Ok so I live at my aunts house and my mom lives here as well. She has been addicted to meth for years, but went to prison and got clean. Anyways. I think she is using again.
I have never touched meth, so idk if I'm picking up on things that aren't really there or what? But we sleep in the basement and I was trying to take a nap (she thought I was sleeping but I was awake). She went in the room next to me which is a kitchenette, and I can't see that room from where my bed is, but for about 15 minutes she was in there and I first heard her messing around with a plastic bag. Then open a couple pop bottles and pour them down the drain.. then she coughed a couple times and spit up. Then she was messing with the trash can, almost like she was hiding something in the trash. Then she tied up the trash and took it outside (which she never does). Also she was very b!tchy earlier and now she is fine.. And shortly before she went upstairs, I smelt a faint chemical smell but only for a couple minutes, it was kind of like batteries?? Hard to explain... I thought about going in there but was afraid, as I didn't know what to expect/how she would react.. idk if I'm overanalyzing? I have been trying to get a look at her pupils but can't really keep eye contact with her.. help??
I never did meth but my brother did. It does sound suspicious and like odd behavior. From what I say it was hard to tell he was on it unless I observed him staying up for days. He loves his sleep and can't go a day without it now. Looking at the pupils as you know is a great indicator. Also it is hard to hide the withdraws. They are pretty severe. I wouldn't confront her until you are sure because she will likely deny it anyway and it will create animosity. Also once she finds out you are onto her she will hide it better.
I have been onto her for a few months, and she knows it. She did admit back in September that she did it once, and my heart sank because I just knew. There have been a couple occasions where I thought she was high on it, but she denied it. But now I am almost positive, as 1) she just skipped out on dinner which she never does unless she's high and 2) nobody knows where she is now, and she usually doesn't leave the house very often as she doesn't drive, and if she does she usually says something. Even my family is getting suspicious and they dont know much about drugs.. before she left she was zooming all over the house, she fixed dinner with no problem (which she usually ******* about) and cleaned up the basement, and did the laundry, all in the past hour or so.. I want to say something to my aunt, but I'm scared. :( I am pregnant and should not be around this ****, and I can't move for a couple weeks yet.. Right after I went upstairs, I threw up and got a terrible headache that won't go away.. also my aunt runs an AFC home here, so if anyone found out she could lose her job of 27 years AND home over this... I have covered for my mom in the past in different situations, and I am tired of it... Should I say something??
I think it would be a good idea. I can't tell you what to say because I don't know what it feels like to be high on meth. She may not even be "present" enough to have a conversation and really be into it emotionally. You can stand your ground and express your concern for her, yourself, and your baby. I hope she can recover again but last time it took prison and I hope this time she will go to treatment before it happens to be prison again that gets her clean. Like I said I don't know her and I don't know how receptive she is going to be to the confrontation but if you don't say anything, or nobody says anything she will likely never quit again. The addiction gets worse every time you relapse.
Sorry, I guess I meant should I say something to my aunt as it is her house that meth is being smoked in. But I waited last night for her to come to bed (we share a room in the basement) and she didn't come down until 15 minutes before everyone in the house gets up for the day to serve breakfast, and when my uncle got up to wake her up, she acted like she was sleeping. It's noon now and she still hasn't been to bed. Without mentioning anything, my aunt brought it up to me this morning that my mom was acting weird last night. She said that she was supposed to get her unemployment check last night (which the last one which was for christmas she claimed didn't come so none of us kids or anyone else got a gift from her and this was also a time that I thought she was high), and today my aunt asked her if she got her check and she just looked down and nodded. My aunt was like, "well aren't you happy?" And she barely nodded again and left it at that. At this point, I knew I had to say something to my aunt. How she is going to handle it, I'm not sure yet. But I'm afraid that if my aunt gets mad during an argument with her that she will slip up and say something that I told her. And I have always covered for my mom in the past, although I have never seen her smoke meth, especially in the house, and I have just decided that I'm not going to be put in that position anymore. Especially because I'm pregnant now and have to worry about the safety of my child and my aunt has breast cancer stage 4 and copd and should not be in such a toxic environment either. Not to mention she could lose her job/house over this. Stealing from your family for drugs is bad enough.. but doing them in the house is totally crossing the line and I felt I had to say something at that point. Do you think I handled this the wrong way? :( I mean I didn't really know what else to do...
