that he just isnt attracted to you. The pills will kill the sex drive. I am also going thru the roller coaster ride from he11 with my husband. I see that he has a problem and when I try to talk to him he denies it. My husband lies about how many pills he takes so I dont know if he has a problem and knows it just doesnt want to admit it to himself or if he knows he has the problem and just doesnt want to stop. Being the spectator while our significant other goes down the road of addiction is hard enough but DO NOT let his addiction torpedo your self esteem.

Check out this link tho about the sex drive.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/726427
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536882_tn?1225516459
Addicts will use any and every excuse they can find to continue using.  Back pain or not, that's not an excuse for the way these pills have taken over his life.  If he is as bad as you say he is, he knows he uses more than he needs.  for an addict no amount of pain medication will get rid of the pain, because while we use the pain as an exuse to use, we take as much drug as possible to get high.  So, deep down, he really craves the high.....not the pain relief.  Eventually, using consumes every though of every day.  We begin to lose interest in the things that used to make us happy.  We push away those who love us most (because they know us well, and it is hard to hide the truth from them). When it begins to affect other areas of our lives such as family, loved ones, work, social life, and sex then it isn't just our problem anymore.  He is denial about how big his problem is, and denial is an addicts best friend. His use is going to continue to get worse.  Eventually the percs won't be enough to satisfy his craving and he will move to something stronger because his tolerance will continue to increase.  The fact that his perscription runs out early tells us he is using more than he should so his tolerance has already increased.  You need to consider if you are willing to continue living like this.  It is only going to get worse.  It isn't your fault, and it has nothing to do with how attracted to you he is.  His drug will always come first until he is willing to admit he has a problem.  It's not that he doesn't care about you, and not that he doesn't want you, but the percs will kill his sex drive--and that isn't fair to you.  How long are you willing to let THAT continue?
Alanon is for people who have a friend or relative, or loved one who has an addiction problem or alcohol problem.  They have meetings, just like AA.  They get together and talk about their issues and those who have been through it before will offer suggestions on how THEY handled the problem.  It was originally designed for those who's life was affected by someone else's drinking.  But, it applies to any chemical.  I would say YOUR life has been affected by someone else's using!  To locate a meeting, or find out more info, check your white pages or try this site:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

I think you will benefit greatly by going!
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768994_tn?1244146151
I read the posts about the sex drive and that definately made me feel better. As for his tolerance getting higher, it already has. He started with vicodin and then upped the miligrams then went to percs and upped the miligrams then the doctor prescribed him oxys....thank god they made him sick so hes sticking witht the perc 10's. not that its good but definately better than oxy's...right?? The worst part of all of this...is that now im starting to dabble with them...i know the pot calling the kettle black but i only take them when im with him i guess to escape the reality...but like i said i have been dabbling and i am NOT EVER GOING DOWN THAT ROAD! Therefore 3 days ago i took 2 and they are the last 2. Im not letting this happen to me too. Whats funny though is that when i take them my sex drive isnt affected at all....? i dont understand. Does anyone know of any other ways of going about relieving the pain without the pills?? i hav heard of pain management but dont know much about it. I do know that my mother had to go on suboxone and that is also a pain reliever, or is that bad too?
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642313_tn?1244075322
The fact that he resorts to getting additional pills off the streets tends to suggest that he has stepped beyond any reasonable concept of pain management and into the realm of plain old drug abuse.  Assuming he is seeing a decent physician for the treatment of pain related to his back or shoulder, you should compel him to come clean with the doctor.  Apparently you boyfriend believes that the prescription he gets is insufficient to treat his "pain".  He should discuss this with his doctor and seek appropriate treatment.  Look I don't know him, but I suspect he is now addicted to the meds and will use any excuse to convince you and himself that he needs the pills for legitimate "pain management".  Funny thing is not taking opiates can cause pain that gets worse as you go through withdrawals. So, you reach for another pill for the brief relief and happiness it can bring for 3-5 hours, and then another and another.   But if quits and he gives it time and does it right, he get kick this habit.  If you love him, if your respect yourself, you will do what it takes to get him to seek proper treatment.  He's an addict.  Plain and simple.  It is your choice whether or not wish to accept this reality or go on pretending with him.  

