Everybody has a breaking point. The longer you fight, the more likely it will take you down. Leaving that situation is not cruel or abandoning anyone. You HAVE to save yourself if you have to or want to save someone else.
You can try to help them, but if they don't want the help, then you can't and you should probably leave. You can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. I say there isn't a specific limit on how much pot is too much. It's when it becomes top priority that I find it an issue. If they can't go a couple days without it, its a problem.
Have you ever been to NarcAnon, for support on how to abandon enabling a person? It's important that an addict have a loving intervention, where there are choices for them. Addicts cannot get clean themselves, and must have the support of others in a program. It's unlikely you can do that for them, and maybe that's where things are going wrong? If a person is desperate about smoking dope, and put's it above their family or work, then it's a problem.
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