It's taken me an awful lot to get the courage up to "speak" with anyone about this..but I just can go about this alone anymore. I need understanding ears to hear me out.
My wonderful husband is addicted to opiates. After four on again off again years struggling with his addiction, he started going to a methadone clinic five months ago. It was a truly life changing event. It was such a huge step- admitting he was out of control, admitting he was addicted, admitting he needed help. I'm so proud of him over this I could just burst!
At first, it was a huge weight off my shoulders. No more sneaking around, no more spending paychecks, no more lies! In so many ways, methadone has been such a huge blessing...however I'm learning its also a double edged sword.
My largest complaint is how methadone has completely robbed us of our sex life. Granted, percs sure didn't help the romance department, but at least we had a few "far and in between" encounters. On methadone, my husband has zero interest in sex. None at all. We've only had sex a handful of times in the last year, and only once since he started at the clinic.
I know this may seem like splitting hairs to some people. I'm so so grateful that he's off pills, and on the right path. It seems petty to be focused on something like this, but it's causing me so much sorrow. I miss the intimacy, i miss the connection, and I miss feeling like a sexual person ( its made worse by the fact that I have a high sex drive) It's hard for me to talk with my sweetheart about this, because i want to be supportive of his struggles, so I focus on remaining positive with him (no doubt this is no walk in the park for him either)
Two weeks ago he started the process of s.l.o.w.l.y coming down off his relatively low dose of 45ml. I'm excited (and nervous at the same time) about the prospect of him being off the liquid handcuffs. Trying not to think too much about it, but the possibility of having a normal sex life is so appealing to me. I'm focused on supporting him on the long, slow journey of jumping off methadone in the right way so we don't end up here again...so I realize I still have a long haul to go.
I would love to hear from someone who's been in my shoes. I would love to be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I would love to feel a little less alone during my own journey.
Hi and welcome does your husband not want to be a slave to these drugs anymore. If so if HE can get on this site and tell us what he is going threw. I was on methedone and others for over 12yrs..It is a whole other beast to come off of. Most of us go through somewhat the same w/d but the dones have longer-legs. When we are using the natural brain gets taken over by a drug brain. That is the way we live, love, eat on & on. From my experience when I came clean in Sept I got home and did not even know or believe this was my house, my husband, my dogs. I own this and my trucks ect...It seems like you come out of a big fog you were living in.I went c/t from 30mg plus adderall and clonazepam ,and it took awhile for me BUT since he is doing a taper he should bounch back OK. There is alot of info out there regarding the "Disase of Addiction" My husband found it very heldful for him to know I will need time to heal. Drugs after long use over time changes brain structure and function in fundamental and long lasting ways that can persist long after the individual stops using. A switch in the brain is flipped from normal to addict. NOW I do not know how much and how long he used but he can get on this site we can give our experience what we used before & after to get us into recovery....
Hang in there is alot of good people here and WE CARE.......
God Bless you
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