Best of luck to you.
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Avatar_n_tn
Honey, it breaks my heart to read what you write. I'm so so sorry and I know your pain, i really do.  I was in a somewhat similar position but also VERY DIFFERENT.  my boyfriend is also addicted to painkillers.  I didn't know that he was on them for at all two years, and as he increased his dosage little by little he became less and less intersted in sex with me. Same as you i'm young and pretty, i even model, but still I thought the same thing as you, he's not attracted to me anymore. I even thought there must be someone else and went through bouts of crazy suspiciousness, jealousy, etc..became depressed.  It was very hard for me to understand why he wouldn't want the woman he loves.  but it had NOTHING to do with me. He really wasn't fully interested in anything but the pills.  Pills kill sex drive. You're beautiful, you obviously care for him very much. Do not get discouraged, theres NOTHING wrong with you.  :)  

My boyfriend knew he had a problem, and when i found out about it he decided to quit. We've been tapering his dose instead of going cold turkey, and its amazing he's already more interested in intimacy!  its the most wonderful thing to have that back!  But it takes getting through quitting the drug, reducing dosage, etc...

Please, I urge you, whatever happens do NOT let yourself get into these drugs. Alot of people, including my boyfriend, got addicted because of "Dabbling."  Nobody ever says "Yeah, i'd like to become a drug addict."  They ALL say "I'm just gonna try it a few times, just for fun" and before they know it they are hooked. PLEASE stop while you still can.  You don't want to be the one in 6 months or a year who is defensive, in denial, has no sex drive, and has become a shell of your former self.   You still have the chance to not become what my boyrfiend and your boyfriend has become -- an addict.  

Not only are you endangering yourself but you're communicating to your partner that its ok to take drugs that are bad for you.  You can't help him out of murky waters if you're swimming in them yourself.

I agree wtih the advice that your decision to stay with him or leave is a personal one.  I can tell you that for me, if my boyfriend wouldn't get help for this problem I know I couldn't support him or stay with him.   Even when I didn't know about the pills I knew something was wrong and I, like you, cried every day out of worry and stress.  I hated the person i became, depressed, hopeless, and endlessly hurt.  And I thought I was crazy because i couldn't even put my finger on what was wrong.  But once I found out, i can't imagine my boyfriend saying to me "I know this hurts you but I'm giogn to keep doing it" and me say "ok."  I couldn't stay in a relationship where someone chose to live a lifestyle that destroyed their happiness and mine.

My boyfriend, though, like i said, admitted he was an addict.  He had tried to quit cold turkey several times but failed becuase he got SO sick and knew he couldn't go through with it without me finding out. He assumed I would leave him, so he just kept taking the pills.  Once I found out, he was relieved becuase he felt like he finally could quit, with my support.  We started reducing his dosage that day.

I can't say this for sure, but i bet your boyfriend knows deep down, in the pit of his stomach, that he is addicted. He's getting pills off of the street, he must know he's addicted but not want to admit it for fear of withdrawal, or just feeling like a failure.  Poor guy, my heart goes out to both of you.    

Maybe you could talk to your boyfriend about this in a serious manner, in a time when you're not already emotional, in an extremely rational way.  If you refuse to be with an addict who doesn't want help, you have to  let him know that.  If you're willing to help him as long as he wants to get help, then let him know that too.  He may want the drugs more than he wants you, and should try to prepare yourself emotionally for that and decide before hand what you would do in that scenario. If you can convince him, you should both go into the doctor (or maybe a new doctor who specializes in addiction or pain management) and let the Dr know of his addictive behaviours and that you think he could be an addict.  HOpefully you can put a plan togteher tha tyou can feel comfortable with.  

Many doctors will prescribe a drug called  tramadol for people who have addictive potential but have severe pain -- don't take it.  They all say its not addictive but its addictive too, was classified as a narcotic in Sweden last year and I know many many many people who say withdrawing from it is worse than any other drug they have taken, so don't fall for that trap. Find a doctor who will realize that your boyrfiend has two sicknesses,  the pain and the addiction , and that both need to be treated.

