My husband is addicted to opiates, It is unreal how an addict is so clever that he can have so many people fooled & very few believe my story, i feel he will not get help as long as he keeps getting "opportunities" from his family, as his brother called it, will they ever see it like i do? I have talked until i cannot talk anymore so they are informed & now i have to learn how to let go. It is painful to be separated from him, but painful watching him struggle through withdrawals & seizures & many times of detox over the last few years, its a no win feeling right now. I feel i could support him through rehab if he ever hits his rock bottom & would go, would love nothing more to live 22 more years with him if only he would get help. He does not contact me & i feel so hated. his silence makes it even harder. He says i am trying to destroy him, he is destroying himself. I am an emotional roller coaster ready for this ride to be over.
i know you are hurting. i cant explain why we have to go through these addictions with our husbands. we love them and support them and then we feel betrayed by them. they could win an academy award for their performances, they say all the right things, they do all the right things. they can manipulate and deceive. they are masters at their game of addiction.
hun you know the truth, your husband knows the truth,your children know the truth and most importantly the LORD knows the truth.
why do they think you are separated?
when i told my husbands family i was believed because my husband had drug addiction issues before we were married. they were suprised, but not shocked. they had already seen his addiction first hand.
are you children still speaking with him and seeing him? what does he say to them?
what kind of opportunities is he getting from his family?
did the pastor ever get to meet with him yet? are you getting support and counseling? how is the support group that you attending going? please vent as often as you need to.
you can also pm me, if you want to. the LORD hasnt left you or forsaken you. HE is holding you up. keep the faith.
still praying, hugs
Thank you, my children see him once a week & daily phone calls & nothing much is discussed with them he tells them he is doing good & went to see a psychiarist a couple of weeks ago & was fine. His brother gives him a free place to stay & his mother bought him a truck & pays his insurance & buys groceries, clothes, ect. He works fulltime & we get no support, but he seems to still get help for himself. Because he looks good his family thinks he is fine, what they don't understand is that when he looks bad he is out of pills. I am still going to support group & praying alot but still catch myself trying to help God out. I have tried to express my concern to my children to let him make the efforts to come to them, but they just get angry with me, i am just trying to protect them from more heartache but it only causes tension between us. I feel as long as his pity parties keep working on them & his family he will never reach his rock bottom. He has convinced so many that he is just fine & i am just out to destroy him.
I wish I could say that there was a solution to this, but I know to this very day both of the alcoholics I was involved with their family still sticks up for them and supports them in all ways possible. They could never do anything wrong. It made me at one point question myself, but then like you said, they don't see them when they are "down" or "strung out" or losing their bladder. They are on the outside looking in. I'm certainly glad you are looking at this realistically and have a good head on your shoulders to see what is going on. Keep strong indeed.
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