I guess I am writing this as when you live with this all the time you tend to dismiss bad behavior as 'alcohol talking". I have a problem with my partner whom I care for and love, who when sober is very intelligent but quite judgemental of other people and growing more so every day. My partner drinks when stressed to "relax" and yes I know this is an excuse and talking about the problem turns into a living hell. Once he has one drink he cannot be satisfied and continues to drink until everything is gone. For example - NYE 2012 - 4 long neck beers, two other beers, 1 bottle of wine, one and 1/2 bottles of champagne(by himself) and would have continued if there was more. My partner was hurt quite badly by his family and always talks about this when he is drunk but the whole discussion ALWAYS then projects straight onto me then it becomes about me, my family and the verbal abuse is really horrific and the occasional hand threats. It is really bad when it happens and he does not care where he is when he goes off, its like a demon pocession and very frightening. Besides this problem when he is drunk he has
lately been as nasty to my brother and mother whom are very hurt over yelling that they overheard - this is while he is sober.
You question your sanity why you are still there and am extremely hurt by the tyriads. I cant speak to him about it or it goes to another drinking session so I needs some advise whats going on and what help I can get him before he implodes. I know it is his family but why the projection?
i am going to keep this real simple.as long as you make choices based on his drinking or anger... then you are allowing him to control your life and you are helping him stay sick with his alcoholism... short of a treatment center your other option would be AA meetings for him....as for you,i would suggest a support system to help you navagaite through the insanity so you can make choices that reflect your needs....alanon has a great support system for families of alcoholics
Please do not subject yourself to that conduct. Sober or intoxicated it is not ok for ANYONE to treat you that way. If he is in denial that he has an issue at least step away and talk to someone for your self and when he is ready he hopefully will get the help he needs. Is he stressed everyday and thus drinks or are they isolated binges? Does he work and come home stressed every day?
Does he remember any of this? Those are blackout levels for some drinkers. My sisiter was like that when she drank, but never remembered and even denied. Until, the tape recording. This is a dangerous route to take, while my other sister and I were able to pull this off, it has a lot to do with trust,love, and respect on everones part.
Best of Luck,
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