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enabling my daughter?
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enabling my daughter?

My daughter has many issues.  Severe anxiety, panic disorder, anorexia, self harm, PTSD (her brother, my son, committed suicide 10 yrs ago and she is just now dealing with it.  She is workking with a grief therapist, and is starting to see a counselor for the anorexia.  She revealed to me a couple of weeks ago that she had been abusing opiates for awhile, that they were the only thing to help her feel normal.  I removed them from the house (had a stash left over from grandma).  Since then, I see such a decline.  She wont eat much, stays in her room, wont talk and when she does she is beyond angry.  She asked me for a lorcet a couple of nights ago, begged me for one for her head.  I gave in and got her one.  Within an hour she was a different person.  Same thing happened last night.  Now tonight, she hasn't eaten all day, curled up in bed, hasnt slept in almost 20 hours.  She is begging me for another lorcet.  I am so torn and upset, I dont know what to do.  I have the power to help her, but I know I am only enabling her.  We are looking at treatment centers, but they all seem a joke because they only treat the addiciton NOT the underlying causes, one of hers being extreme anxiety, panic disorder.  WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO???
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Avatar_m_tn
Please somebody help me know what to do :(
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1235186_tn?1339127464
hello and welcome.i am so sorry that you and your daughter are going throught this. there is hope...... mom giving her a lorcet isnt helping her, yes it is enabling her. how long had she been using opiates, what and what strength?
she will be over the acute physical withdrawal in about 5 days. the underlying issues will take much more time. get her into see a psychiatrist. do you have a clergymen she can also speak with?
how old is your daughter?
we are here to talk.
sending strength,prayers,encouragement,
keep the faith,
debbie
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you for answering me!  She is 22 yrs old, single, no children.  She didnt specify how much she was taking, just that she had took so much at a time that they would make her throw up sometimes.  They were Lorcet 10s, so the strongest available.  She has been going to grief counselor for about two months, and has just started to the other counselor related to the anorexia.  I am trying so hard to find a treatment facility that will address all the issues.  I know that the anorexia, self harm, severe mood swings, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, etc. all stem from something or multiple things that she needs to deal with psycologically.  So I know that just going for treatment to get off the opiates wont fix the other issues.  Drug rehabs are for the most part, a joke.  They dont treat the whole person.  She has been to so may different psychiatrists who never even look at her, just write a script for a new psych med that never works.  Each time, it just knocks her down a little further.  My son was 23 yrs old when he took his own life and she was 12.  I am so afraid I am going to lose her.  I searched, begged for help for my son for so long and never found it.  I am sorry to ramble on, I am just so lost...
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1235186_tn?1339127464
I am sooo sorry about the lose of your son. there aren't enough words. That is good you daughter is going to the grief and anorexia counselors. Is it possible to also find support groups? Many times hospitals have them.
As much as she can talk about things to as many people as possible the better. Have you spoken with her doctor and asked for suggestions and help?  Has the doctor spoken to her ? How long has it been since she hasn't taken the lorcets? Besides the one or two you have given her?  Do you have a pastor or clergymen who could also speak with her? The anxiety,anger,mood swings are they only since she stopped taking the lorcets?  The imsomnia is also a withdrawal/detox symptom.
