I am looking for any kind of help or suggestions that anybody can give. I have a 24 year old son and a 21 year old daughter. my daughter has a 1 year old son and is pregnant with her second... Both of my kids are addicted to Lortab and xanex, my son has no job and gotten 2 DUI's from pills and my daughter thinks the pills wont effect her baby? What can i do???
Oh Hun, what an issue!
First problem is that unless they want help, it doesn't work. Sure on the show Intervention, but that's TV. However, staging an intervention with just family can work sometimes.
Your daughter.. Please tell her she needs to come clean to the OB/GYN. That they will help her, but if she waits till the birth, and they test her, which is highly likely anymore, she will end up with CPS on her back. Possibly losing both her kids. But if she tells the Dr now, that can be avoided.
She can't just stop Xanax cold turkey either. Not only her risk of seizures, she risks the babies health too.
Some more will be along with advise. Stay posting. Perhaps after you get a bunch of responses here, you could show her this thread.
Oh my, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Being a loved one of an addict is difficult enough, but to have two children suffering is just so hard!
Does your daughter have custody of the first child? Does her doctor know she is using? It's just SO important that she be 100% honest with her doctor. Is she getting regular prenatal care?
The pills most certainly can affect her baby, especially the Xanax. That is a a pregnancy category "D" medication as far as risk to the unborn child, that means there HAVE been reported cases of harm coming to a child when Xanax is taken while pregnant. That's a high risk category. The opiate (Lortab) can cause w/ds if she runs out, and if she is experiencing w/ds, so is the baby, which can cause miscarriage and other problems.
While she may be fearful about being honest, it is crucial she talk to her OB. If she doesn't, and the doc finds out without her being forthcoming about her drug use, CYS will be called in to investigate and very likely she could lose the baby. If she's honest, they would work with her. This is all MUCH more important if she has a documented history of addiction, especially as it relates to her other child.
Unfortunately, there is nothing YOU can do to help your kids. They have to help themselves, they have to want it. All you can do is encourage them to seek help and support them in any attempt at recovery they make, and most importantly, do not enable them by giving them money, etc. It's a very difficult position to be in, but honestly, they are adults, and these are their decisions.
I sincerely hope your kids decide they want a better life. I hope especially your daughter realizes the risks she is taking and the harm she could be doing to that baby. If she doesn't get help or tell her doctor, I would strongly recommend that you notify her doctor of the drug use. I know thaty's a very difficult thing to do, but someone has to advocate for that baby, to protect him/her. Same goes for her child she already has...protecting the children has to be made the top priority, even if it means you have to make some tough decisions to get the courts and/or an agency like CYS involved.
Prayers coming your way..please update us when you can.
i just read ur post and wanted to say how sorry i am. Its tough to watch anyone go through addiction, i cant imagine ur pain. I just wanted to say that the only way they could get help is by facing the realization that they have a problem, u cant fix a problem if there isnt one. As Barb posted above, family interventions seem to work sometimes. and just let them know that there are support centers out there where professionals know how to treat addiction.
I sincerely hope that your children choose to get clean
I have to agree with all the previous posts to you, however I will add my own personal spin. I worked very closely with a gal everyday she had a daughter close to yours in age she too was hooked on pills with Xanax being her drug of choice..she became pregnant and could not shake her addiction she lived.in California and it did not take long for her ob/gyn to become involved.....really long story shortened her tests continued to be tainted and her doctor was forced under his laws.of practice to notify Child protective services as a result as soon as she gave birth...her newborn daughter was handed over in the moment that is suppose to be filled with love and joy was overtaken by horror and great distraught...so I urge you to share this very real story with her, as we do know rehab will not be effective if she.doesn't want to commit to the process. My heart breaks for you and ill pray for their recovery from this nasty nasty situation. My care and concern is present
You are not alone---this is not what we signed up for when we became parents !! Who watches the 1 year old?? This is one where even though she is an adult, it would be pertinent to alert her OB?GYN assuming that she is receiving prenatal care !! Otherwise, I agree with the previous post let human services know--I know that in some states they can actually lock the woman up to keep her clean until she delivers as this is endangerment to another individual. Regardless the reality is that the power of the drug takes over anything resembling common sense and moral/ethical decisions. Are you in any kind of family support for YOURSELF!!! We become so absorbed in trying to fix and stop the addict, all other areas of lives become non-existence and we become hostages in our own lives by our own children.
I truly feel your pain.
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