My boyfriend is 21 and im 17, we have been together for 2 years. he has a hip disease so is unable to work and the past year its been causing him alot of pain, so he started taking painkillers. he takes 20-30 tables a day and is high all day, he has cold sweats when he takes to many and often overdoses. about a month ago i told him i couldnt take it anymore and broke up with him, changed my number and blocked him on facebook. about a week after we broke up he took 60 tramodol tables and his sister found him having a seizure on her bed. he was took to hospital and was bleeding when he wee'd. they discharged him, god knows why because hes overdoses about 5 times this year. i love him and it killed me when he did this, i took him back and now he says im the only bit of happiness in his life (his dad died last year and his mum is also a drug addict) i want to leave ive made my mind up on that already because ive given him chance to get help but he doesnt. i know if i leave him he will overdose again and he probably wont be as lucky this time. please help me i dont know how to tell him or what to do.
Hi there and welcome. Well, I'm happy about the fact that at your tender age of 17, you realize how destructive and unreasonable this situation is. that your inner voice is telling you that you need to get out.
The issue with addiction is that we can't 'make' someone get clean or convince them that they want to and they can't do it until it is THEIR decision. We are not responsible for the lives of anyone else even if we love them. You do not have to stay with your boyfriend because you fear he'll overdose if you don't. That is unreasonable to put that on you. Your leaving would be another reason he should get clean. Because he loses relationships over his addiction. So leaving is actually helpful to him in the big picture.
This man will probably suffer a lifetime of addiction. I say that because he has a chronic condition it sounds with his hip issues, he's started a very serious and heavy addiction at a young age, etc. You do NOT want to consider someone with this low potential for a successful life as a good mate. I am very supportive of addicts getting clean but i also am self protective and if it were my daughter I was talking to--- I'd talk about setting yourself up in life for the best chance of happiness. This means to start a relationship off with the basics of someone being physically and emotionally healthy.
I would make a call to his mother/father telling them your concern of his addiction and the extent to which he is using (do they support him?)--- and turn the issue over to them. And then you should go on to do what 17 y ear old girls should be doing. Working hard in school and preparing for college, job training, trade school etc. so that you can become financially independent when the time comes, hanging out with friends, working on your hobbies, making POSITIVE teen memories.
Set yourself free and make sure you hold the bar very high for any man you bring into your life. good luck
Wow, that's a lot to deal with. I was addicted too pain meds,, do easy to do when you have pain issues. I feel you need too do what's best for you and no matter what if you stay or leave it sounds like with his history he us heading down that road any way. He needs needs help.. I am suppressed they didn't pt him in kick down..they do that here where I live. I never OD buy I know others who heave and if a person has OD more than once they assume they are trying too kill them selves. I hope you can be strong and leave. This is his battle. You can offer help but if he don't want too quit then he won't. :( I speed pills because of situations life these and I have 4 amazing children that need me. I deal with my pain naturally and with prescribed ibuprofen now. You have a whole life ahead of you. Sorry your going though this (((hugs))))
I sympathize with your situation.
1. Do not enable him, no matter how hard it gets to say no, Just keep saying it. Addicts will do ANYTHING to get there "fix". They make up excuses, they just need to borrow $, for rent, food, the dog's sick ect. They get creative.
2. Do find someone genuine and safe to talk to, someone who can support you.
3. Do practice self care and don't stop looking after yourself just because your addict has.
4. DO NOT believe your thoughts or your addicts accusations that you caused or aggravate the problem.
5. Do engage in other activities and conversations that are not focused on the addict.
6. Do protect yourself, your finances and your possessions and remove yourself if you believe you are unsafe.
7. DO NOT believe it is your job to fix your addict. Only they can do that.
8. Do know that recovery is possible. YOUR recovery is possible. Focus on that first and foremost. And if the addict joins you too, even better.
9. Do trust your gut instincts. And know your eyes will tell you more than your ears.
10. Do Not do this on your own.
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