I don't really think you handled it the wrong way. I think that the way you handled it was pretty much the best way you could. Neither way of using it is good but smoking it in the house cannot be tolerated with you being pregnant and what about when the baby does come and she may get sloppy some day and the baby pay for it or your aunt as you mentioned.
I have been in a situation where I had to cover for and take care of certain people in my family. It was aggravating because the parent should be the one who takes care of you and when it is the other way around it. I have learned a lot in my 33 years that they will never learn. I have been through He!! that they will never understand either. It is disappointing to know that I have overcome all of this and they cannot overcome things that I see as miniscule. The reason I feel that way is because of the mental illnesses I have to battle everyday along with the addiction. However a lot of them have become clean by now and I am really happy for them. I just wish that they didn't need me anymore. Every time I go away if even for a month the fall apart. They feel free to get into this reckless behavior. When I went to basic training for the military, which was 3 months long, one of my younger siblings quit school. Her and one of the other ones started drinking and smoking cigarettes. When I went to Afghanistan my mom went to jail. When she finally got out she went for a month without having anything much to eat. Her cupboards we bare and her fridge barely had anything in it. She could barely pay her bills. I had to move in with her anyway because I had just went through a divorce and my wife kept the duplex and the van. However I feel now that I can't leave because I am pretty sure she can't make it on her own.....
rosey by covering up her use that is enabling her. keeping the secret is not good for anyone. she needs to be exposed. your mother is putting everyone life at risk by smoking. a fire could happen.
your mom needs serious help and if your aunt gives her an ultimatum it could save her life.
if she stayed up all night and is sheepish about her check you know the answer to if she is smoking or not.
please let the chips fall where they may. you shouldn't have to worry about any of this. I am sorry. you are a brave and courageous girl.
I am praying for you and sending strength and peace,'
I'm a bit confused. Not too long ago, you were asking about staging an intervention for your Mom, who you said was spiralling out of control with her meth use, now you're not sure if she's using or not? Did I miss something?
Is your BF still smoking meth?
I'm (still) VERY concerned for you, being pregnant, and being around several meth abusers. God forbid you would test + for it (or baby) from you being in that environment. Not to mention, beside being exposed to a dangerous drug while pregnant, there's obviously many dangerous aspects to the drug world.
I KNOW you want to help your Mom ,and God love you for that...but with each post, you're still in these unhealthy environments, WITH child. I'm so very worried for you. PLEASE find a safe place to stay...you and the baby are priority #1 hon!
Thank you all for your comments. If you have not read my previous comment, I did tell my aunt today what I saw. I wasn't really trying to be an enabler, I just was afraid of how she would react if I caught her as I don't know if she would lash out or what. I know I shouldnt have to worry about this. I'm 18 and pregnant, and this should be the time in my life where my mother is most supportive. But I don't even know who she is anymore. I thought she was doing so well once she got clean. Then she started hanging with the wrong crowd again, which always has bad news written all over it. And here we are again, back to square one. I know I can't help her if she doesn't want help, she won't even admit she has a problem. But something needs to be done about her living here at the very least because she is putting us all at risk now. In the meantime I am working on getting my new apartment, I already paid the security deposit and hopefully will be in by the 1st. Thanks again for all the support.
In the meantime I am working on getting my new apartment, I already paid the security deposit and hopefully will be in by the 1st. Thanks again for all the support. .
Good for you! Thart's the most important thing. I worry about your BF too, sounds like he has little regard for you or your baby, from what you have posted. I'm sorry your loved ones aren't stepping up for you. Thank goodness you have a good head on your shoulders, at least YOU know to do the right thing!
@Nursegirl, I have been aware that she is using drugs. But she has never (to my knowledge) brought it into the house. I am nearly positive that she was smoking it in the house last night, (the chemical smell, weird behavior afterwards, etc.) Using drugs is bad enough, but bringing it into our family's house is unacceptable. Like I said, I am moving in 2 weeks.
I have been seeing my boyfriend and have not seen him high on drugs since that last post. He is also getting out of that environment soon, as when we stayed together AWAY from his apartment/roommates, he NEVER did anything like that.
I am hoping for the best and have already paid deposit on my new apartment. Just waiting for my move in date which is the 1st.
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