kinda confused not sure what to title this

I wasn’t sure which forum to ask this in…
ok so here is my question...I just need some advice....there is a long history but the jist of it is this: my ex boyfriend and I have a 4 year old daughter together.  For all of her life he has been on and off pills and heroin and in and out of jail.  He hasn’t seen her since April because he let the addiction over come him.  He was homeless and high etc.  Just yesterday he got an apartment and has some help and seems to be on the right track.  I want to see him stable and clean for at least a month before I let him see our daughter.  More so because I don’t want her to get all excited then have him disappear again ya know.  soooo I feel torn.  On the one hand I wanna stick to my word and make him wait a month, more for her sake.  But then on the other I wonder if he saw her for just a few minutes like today or something if that would be beneficial to both or detrimental to one or the other.  Of course I have family telling me to keep my word but my gut feels torn.  Please any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you in advanced.  

[Jaybay]

Stick to your guns.  He needs to crash and burn before he will ever finally accept that he has to get clean.  Based on what you've written, I don't believe he has any intention to get any real help in the form of rehab or NA/ AA.  Who got the apartment for him?  Who's paying his food and other bills?  Whoever it is just enabled him to keep right on using in comfort so don't get your hopes up and keep your daughter far, far away.  Frankly, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't let him near her unless and until he completes an inpatient rehab program.  

[bull55]

There is a resource I know of that can be a big help for you. If you really want to help him call this 24 hour hotline for questions about addictions.

877-637-8133  open 24/7

[emmalee187]

I have been in this situation myself and I found that phone calls or skype is the best way to go.  As long as you set some ground rules, it can help both sides.  It could help him to feel motovated and supported, and give your daughter a chance to get to know her father again before a face to face meeting( which can be scary for children).  Just thought I would share what worked for me. best of luck.