I hope your boyfriend loves himself enough to get help.  I wish you the best of luck. I know these can me extremely tough times, please treat yourself well.  My thoughts are with you.
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768994_tn?1244146151
I want to start by thanking everyone for your support and comfort through this tough time in my life. Its so hard because on top of everything I feel so alone. I wont tell anyone because Im ashamed. His mother has the same feelings as I however I dont feel like I can talk to her because then I feel like im betraying him, i know...., crazy. But now that I have really gotten into this with everyone I might as well give the entire story...why not i have alot of time...lol ok so i may repeat myself somewhat and i do apologize but im not going back to read everything i wrote im just going to write.

I have been with him for 2 years and the entire 2 years there has always been something. It started off with vicodin and i thought he was just a dabbler however now i question my thoughts. My mother told me back then, he's addicted you know and i said HE IS NOTTT!  I would never be with an addict after going through years of torture with my mother. So I continued on thinking he was fine. The sex wasnt affected at all eveything was fine. He hurt his shoulder had surgery took the vicodin but everything was still ok....so i thought.So that stayed the same until approx 6 months ago. He started getting excrutiating back pains and went to the dr and they came to the conclusion that he has a blown out L5 and i think L4 so now they prescribe him more. Whats funny is that the more they prescribe him, the more pain hes in. anyway now he was taking so many that he was getting sick. So hes throwing up and always has an upset stomache and then he came across percocets, they didnt hurt his stomache so much so he asks the dr for them and of course he gives them to him. So now this is the thing, His friends also take them (so now its like the cool thing to do) he shares his prescription with his best friend and then when he runs out they buy them off the street so this is why i dont really know how many hes taking or what the story really is. (sorry if im babbling im just writing my thoughts exactly) So thats the exact scenario.

Now, when i speak to him about it and ask why he would continue doing something thats ruining our relationship he tells me "you think i want thngs to be this way....you think i want to live like this, what else am i supposed to do im in pain" and he is very sincere, we have cried together etc.... when i get really frustrated, i call him a junkie and some othe really cruel things, i know its not helping but at the moment it feels like it will. i guess i think maybe if i keep telling him he'll start thinking, well maybe i am addicted. Yesterday he told me "i can stop any time i need to im not addicted" So i said fine try not taking them for 2 days and we will see how you feel. I know he's going to feel like sh*t. but he insists not. we'll see if he ever accepts my challenge, but i doubt it. So thats the story, i figured you might as well know it all. Thanks for listening, i feel as though this is my journal except it writes back to me :)
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Avatar_n_tn
its so hard to watch your loved one suffer. I know that pain.  Like you i've  been with my boyrfiend 2 years and a few months.  

There are so many people on here who post how the pain pills EVENTUALLY make the pain worse.  Once you're addicted the htought of more pain from withdrawal is miserable. The truth is I dont even care if my relationship survives, right now the only think i care about is that the man i love is safe and healthy, and that he doesn't destroy his body with poison, or upgrade to medications that give him a better high.

You need to speak with a doctor. Go by yourself if you have to. Tell the doctor what you tell us about your boyfriend.  Ask for the doctors advice, ask what he or she would do to keep your boyfriend's pain managed without addictive drugs. Talk to your boyfriend about seeing the new doctor with a new plan.  I hope he will work in the right direction with you. He deserves freedom from addiction, and you deserve to be free from his addiction too, one way or another.  

The hardest part may be that in order to quit he'll need to make new friends...my boyfriends friends don't do pills and I doubt he would ever quit if they did.  

