help

please help me in letting go of my son who is an addict. I have trried to get him help for 10 years to not avail. Our relationship is extremely disfunctional. All experts say tough love but as a parent, in your mind you can do tough love, but in your heart you are still their mom.

[LIZZIE LOU]

letting go does not mean that you have to stop being his mom and loving him.  

i have "let go" of my 34 year old son...did it a couple of years ago...but i still love him dearly and talk to him on the phone every couple of weeks.  letting go for me was allowing him to take responsibility for his addiction...letting go was me not trying to rescue him...letting go for me was taking back MY freedom, my life.

my son KNOWS...without a doubt...that if and when he chooses to seek help...that i am there with him...100%...his biggest supporter.  he also KNOWS...without a doubt...that i am DONE when it comes to his addiction.
to me, it's pretty cut and dry.  do i support his addiction or do i support his recovery?

[akitagurl12]

this was an awesome response.  Thank you.