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1700643_tn?1348985292
Im so sry to hear about ur son and ur trying everything u can to help ur daughter.She has a lot of issues to deal with.Im sry to say u r enabling her but my heart goes out to u.I get u wanting to c her smile,b happy and normal.Not sure if u know that a lot of people take opiates because they mask deppresion temorarily.I will say if 1makes her feel better this sounds like it has more to do with her depression but it will escalate quickly and she will have to take more to feel"normal".I would address this with her therapists.She is depressed and taking them to feel better.I comend her for being honest with u about it.She is crying out for help with the anorexia,cutting,drugs.Thats actually a good sign.She wants help and wants to be better.Dnt know if u have experience w/depression but I have and it literally gets to a point where getting out of bed is a task.She is so lucky to have a mom who is proactive.I was19severely depressed at home and my mom who had no experience(and issues of her own honestly)didnt notice,i told her how I felt she thought it was something I could just get over with get out of bed&stop feeling sorry for myself.I tried many meds when I FINALLY went on my own for help.She has other issues too I know that but dealong with one at a time.Remember opiates take the seratonin ur brain produces naturally so u r left with a deficiency.Depression is a lack of seratonin.Thats a double whammy cause she ends up more depressed.I know u have tried meds but u need to keep trying.Has she tried cymbalta?works great for depression helps w/anxiety but for me I was also in xanax for all the anxiety etc.U can deal w/one thing at a time.All her issues stem from depression and anxiety so once u get that under control u can work on the other issues easier.Keep trying,dnt give up and know she is trying just by being honest and reaching out.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you are for responding and being so caring.  It truly makes me cry that complete strangers care about us.  She has been using the opaites for probably close to a year if I am guessing right.  Thats how long I had them at the house, never dreaming that she was getting into them. My mom takes them for her fibromyalgia, but is prescribed much more than she not takes.  So, to keep mom from accidently taking too many (I prefill a med planner for her) I would bering the 60 or so a month to my house and stash them in the cabinet.  So I never really noticed that any were missing.  She said that once she took one, she realized that it was the only thing that made her feel normal, alive. SO she lept taking them.  Looking back, I can recall the times she was super happy and upbeat, then to be down the next day and not even be able to leave the house.  I was thinking mood swings or bipolar, but now I am thinking it was the ups and downs of taking the opiates.  I am thinking that the last ones were probalby about a week ago. She is being very honest and wanting help.  The problem we have is that so many times through the years that we have sought help from psychiatirsts, they only tend to make her feel worse.  She got so bad before Christmas, that I convinced her to enter a psych hospital.  They kept her less than 72 hours, sent her home on remeron which didnt help.  She was worse when she got home than when she went!  One of the nurses there told her that since her brother had comitted suicide that the odds were against her.  Who says that to someone???   I didnt give her the lorcet last night and now today she is shut up in her room, says her stomach hurts, she feels so bad and has not eaten all day.  She has so much anger, I can just see it in her eyes.  The grief counselor has truly helped tremendously, she is getting a lot of things out I can tell, but I just dont know if its going to be fast enough.  I feel like she needs medicaiton too.  She has taken remeron, abilify, lamectil, zyprexa, paxil, lexapro and none of them even touched her.  She is taking prescibed klonopin for the anxiety, takes about 6mg/day to even be able to get out of her room due to panic attacks.  Tried long acting xanax and it didnt phase her.  Have tried lunesta, ambien and restoril, all at highest dosages and she still doesnt sleep.
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Avatar_f_tn
Its a shame youre going thru this, but know this, an addict will portray their withdrawls to be a lot worse than they are to someone that can provide them with drugs.   Meaning, i am sure she has a lot ofemotional issues as yousaid, but she WANTS that pill way more than she needs it, especially if she has been off them and her daily doses had been just the one per day.   She shoulnt be that ill...   Careful mom  she could be working you for the buzz...sorry

Im saddenednthat you havent been able to get her full comprehensive behavioral care....thats what it sounds like she needs....
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1235186_tn?1339127464
mom i am glad that the grief counseling is helping could she go more often. did you check into support groups? many times depression,anxiety can become worse from taking medicene. you need to explain to her if she doesnt eat and drink she will wind up in the hospital. i am sorry that you and her were treated that way by that very rude (professional) nurse  at the
hospital. hope should always be encouraged and provided at all costs.
THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE.......   please encourage to get out. the more she stayed isolated the worse she will become. she needs to engage in aactivity,exercise, keep herself busy to get her brain chemistry functioning aagain. yes the opiates definitely cause mood swings, up and downs, highs and lows.
please keep talking to us. we want to try to give you suggestions and ideas.
prayers,hope,hugs
debbie
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Avatar_m_tn
I am taking her 8 hours away in the morning to Illinois to the Demi Lovato concert.  She loves Demi and says she draws a lot of inspiration from her. We have golden tickets so she will be able to go backstage and talk with her.   I am hoping we have a good trip, she has been isolated all day in her room. She may not speak for the whole 8 hour ride :/.   I went and got her a taco and took it to her a few minutes ago and she got so mad.  I touched her leg and she nearly came off the bed.  I just have never seen her so low and angry.  Monday, she sees her counselor again, and I am hoping she will help us get into a good rehab place.  Praying really hard.  Thank you guys for your support, I dont have anyone else to talk to that understands.  Everyone else in the family just tells me to ignore her, that she just wants attention.  But I know that she is truly sick.
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