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WELCOME TO THE ADDICTION: LIVING WITH AN ADDICT COMMUNITY. This patient support community is for family members and loved ones of people who are substance abuse addicts. Discussions cover how to help your loved one, enabling, coping with the emotional impact of addiction, intervention, and when to seek medical help. If you are not a family member of a substance abuse addict and instead need help with your addiction, please visit our Addiction: Substance Abuse Community to get the support you need.

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I recently found out that my 18 y/o son is using heroin.  He had forged apx. $2000 worth of fraudulant check from me and his father.  I have a report with the police but have not pressed charges at this time, hoping I could use this a leverage for him to quit using.  Once confronted he said he's done using and doesn't need treatment.  As far as I know he and his girlfriend and another friend had been smoking heroin for about 8 months.  He has been living with his dad who travels for business and is rarely around.  Since finding out his dad has been working from home and the two of them are not getting along well at all and his dad has had it and ready to kick him out.  My son doesn't want to live with his 14 y/o sister and I because I will have rules and expectations.  He had just graduated from highschool, no job, no motivation, no direction, no rules, and was bored.  All that together, I knew was a recipe for disaster.  So, now he says him and his "user friends" are no longer using. We made him register for school, and attending out pt rehab. He continues to hang out with his girlfriend and the two of them have now changed groups to his new "raver friends"  He has been honest with me and told me they are all using drugs.  I am concerned because he is out all night with them, in their cars etc.  He is in a intensive out pt rehab facility 3 days a week 3/hrs a day.  He says its stupid and a waste of time but is doing it so he doesnt have to go to jail.  We are drug testing him every few days, hes been clean for about a month now.  I know I cant stop him from hanging out with those type of people, so I guess my question is as long as he tests clean let him make those choices? or by allowing it am I setting him up to relapse?
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi. I am not am expert by any means, but my mother has been addicted to many things since she was about 11, (meth is her drug of choice.) And heroin does not stay in your system for long, probably about 72 hours. Also there are many things out there that can clean out your system quickly without showing up on a home drug test. I have learned with my mother that it is very rare for someone with an addiction to be able to quit without professional help. A lot of addicts can go days, weeks, months or (in my mother's case) even years without using and then they start hanging with the wrong crowd again and it starts all over again. Sad but true, it is truly a vicious cycle.. He may not see it now, but I bet those people aren't really his friends. I bet if he really stopped using completely that him and his "friends" would drift apart because you hang out with people that have common interests. I used to smoke pot everyday, and as soon as I got pregnant and stopped smoking...all my friends dropped me. So personally... I think allowing him to continue to hang out with other users just has bad news written all over it. You can message me if you want to talk anytime. Best of luck to you and your family..
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you so much for your response. I know your right about letting him surround himself with the wrong people I just don't know that I have a choice. He lives with his father who's philosophy is he's 18 and can't be told what to do or who to hang with. This is all so frustrating I just want to do the right thing. He is in outpatient rehab but clearly is only going to avoid jail. I have to keep reminding myself that this is not my problem and I can't control everything because that's what I keep trying to do.  Thanks again for your support and response.
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