My daughter is planning to adopt a baby. I met the birth mother this week and dropped her at detox hospital yesterday . She told me she was taking subutex and smoke pot but when I picked her up she left the room several times and came back with a blue powder on her nose. She is sweet girl but totally messed up on drugs.
Any one know what the blue powder might be? She told me that the strip of paper I seen her use was subutex but didn't tell me about the blue powder.
Oh my. Very sad. Is there some kind of clause in the adoption contract about this kind of behavior? I mean, wouldn't she be breaking the contract, in essence, taking away any kind of benefits she is receiving?
Not sure what kind of adoption it is, but different adoptions are handled differently...sounds kind of like a private adoption, with someone your daughter knows or something? Is there monetary payment involved, or payments being made for her prenatal care? Was there a contract/agreement signed, if so, is there a clause about her responsibility to not engage in behaviors that she would know could harm the pregnancy or baby? Did your daughter know about the drug use from the very beginning?
If there is any kind of standard agreement in place, she has most likely violated it. Just ridiculous. Its one thing to have a problem, and I have compassion for women who find themselves in that position, but it sounds like this girl is just blatantly disregarding the baby's health, because she knows it's not going to be HER baby? Am I off base on that?
It is a private adoption. My daughter doesn't know the girl. My daughter is on an adoption list waiting... a friend of mine heard about this girl expecting and wanting to put the baby up for adoption. My friend did tell us that she wasn't the most up standing young lady but that he didn't think she did heavy drugs. My daughter ask me to meet with her because she lives out of state. After sitting down with her and the lawyer it was clear that she was on some kind of drugs. She says she smoke pot sometimes and that she was taking subutex and zanax as prescribe by her doctor. After talking with her I found out they are not prescribe and then I seen the blue powder under her nose. I quickly found a detox and rehab for her .. even if the adoption doesn't go through I just wanted to help this girl get on track.
We are still working on the contract with the adoption lawyers so I will take your advice on the wording. No money has been given to this woman from us.. she gets state help for her medical. By law we cannot and will not give her money unless its through a lawyer.
It is just so hard for my daughter to walk away from this baby... she lost her son to heart disease last year at only 3 months old and hasn't conceived again ... she has had several IVF transfers already. My daughter is willing to take her chances and pray for a healthy baby but as a grandmother and her mother I worry that she will spend months sitting at the baby's bedside in NICU and we will loose him. I had to watch this with my grandson... he never left NICU. It breaks my heart! I only wish I still had a uterus because I would carry her baby's myself! even at 51 years old!
Lortab 10 mgs are also blue....by Watson Labs
Saw a program on Nat Geo channel showing a guy hooked on them that crushed and snorted them.
My drug of choice (before getting clean) was Lortabs. The blue ones from Watson labs were diff potency than some of the generic ones the pharmacy later switched to. But.....on the street......blue 10mg Lortabs are the most common where I live. Those mostly come from internet buys. (FYI only....not meaning to upset anyone)
G-Ma.....sounds like you are doing all the right things. If the birth mom is getting supervised help now, and STAYS off the drugs, I'm believing your new grandbaby will be ok.
I have a sister that privately adopted both her girls. Her oldest daughter's birth mom had 3 children already had aborted 2, and wanted to adopt out her last child. She had a long drug history, pot and more. There WILL, of course, be risks if the birth mom has been ingesting opiates, pot and xanex.
The med profession has come a long ways since the days my sister adopted her girls. I'm prayin they can help here, specifically with tests on the baby. Knowing ahead of time about developmental or learning disabilities is not possible that I am aware of.??
My biggest concern when I read your posts.......this girl doesn't seem to care.....and what can be done to make sure she STAYS clean......
My husband couldn't "hide" pills good enough to prevent me, the addict,
from finding them if I was driven to find them. My heart hurts for you and your daughter......I pray all is well.
Blessings to you
You're a very nice person to help this young girl; she needs it!
There's no telling what kind of emotional or behavioral difficulties the child will have, if any. I'd hope that this girl has every prenatal test available, though. That Xanax is dangerous in the early stages of pregnancy especially. That would bother me...
Please stay in touch with us...and you can ramble as much as you want!