I wish you the absolute best of luck.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I think my boyfriend is addicted to pecocets  he had back surgery 2 yrs ago and our sex life has change. does this addiction make u lazy and want to sleep alot and some times he is very mentally abbusive.Is this because of his addiction .
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi lisa marie! I feel for both of you! I want to say to you a lot but it would only be repeating what you have already bn told. Yes, i can relate to him about the pain and feeling a need for the pain pills! In all honesty, its out of your hands! Like people say: "you can lead the horse to the water but you cannot force it to drink if its not thirsty"! In your boyfriend's case, he has to feel that thirst, that desire to make the change for the better! I have seen relatives, close friends hooked on heroine. And you know who always wins? The heroine. Hence the name "heroine". Same as in miths, movies, cartoons, the HERO or HEROINE always win! But, don't give up! Maybe he has to fall flat on his face, hit rock bottom b4 he sees for HIMSELF what trouble he has let himself in! Its not your fault, its his! I relate to everything you are saying and I'm sure my ex can relate also. It took for me to lose her and everything else we both had. Read about my experience with this on my thread!  You will see how similar my problem is to his! Except that I never hid nor lied to her about how much i was taking. I still ended losing her! I still get a months' supply of meds(percocet #10 & 30mg morphine tabs slow 12hr release). I always had plenty left at the end of the month! So I'm not abusing them. Yet, as much as i try to tolerate the low bk pain(yes, L4-L5), coping with as little pain med in my system, I'm now am or have bn sufferring from memory loss and other complications from side effects! We tried to concieve (conceive) another child to no avail! Now, the only one which sustains me and makes me become clean is my precious nine yr old! I can't live with the memories of my precious little human being always wanting daddy(yes, this too, she's daddys' little girl) to play with. To do this and do that for her and with her! I'm just so so glad I'm getting a second chance on that with her! Her mommy, my ex, is all for it! Just the other day, on Presidents Day, i taught her how to ride her bike without the training wheels! She now brags about it to everyone about her ability to ride her "two wheeler"! She comes to me and hugs me and tells me: "thank you daddy for showing me how to ride my bike"! Then ends with: "i love you daddy, so much"! Then gives me a kiss on my cheek! I'm sure you and your boyfriend deserve a second chance! Have you considered opening up to someone very close to him in his family and planning maybe an intervension? I do not see that as betrayal if you do that. That's if you truly love him i would think that would be ok! Lastly but not least, i ended accidentally overdosing once on percocet. This happened right after my last bk surgery on Oct. 29, 2010. That was my WORST RUDE AWAKENING EVER! When i came back, thanks to the great people who "brought me back", it so painful and so so so cold!!! Words cannot even describe that feeling of being brought back to!  Felt so helpless and hopeless and alone!!!  I don't want to go through that ever again! I rather go through these bad withrawal symtoms (symptoms) and get clean. So i can be a better daddy to my princess!!!!!!! I wish both of you the best! Hope he comes to his true senses and get the help he needs based on what you say. It sounds like he's way too far gone in the addiction! But there is  always hope and second chances if he truly loves himself, loves you, and loves his blood relatives! Have faith in God if you believe in God!! Remember thiw: we as humans are- body, spirit, and soul! And these three have always synchronize with each other. When these don't, thats when we go "nuts, wacko"! Keep posting and venting! Its all good! It helps our spirit and encourages our desire to be survivors no matter how bad things may seem now! Don't give up!
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768994_tn?1244146151
Thank you so much for sharing. Unfortunately it's a little too late. About 4-5 months ago we broke up. He chose his love for the drug over his love for me. We went to a wedding one night and he was so messed up it ruined the evening and I lost it. We fought the whole night and the next morning he left for work I couldn't control myself and broke down to his mother. She asked what was wrong and I told her everything. She already knew but didn't know as much as me. Anyway his sister walked in on our convo and told him everything.... He then broke up with me. He said he couldn't believe how I betrayed him etc.. We fought a lot and it came to an end. About 2 weeks ago his mother emailed me and said he's been clean almost two months and she can't thank me enough because it's all because of me. If I didn't stick to the breakup and tell him everything he didn't want to hear he would have never gotten clean. He has been trying to get back with me for a few months and I told him I cNt it's not the life I want and I won't consider a life with him unless drugs are out of the picture. He always has excuses and at this point he has taken everything out of me, I was just exhausted, mentally drained and couldn't take it another second. When he broke up with me I swear it was like 1000 pounds was lifted off my shoulders. Anyways, I'm not sure if he is clean or not but supposedly he is and he looks great is back to himself and is on the right track. If this is true I am very happy for him. I wish nothing more then for him to be the man I met. Me, I need more time to know it's real. 2 months is nothing compared to 2 years of hell