will my boyfreind ever quit weed?

My boyfreind and I have been dateing a couple of months and the only thing that gets in our way is his pot smoking. I have asked him to stop and he said he will. Yet I have seen no change. He starts his new job thursday were he cant smoke so i hope that will be a motivation for him. we have plans for a future and a family together but i worned him if he does not change i will not stay with him. I can not have a life and child with a boy who does drugs.

Could someone please help me and tell me what is the best thing to do, when will he stop? should i give him more time?

thank you BooBeary

[seattlemom2plus]

I am glad you are setting boundaries for yourself and for your family.  One thing that is important is that you stick to those boundaries to make him understand you mean business and you mean what you say.  We can't make anyone stop doing drugs, but we can stop enabling them.  You can also set boundaries like not wanting him around you or the child when using.  Keep us posted, so glad you came in on the forums, hope it helps :D

[Boobeary]

Thank you that is verry kind.
I know we cant make anyone stop only they can. I would would like to set up boundaries but i dont know what would be pushing it and is exeptable to ask. I would like it to be he doesnt smoke anything around me or any of his freinds either but that is not posible. He can only control himself. So the I would have to be the one to leave when they all light up. If you have any helpfull ideas I would love to hear them.

I just know when I went to see him this weekend he did not smoke as much if any, because I was there and that was very nice.

[cdndude12]

How often does he smoke on an average day ?

Does he "wake and bake" in the mornings ?

[Boobeary]

I would have to say because he does it all socialy that its about 3 to 4 times a day. somedays it might be more or less.

He does not wake and bake. but does it around the afternoon time. like after a shower and food. hes been up for about one to two hours.

[seattlemom2plus]

I hate to say this but yeah if you set a boundary and stick to it even if it means you leaving the room or the place while they smoke up, it's making a strong statement that you are standing your ground. Are you pregnant now or were you both just talking about having a family together in the future?

And yes if you have only been dating for a couple of months if you don't get it through his head that you don't want this type of behavior in your relationship then it's just like saying it is ok.  If you remove yourself from the situation or decide to not hang around him while he is high then he will have to make a choice as to what is more important to him, being with you or getting high.  Glad you are still posting, I know it's not easy to be in this situation.