Thank you everyone! All your kind word help! I talk to the nurse today and she can't tell me much because of HIPPA.. but she could say she went to see her and she was doing okay and that she thought she could do it with my support. So, I will do my best and keep you all informed. Again thank you for your reply's it help to have someone to talk to about this! XO
the girl is snorting pills... that's the way it is. A dr. would NEVER prescribe suboxone and zanax at the same time.....Contradictions. that being said. the baby has a great chance once away from the birth mother.god bless you ...
Thank you clean in ks... nice to hear your sisters story! I think the only way to keep her clean is after detox she will go to rehab for 3-9 months and the baby is due in January so I pray she stays in the program! She really seems like such a nice girl. I know... that sounds crazy.. doing drug while expecting but I really think she wants to quit. She didn't fight me at all when I took her to the hospital. She actually thanked me over and over again... she was a mess and she knew she was going to be in a lot of pain. She told me I promise to do everything in my power to take care of your grandson and ask me to please pray for her.. and I haven't stopped praying!
You are quite a woman! You make me laugh and cry......
Yes, we addicts ARE nice people....LOL! Most of us never dreamed we would become addicted to a substance. I have many, many family members in recovery. There are other young women on this site that are PG and have not yet found their way to become clean yet......they don't have YOU in their lives for example!! You are a gift and such a blessing to this young birth mom. Becoming addicted is something you don't just DECIDE to do or become!
Whether you are a pregnant young woman , or a doctor, a nurse, hold a prestigious position in a business, are unemployed, work 70 hr wks, rich or poor, depressed or happy, live alone or have a huge family......addiction DOES NOT CARE. "kinda like it rains on the just and the unjust" ya know what I'm trying to share???
The sister I told you about is NOT an addict. I actually went to her home in Michigan to help her thru a shoulder surgery. I was then taking pain meds for a previously broken pelvis, tailbone and sacrum. I was still able to take them as prescribed at that time and was able to take very good care of my sister and her family during her surgery/healing time. Fast forward 2 or 3 yrs.......2 discs rupturing completely out of their body cavities, no insurance because of pre-existing conditions, laid in bed with the most extreme nerve pain ever and HUGE inflamed discs pressing on all the nerves on that side. I THEN really became addicted to pain meds. After surgery, it was even worse, because you build up a tolerance and the pills don't work anymore and by then, you are addicted.
I knew taking narcotics, that I "most probably" would become addicted, but what were my choices?? I didn't feel like I had any at that point in my life.
Today, I am 112 days clean......whoot, whoot!!!!
The sister I mentioned to you earlier that adopted two girls, she and I had a conversation just this last week.......it is very, very difficult for a NON-addict to truly understand an addict. I don't really think you can. I said to her.....remember when I came to MI to take care of you and your family......you got sick when you took pain meds.....you threw up......you turned green LOL!! Now, me, Clean in Ks, when I took a pain pill I had energy, felt like I could conquer the world, felt like I was standing on a beautiful mountain top looking at an amazing rainbow!!
What makes my sister diff than me????? Our body chemisty......mainly.
I am one of 6 children. 4 of the 6 of us are recovering alcoholics/addicts. NONE of them are recovering opiate addicts.......they don't GET the opiate addiction. They understand the "prison", but can't help me specifically in the way others with an opiate addiction can understand me.
I don't harbor ill feelings about it.....I just really need my fellow addicts on this web site......they know me.....they know more about me than my own family does!! I think God is wonderfully amazing to provide this family of addicts for me.......He ALWAYS knows what I need.
And he knows what you, your daughter, the birth mom, and that sweet unborn baby needs.
I am HUGELY grateful to you for helping this birth mom. She hasn't come into your life "by mistake". You are helping her so much and she sounds like she needs you in her life......someone who cares. I am glad to hear she will be in a supervised environment until the baby comes.
Please don't be a stranger......we are "invested" in you and yours now.
We care.....we'll be praying for you all.
Blessings dear one
Wow, you guys sound amazing. I'm so sorry for what your daughter went through, my goodness, so sad. I too agree that especially if she is in rehab, being closely monitored, the baby will hopefully be okay. I will pray for a good outcome for all involved. How wonderful that you want to help this girl, regardless of the adoption outcome. Bless your heart.