he put me through, crying myself to sleep, feeling lost, confused, sad, embarrassed and many more negative emotions. The sad part is is that after all of this, he STILL won't admit he ever had a problem. I don't get it! I still love him and I wish I didn't because it's so frustrating. I just want to live a normal life but every time I meet someone I can't help but think of him. For some reason I can't fully move on. One day I'm so happy to not be with him dealing with his issues and finally bein able to focus on myself then the next day I'd give anything to be in his arms. I'm one confused girl... Well I wish you the beat of luck and I'm sure you will do well. You seem to have much reason to change your ways and seem to be excited to do so. As for pocagirl message me, I would love to help. Best of luck to all going through this for it is not easy... Hugs and kisses
Lisa
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Avatar_n_tn
Lisa, i know how hard this is, i do, i was in the same situation with my girl friend, me being the addict, and i know how it affected her. Crying, begging me to stop, i would be mean for no reason and when confronted i would be defensive to a crazy point. Leaving him is NOT the answer. That will only make him more depressed and do more. He needs you now even if he does get mad, if he does get defensive, if you love him, then help him, hes addicted and this is a serious problem, not always easy on your own.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm curious as too know what happened, because I have been going through the same thing....we were so in love before, so happy, but he decided too choose that life over me. It broke my heart beyond belief.....I'm still in shock and have a lot of anger and sadness build up inside me. I haven't cried this much in years....I wanted too stay by him through this, but he just pushed me away and it killed me...same thing ofcourse happened with sex and that was quite annoying...any way, only God can help me with what I'm going through, as for him....I wish I didn't care, he doesn't deserve an ounce of my care...I'm so hurt...I can't believe he would throw everything we had away...I'm so broken
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh I see what happened, didn't read far enough, but it's so so so crazy how exactly the same your situation is too mine....i did finally tell him off and said....when u dO come too your sense, which him and i both know he will, please dOnt call anymore, because I mentally can't take it anymore...he only ever wanta me when it's convenient for him , but if he feeling good he just ignores me and acts so cold heart...all I know is that he is not the man I once loved....he's so so different now...I'm afraid he will die soon...and when I said that too him, he says he thinks he will die soon...he now tAkes way too much ...maybe 300mgs a day, maybe more, who knows?...it's all so scary...but all I want is too forget all the memories...I'm so mad he let it get this far...he even had a kid with someone else while we were broken up the first time, that's even before the drugs...I even forgave him for that on top of a million other things...but he blames me for everything ...he says I ruined everything...I don't understand...I don't want too believe this is possible, but the guy I knew is gone...and he has been for a while...the funny thing is everyone tells me I'm way too good for him, I have my life together, he can't even keep a job, he lies, he's just so possessed or something...anyway, I think I'll shut up now...I'm 26, the guys are all after me...I'm hot, but after all this I feel like the most unwanted insecure dumbest fool ever....I'm just trying too move on, but I just care...if he dies, I'll blame myself...but how do I move on, I just don't know...I don't think I can care for anyone else knowing he's still out there slowly dying... I'm so sad...but who isn't right
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I became addicted to percocets as well and I know the turmoil it can bring upon in a relationship.An addict will justify,rationalize there reasons to use more and more.I had to admit i was powerless over my addiction and surrender my will by simply asking for help once those pills defeated me by destrying my life.I found myself in desperate situations when i would run out and its like they say in narcotics annonymous meetings I attend 1 is to many and a thousand never enough.Sweety you have no power to change your boyfreinds self centered thinking.He must be willing to ask for help once admitting his problem with those pills.I realized once the pain outweighed the pain I could not function with or without drugs however once i admitted I had a problem the soloution was right in front of me and I had to make a desicon if I wanted to continue using to I die or seek help in sober support meetings.Go to www.intherooms.com you can search for meeting in your area and suggest to your boyfriend to give hiself a break and make a meting with you if he goes tell him more will be revealed a day at a time.NO MATTER WHAT JUST DO NOT USE DRUGS NOTHING IN LIFE IS BAD ENOUGH WE AS PEOPLE CAN NOT HANDLE IF WE HAVE FAITH IN A GOD AND A POWER THAT CAN RESTORE US TO SANITY
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Avatar_f_tn
In my case he didnt abuse in the beginning of our relationship and now does. He stays perked out all night and acts like hes doing something important and accomplishing nothing. He fights going to sleep, sits up on the couch and holds a lit cigarette in his hand with his eyes closed. He already caught the bed on fire. I want my sweetie back and i am last on the list, He denies any problem. I dont want to walk away, but i am getting
nowhere except crying and getting my feelings hurt, and i want my sex life back!!!!!

