husbands opiate addiction

My husband is addicted to opiates. A few years ago he was really bad on shooting them. Then he was arrested and put on probation and has since went through a lot of legal things like fines, probation, classes...etc. well after it was all said and done, with a 15 years prison sentence hanging over his head if he messed up again, he began taking lortabs. Just recently I believe he began shooting up again. He goes to the bathroom constantly. He spends all of his money, and he works offshore so we should never he broke, he is ill all the time, if he sits still long, he will pass out....just all the same symptoms of how he was back then. I LOVE him. I don't know what to do. I've been with him for 9 years and the whole time I have had to deal with constant problems. Drugs, the law, rehab....but I've stuck by him. But now I'm sick of it. Am I wrong? I don't believe in divorce. I do not want to leave him but we have four children and I do not want them living this way. I have no where to go. No job. And we live in a small town so u can't get a job here hardly. I just am at my wits end. Someone please give me some advice. I just don't know what to do. Its stressing me out so bad. I am constantly having panic attacks. I've recently started seeing a heart doctor because I have a heart murmur and it races away sometimes. I feel like living with him is going to kill me. Please help!!!

[Bubulous]

Stress and anxiety are dangerous things to contend with and at first the are mental but of course you know they become physical after a while.  I am concerned for you because your mental and physical problems are not going to end untill something changes.
I don't like to tell people to get a divorce but you should entertain the idea and be prepared for if he ends up in jail.  I hope you can make the right decision whatever that is before this kills you.  My wife had to leave me before I really took my recovery seriously.  I was divoced in June 2011 and her new husband is adopting my boys soon.  The paper work is in the mail.  Like I said I don't like to tell people to get divorced but in the case, and I am sorry, I cannot think aof any other way to keep your sanity.  You have to think about how your kids would live if this stress and anxiety does damage to you that cannot be reversed.

Nothing changes until the fear of a change is less than the pain of staying the same.

Larry