substance abuser

hello medhelp i have also some of my family members my three brothers and my father. They are smokers and m alcoholic drinkers. I hate them and dont know to handle the anger it brought to me when i saw they   do their vices. Can you give me some advice to handle such stresses?

[Jaybay]

Hi august, and welcome.  There's nothing wrong with being angry.  Anger and frustration at watching loved ones destroy their lives are normal reactions.  The only problem is that we can allow those emotions to take over our lives and destroy us just as surely as the alcoholics destroy theirs.  

When you reach the point of accepting that nothing you say or do will change their behavior and that you are powerless over alcohol, you'll find a lot of that anger will melt away.  A safe place to vent is in a place like Al-anon.  If you can find a group that you like, (they're all a bit different) you can learn new ways of coping with your alcoholic relatives.  Sometimes that might mean completely divorcing yourself from them.  If you have to live with them, the idea is to learn to protect yourself physically and emotionally and learn how to live the life YOU want to live in spite of them.

Are you an adult or are you a minor and still living with your father?  If you're a minor, find an Ala-Teen meeting.  If nothing else, it's an oasis of calm for an hour to be around people just like you without the chaos of your actively drinking family members.

As for the anger, I know what it's like to feel as if you're going to explode if something doesn't give.  Shredding a telephone book while you curse it out can help.  So can breaking glass bottles in a dumpster.  The idea is to get the anger out without hurting yourself or someone else.  Punching out a stack of pillows is another one.  Give it a try sometime.  

[dominosarah]

Jaybay gave you good advice.  There is nothing that you can do to make them stop.  All you can do is take care of you.  Do you have Alanon meetings in your area?