Paula
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God, I feel this pain all too well. This has very recently become a part of my life, and the range of emotions I have felt is unbelievable. It all started when my boyfriend started exhibiting some pretty shady behavior. I had actually thought he might be cheating on me because he always kept his cell phone extremely guarded. He took it with him to the bathroom, to shower, and on the bed right next to him when he would sleep. If I would ask to use it, he would make up some reason why I couldn't. It was always very weird things that would spark my suspicion that he was hiding something. He would leave the apartment all the time, be gone for many hours, and never have anything to show for it. And, he would spend a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom, which, in itself I guess wouldn't raise red flags, but when ppl spend that much time in a bathroom, there is usually some type of, um, odor left behind. Well, either his sh*t didn't stink, or he was doing something else. And then I noticed the backpack that would often go with him to the bathroom. He lives with me, so he has no reason to be living out of a bag. That was actually the last straw. He left the apartment for a few minutes and I decided to find out what was in that bag. Even though I suspected I would find something, I still can't describe the shock I felt when I found a bad full of needles, a spoon with a burn mark on the bottom, and a telltale ring of some substance that had been boiled in it. It was horrifying. My boyfriend had been shooting up drugs, in MY bathroom, and hid it from me. When I confronted him, he tried for a few minutes to deny it, and then broke down in tears and admitted everything. At that moment I told him it had to stop, or he had to leave. He said right then and there that he had wanted to quit for awhile, but couldn't go thru the withdrawals without me finding out. He had tried a few times, and looking back, I know exactly when they were, but he got so sick, he couldn't stop. I could write a novel about how I feel about all this and how so many questions about his behavior had been answered in an instant, but I guess the important thing is we have officially begun the road to recovery. He is currently detoxing, day one, and the plan is to have him live in a residential recovery center for 30 days. The one thing positive has been the amount of love in this relationship. He loves me so much that he doesn't want to be doing this anymore and is willingly taking the steps to stop, and I love him so much that I am going to see this through to the end with him. What I don't know is how to handle the fear that he won't be able to do this and get clean. Its so early on that I just don't know if this will work or not
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I have been addicted before. I am very familiar with addiction personaly and also very familiar with addicts and their behavior. What I suggest is waiting until the morning or some time he is not high. Corner him and tell him that his actions are killing you, you cry about and need desperately for things to change. Let him know you will be there every step if he decides to get help. But if things do not change you can't allow yourself to stay and endure that pain. Make sure that if you must leave him you stay in touch with him once a day or so to see if he wants to make a change, explain you still love him but the drugs are breaking uour heart. In some cases the addict will take this as an attack and tell you off saying he doesn't need you, after a period if time they may call saying how much of a mistake they made. If the pain is a real factor to him (doesn't sound it) tell him that he has to use only the prescribed amount. In time maybe you can help him to drop it completely. Also as a side note when he comes around and says he is quitting be a little skeptical. Addicts commonly say they have  quit as a knee-jerk reaction to the question. If your questioning his sobriety at any point look into his eyes, if his pupils are pinned (slang for tiny) then he is currently on opiates.  I had a relationship and was regularly abusing, I loved sex. Did it every time I was high because I could last forever (often not finishing). If you just wanna get laid take him by surprise because guys like that.
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I have been addicted before. I am very familiar with addiction personaly and also very familiar with addicts and their behavior. What I suggest is waiting until the morning or some time he is not high. Corner him and tell him that his actions are killing you, you cry about and need desperately for things to change. Let him know you will be there every step if he decides to get help. But if things do not change you can't allow yourself to stay and endure that pain. Make sure that if you must leave him you stay in touch with him once a day or so to see if he wants to make a change, explain you still love him but the drugs are breaking uour heart. In some cases the addict will take this as an attack and tell you off saying he doesn't need you, after a period if time they may call saying how much of a mistake they made. If the pain is a real factor to him (doesn't sound it) tell him that he has to use only the prescribed amount. In time maybe you can help him to drop it completely. Also as a side note when he comes around and says he is quitting be a little skeptical. Addicts commonly say they have  quit as a knee-jerk reaction to the question. If your questioning his sobriety at any point look into his eyes, if his pupils are pinned (slang for tiny) then he is currently on opiates.  I had a relationship and was regularly abusing, I loved sex. Did it every time I was high because I could last forever (often not finishing). If you just wanna get laid take him by surprise because guys like that.