"A dr. would NEVER prescribe suboxone and zanax at the same time...."
Just wanted to clarify...that is absolutely the general rule, but it DOES happen, as long as the patient has been made aware of the risks. While the two meds are generally contraindicated, the actual REAL risks are with high high doses, and the people who have run into problems have almost always been injecting the drugs. It is permitted to Rx Sub and Xanax together as long as the max daily dose of Xanax does not exceed (I believe) 6mg (which is pretty high). I'd have to check with the Sub doc I worked with, to be sure those #'s are correct. Just an FYI...not a lot of people realize that benzos and Sub can be and are Rx'd together, although it is discouraged if possible.
That being said, I agree that this girl most likely isn't prescribed any of it. A problem is a problem...just hope she gets well, the baby os ok, and OP's daughterr gets a healthy baby to love.
I don't believe ANY of this was prescribed and no one knows the extent of her drug use for the last 5 months nor can anything be believed. I think that's a huge concern even if she never takes another pill. The benzos ALONE can cause severe birth defects so I hope that gets checked with testing...
I spite of HIPA, she can give permission for you to receive information at anytime. Also, remember, just because she goes to rehab, it doesn't mean she'll stay there.
I just want to touch on these things so you can think about them...And I think "overopiate's" reassurance is a little premature...she may not have read the entire thread...
This is a tough situation but she is exactly where she needs to be.They will monitor her,make sure she gets healthy,eats right,takes vitamins and has no access to these drugs.U did the best thing for her&more important ur grandchild.Pray and know that she is an addict and they r not honest but she has no choice but to b on the straight and narrow.Please dnt spend the next4months panicked.God is watching over ur grandchild and led u to help her get healthy,sober and make sure the baby is healthy
Perhaps someone already mentioned this, my apologies if it's repetative.
It's wonderful that this birth mom is being medically tapered and both her and the baby monitored. This means that if at birth baby has withdrawals, the hospital will know what is going on and be able to take good care of baby. And in all honesty, these babies, with the appropriate interventions, do very very well long term.
There are educational programs your daughter can take through both social services and private agencies that can teach her about things to watch for and possible problems. But honestly, once in a loving nurturing home, chances are really good this baby will be just fine. All the best to you and your family.
Yes I talk to the nurse today and was told that she was tested when she admitted and they know what she has been taking but of course she can't tell me at this time what she was taking yet. I just keep praying she will be okay!
I called the hospital today to check on birth mom... they again told me they couldn't tell me anything. I hope to see her next week. The nurse knows who I am so just as she hung up,,, she said " Birth Mom is hanging tough! THANK GOD! I just wish I could get a message to her to tell her I am here for her... I don't want her to think I just checked her in and walked away!
All your kind words have given me hope! Your all amazing!
Like I said before I don't know much about drug use of any kind.. I have one of those bodies that can't even drink because I get violently sick. I guess that a blessing. I tired smoking pot when I was in high school ... I wanted to be cool... well cool me almost died! I went into totally panic and got so sick my mother had to take me to the hospital . Even now I had to have surgery a few years ago and after they gave me morphin.. again I was out of my mind and sick for a week! I totally lost 5 days!
ADGAL- I didn't know they had programs to teach us about babies born with addition! I called my daughter as so as I received your message! THANK YOU THANK YOU!
over opiates- Thank You... I am trying not to panic... I believe in my heart everything will be okay. I hope/pray our baby and this birth mom make a full recovery! I will always love them both !
NURSEGIRL- the nurse told me that birth mom could sign a release for us to see her medical... I am going to ask her asap if she will allow... I am pretty sure she will... but worried she might be afraid I will walk out on her which I won't do so I have to talk to her and let her know I am in for the long haul!
The blue powder is more than likely 30mg oxycodone.... 30s are blue, 20s are greyish, 15s are green, 10s are pink, and 5s are white. These are oxycodone without any acetaminophen making them easy to snort or even smoke. l speak from experience that's why l know... l too am an addict. Started by a doctor prescribing them and my body grew dependent on them and now l get my pills anywhere l can. l want to stop more than anything but the physical withdrawl is unbearable. one must wean themselves off because cold turkey can kill you.
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