My husband is hiding and using m. amphet salts (Adderall I believe) recreationally (I believe to help him at work) and with alcohol (I believe to extend/enhance his drinking experience). Should I be concerned? Any suggestions how to approach this?
Adderall is speed. I use to love getting that stuff from friends that had a script. Yes, he probably thinks it helps him at work because it gives you energy and helps you focus. No one but your husband can know for sure if he has a problem.
Hello and welcome. Yes you should be concerned. Anytime anyone takes a substance that isn't prescribed to them is a problem. How do you know he is taking them? How often does your husband drink? Did he ever have a substance abuse problem before?
Have you asked him about it?
Thank you for your responses. He has lightly mentioned an "energy pill" or something that gives him more of a boost- but not telling me what it exactly is.
How I found them:
The way I found them is I was cleaning the garage and moved his boots off the shelf to dust the shelf. Inside his boost were the pills. I was shocked but set the boost down in the middle of the garage after taking note of what kind of pill they were. He came out to check on the progress of the garage and noticed I had moved the boots and I could tell he had gotten nervous. When my back was turned (but I was still observing his movements) he took the boots in the house to find a new hiding place. I found them later on a high shelf in our breeze way closet.
How do I know he is taking them?:
I've done some research online about the effects of the drug- and they describe some of the strange behaviors I have experienced. So I guess the answer to your questions is that I am highly convinced he is taking these but have not seen it first hand.
How often does your husband drink?:
My husband only drinks on the weekends. But when he does it is very heavily. There is no in between/have a few beers. Its sloppy drunk every time. He has substance abuse problems wide spread in his family. I have mentioned to him just because he hasn't been hospitalized like the rest of his family, doesn't mean this is an ok level of drinking. I think he believes since he does not drink everyday that he does not have a problem.
My background/feelings toward drinking/substance use:
As background for where I stand, I like to drink a little with friends here and there- but people know me as "not a drinker". I don't like the way it makes me feel. Plus my husband and I have a 2 year old daughter, and I do not feel responsible drinking unless it is a trip away and she is well cared for for the weekend (for example). Still I don't like the vulnerability of being drunk. I have tried marijuana a little here and there (like maybe once a month if that), but again, I don't do it when I am responsible for my daughter.
Have you talked to him about it?:
I have expressed to him some consequences, for example when he tried to walk 5 miles home from the bar completely smashed, I mentioned he could have passed out and had his head run over by a semi. He will admit it is stupid, and doesn't know why it happens. He never says a token "It will never happen again" because I think he know it probably will.
He is a 2 time Iraq veteran and after he left the marines about 6 years ago, after he came home from his last deployment, it seems he is partying much harder. The summer after he returned he got a DUI. At that point I was young- knew it was unacceptable- but believed his excuses- that his friends were much more drunk and he had no choice.
I have not approached him about this subject yet, because I want to make sure I go about the right/ most effective way. I have also recently discovered he has been sports gambling with large amounts of money, and has withdrawn very very large amounts of money from our inheritance/investment funds with out mention to me. (We have separate bank accounts.)
I am 28 and my husband is 32. I am a stay at home mother/dance instructor/artist/online entrepreneur and my husband has a very stressful job that he does not like to talk about.
Anyways- that is A LOT of info. Take in what you need and if you have any suggestions, please let me know. I am meeting with a very close non-judgmental friend tonight to discuss the situation.
Your husband might have post tramadic order. People that witness any catastrophic event have memories litterly embedded in their memory and will do most anything not to have them pop up. 2 tours of duty in a horrible war zone, he must have terrible images that he represses. We all have a taste of this in things we have seen but are few and far inbetween. I have one while working in Guatemala just to give an example that i repress. In the downtown city i saw a poor skinny dog with a rope tied tight and dragging from his neck. He had malnutrion and was a walking skelton smelling the sidewalk for scraps of food. I told the cab to stop and when in a store to buy the dog some food and when i came out a bus ran over his leg and crushed it and he was bleeding profusly, had malnutrition and made me cry with absolute horror. Its be 15 years since then but i still have the image pop up and makes me want to die in the poor dogs place. My point is if witnessing a dogs suffering can you imagine what he as seen? maybe be talk to him about this and get some vet consuling. Images of horror will make one want to die as are impossible to get out of our minds.
God bless your hero husband.
Well your husband obviously has a problem. But if he doesn't see it that way there is not much you can do for him. Of course, suggest counciling. Do they offer veterans any services? If your going to stay with him you need to get support for yourself whether or not he wants to face his problem. Check out the local Alanon meetings. Just know addicts lie, they just do. So you can believe what he tells you about the pills. I'd go back to the boots and count the pills. Then count them again every few days to see how many he's taking. I know, for me because I'm an addict, I was taking way more than prescribed. Then I started crushing them and snorting them. Plus if he gets into that speedy feeling there are always worse drugs that he could progress to. It would be great for him to get a handle on it now but that's up to him not you.. Good luck and remember don't believe a word he says.
Yes it does appear that your husband could be experiencing some post traumatic stress. It isn't uncommon for those with this disorder to self medicate. Since his drinking did increase when he came home this would seem to indicate that he is trying to self medicate.
With addiction in his family this would also be cause for concern.
Addiction comes in many forms. If he is drinking,taking the adderal and gambling he is in active addiction. It will only get worse, addiction is progressive. If he is hiding his gambling and adderal intake he isn't being honet with himself or you.
When you approach him I hope he will admit that he needs help. Don't be suprised if he denys it and becomes argumentative. It is a commonl reaction.
Counseling would be a big help to him. He could probably also benefit from from meds from a psychiatrist.
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