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I have been addicted before. I am very familiar with addiction personaly and also very familiar with addicts and their behavior. What I suggest is waiting until the morning or some time he is not high. Corner him and tell him that his actions are killing you, you cry about and need desperately for things to change. Let him know you will be there every step if he decides to get help. But if things do not change you can't allow yourself to stay and endure that pain. Make sure that if you must leave him you stay in touch with him once a day or so to see if he wants to make a change, explain you still love him but the drugs are breaking uour heart. In some cases the addict will take this as an attack and tell you off saying he doesn't need you, after a period if time they may call saying how much of a mistake they made. If the pain is a real factor to him (doesn't sound it) tell him that he has to use only the prescribed amount. In time maybe you can help him to drop it completely. Also as a side note when he comes around and says he is quitting be a little skeptical. Addicts commonly say they have  quit as a knee-jerk reaction to the question. If your questioning his sobriety at any point look into his eyes, if his pupils are pinned (slang for tiny) then he is currently on opiates.  I had a relationship and was regularly abusing, I loved sex. Did it every time I was high because I could last forever (often not finishing). If you just wanna get laid take him by surprise because guys like that.
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I know this post was a couple years ago, but am going through a similar situation now. My boyfriend of 3 years has been addicted to Percocet for a year and a half. Admitted to being addicted, stopped for 3 months which made me realize all the changes in her personality were indeed because of the addiction. I now believe that he has relapse and is lying again. My mom well as well addicted to narcotics and has been sober for 2 years. I'm tired of the lies, mood swings and let downs but the sober person I fell in love with is hard to walk away from. What should I do?
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If you'd like to talk please feel free to inbox me. Through the years since I had started this post I've experienced so much more! I do still speak to him and he would do anything to get back together. He's just too up and down. He stops and starts again and still lies. Still to this day won't admit he has ever had a problem! It's the craziest thing. But after him I dated someone even worse if you can imagine... I went through hell and back and found every drug imaginable in my home. Unfortunately the society we live in today it's very hard to find someone that's NOT on any sort of drugs. I had experienced the worst of the worst when I fell in love with an amazing man in recovery. Got engaged and made plans for a beautiful future. He was 5 years clean, never thought I had anything to worry about. Long story short, he relapsed and died in my arms. I've been through way too much for my age. I am now an intern at a drug rehab and feel good helping people. So please, if there's anything you'd like to talk about I'm here. Big hugs to everyone on here fighting this battle everyday.
Lisamarie802
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And thank you to everyone that has taken the time out to help. All my love
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Hi LM. Have you considered starting a new thread and telling us some of your story?? You will probably get alot more encouragement and support since this is an older thread. Are u ok now?
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Hi, and thanks for posting. I didn't think to start a new thread considering I really haven't been on this site in a while. I just checked my email and saw a notification that yasmeen had posted something on here and wanted to reply. The past year has been so difficult losing my fiancée that I've isolated and became very depressed and started using drugs as well just trying to numb the pain. However, I am glad to say I am doing better and taking action to get my life back. Everyday is a struggle and I miss him terribly, but I know I can not go on like that. I made a decision about a month ago to start living again. First and foremost I stopped using which was so difficult but my motivation was a phone call about an internship for drug counseling. I knew it was what I wanted to do and the only way to do it was to get clean myself first and from there it became about me. I'm taking baby steps but I am improving my quality of life a little bit each day. So I guess I'm not necessarily "OK"... But I'm getting there. Thank you for asking! So much has gone on that I wouldn't even know where to begin starting a new thread! But I do know writing helps so much and getting feedback from people that understand helps with not feeling so alone so starting a new thread and sharing some of my story sounds like a great idea... Thank you
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Why don't you write a book about it. Research pathways to recovery and study the consequences of addiction. He is thinking short term.

Take care of yourself, you can only do so much for him. Has he started hitting you yet? As a user chronically, he's completely cut of from his emotions he could begin to do it.

I was with a man who suffered from that issue. He began beating me up while he was sleeping. I would literally wake up to him hitting me,

I left. You can too. I couldn't help him.
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Why don't you write a book about it. Research pathways to recovery and study the consequences of addiction. He is thinking short term.

Take care of yourself, you can only do so much for him. Has he started hitting you yet? As a user chronically, he's completely cut of from his emotions he could begin to do it.

I was with a man who suffered from that issue. He began beating me up while he was sleeping. I would literally wake up to him hitting me,

I left. You can too. I couldn't help him.
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We're always here for your support.
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