Addiction: Living with an Addict Community
Please! I am DESPERATE for help now. Read my story please!
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Please! I am DESPERATE for help now. Read my story please!

i am strongly convinced that my cousin is addicted/abusing something. i'm not sure what though. his behavior is just very strange.

he lives with his father. he's 29 years old. he doens't work. i think his father is in denial. he has a distnictive, odd smell to him. eyes dilated. he just acts weird.

i think he seriously needs help.

as his cousin, should i try and tell his dad to wake up, and realize that his son needs help? should i tell his dad to stop ignoring things? help me pls. i don't know what to do.
10 Comments Post a Comment
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470217_tn?1360568961
Hmm. That's a tough one. I'd be worried too. I'd probably clue in his dad, if I truly believed he had no idea. But it would depend on circumstances. Anyone violent?
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Avatar_m_tn
i'm very worried. his father is clueless, and is also being fooled by my cousin.

my cousin thinks he is very smart, but he's not.

he has stole money from us before (from the money jar in MY parents house), and one time, he was caught red handed, but wasn't confronted. his dad does not know about this. as a family, we decided not to tell his dad, because at the time, his dad just had a heart attack.

my cousin hardly ever sleeps. he wakes up at odd hours. he dissapears to god knows where at night. and then turns up again. he smoke a lot of pot. but i highly highly suspect he's doing hard drugs as well.

what is that smell on his body? at first, i thought it was alcohol, but i think its something else.i can't figure it out, but he smells really strange sometimes.
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Avatar_m_tn
what does this sound like:

1) talks A LOT! rambling speech. goes on and on about thing. doesn't stop talking

2) doesn't seem to sleep much, or at all! And when he does sleep, its for a long time, and very deep sleep

3) has a very distinctive, strange smell to him. difficult to describe. at first i thought it was alcohol, but i think it might be something else.

4) BS's a lot! says he's at one place, but is somewhere else instead.

5) has stolen money before (and on more than 1 occasion). (stolen from family members)

6) sniffs a lot (i haven't seen this, but another family member noticed this)

that's all i can think of for now. i know its not much, but u have to trust me, i am 99.999% sure, that he's on something.

7) also, he hangs out with very sketchy people.
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470217_tn?1360568961
Is his body relaxed, or does he move kind of fast and jerky? How are his teeth?

It's really not possible to say what he's doing, lots of drugs produce similar behaviors to one another. But if I had to guess I'd GUESS meth, and I'd wonder if he might even be involved in cooking it--based on that strange smell and odd hours. I've had some experience dealing with people who went down that sad road. But please, take all that with a grain of salt, and Im not sure how much it matters. He sounds like he's in trouble and needs help. If his father wants to remain in denial there's not much you can do, though, about that
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Avatar_m_tn
ok. i am hoping that he's not doing meth. but i know that he dissapears randomly, and goes to a specific girls house (who i highly suspect is doing meth). as far as his movements, they are slow. but there are times he acts very paranoid. one time, he was convinced the neighbors were spying on him. or something.

i've never seen it myself, but i was also told that he sometimes has emotional outburts over small matters. as far as being clever - he likes to plan things in his head, and i believe he tricks people into knowing where he is, and what he does.  as far as the BS'ing goes, he keeps doing that.

his father is definitely in denial. is there anything i can say to his father, to get him out of his denial, so that he can somehow help his son? if things continue this way, i can seriously see my cousin spiral lower and lower.
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Avatar_m_tn
forgot to answer ur question about his teeth. they seem ok i think.

but its mainly that smell on his body. it is always so much stronger when he comes from somewhere we don't know. but when he's  been hanging out in his house for some time, he doesn't seem to have that smell on him.

he definitely is very secretive about where he goes, and what he does. its very scary. i know this, and i don't think i'll ever be able to forgive myself, if nothing is done here.

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1235186_tn?1339127464
Coke or crack cocaine. Paranoia, staying up for long periods of time then crashing. The lying and stealing is just part and parcel with drug use. Does your cousin work or go to school? How old is he?
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Avatar_m_tn
he doesn't work. doesn't go to school. and he's 29. not sure if i mentioned that he sniffs quite a lot. i haven't personally seen him do this, but other people say he does this quite often. if he does coke through the nose, would that make sense?

and as far as crack cocaine, does this get smoked i assume? and could this account for that smell?

as far as the unique smell on him, what could that possibly be? it is very difficult to describe the smell. it is very concentrated. i want to say it smells like alcohol, but more musty sort of.
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Avatar_m_tn
on second thoughts, musty is probably not the best word to describe the smell.

it smells closest to alcohol, but its definitely NOT alcohol. it is a much more distinctive smell, and he sometimes reeks of it.
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1235186_tn?1339127464
yes he would sniff a lot if he is snorting cocaine.
sounds like his dad is  enabling him and in denial. at 29 years old he should certainly be working and or going to school, should be productive.  
hun it doesn't really matter what kind of drug he is doing the fact is if he is using anything he needs help.
I would just voice your concerns to him, your uncle and your cousin out of love.
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