Cheating in a relationship

Do you find cheating in a relationship more exciting?

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92%

 (38) 

No

2%

 (1) 

Yes. It helps my relationship grow and learn new things at the same time

4%

 (2) 

Yes. But only sex involve

41 Members voted

[Kanela]

Am I going to hell?

[teko]

I think people who cheat on someone shows their immaturity level. They care not that they have emotionally torn someone apart until they are the recipients of their own behavior, and then cry fowl. I think it takes a very self serving immature person to do this to another.

[dominosarah]

I have no idea if you are going to he!! but you will feel like you are there when you get caught and you will be caught.  I've been there done that and i so agree with what teko said............sara

[allaboutmary]

From a former cheater.......................IT'S SO NOT WORTH IT.  

[BaronMunchausen]

The Baron finds the whole idea of cheating to be exhausting.

It sounds like too much work.

In fact, the Baron supports polygamy. He has told his wife many times that if she wants to collect a few more husbands that would be totally fine with him.

That way, husbands B, C, and D can take care of all those little things like bring in money from work, general house maintenance, going out to tiresome romance movies, etc... while he can sit at home comfortably in a chair and play video games and surf the Internet. ;-)

[jollyman069]

remember what Larry the Cable Guy said....Guns don't kill people, it's husbands that come early do!!!!

[lonote]

I've cheated before, in my younger years. When my ex husband would beat me up.
It was my way of getting even. Revenge. Only secret revenge, cuz if he found out, it would be  another whooping. I thought that was the norm. I thought fighting went with
alchohol. Guess I had alot to learn in my early 20's. No man has put their hands on me in 35 yrs in an unkind way. Unexecptable. So was cheating. Bad idea. I've been with my husband and in the begining his only rule was to be monogomous. Everything else was up for discussion. I met the man of my dreams. Thats all I wanted was a good man who woulden't cheat. When the one one the recieving end of that finds out it is heartbreaking.
I don't think you are going to hell, and I also don't think you would hurt anyone delibertly.
My spelling is horrible. Pardon the spelling. Good Luck  Hon. Don't do it anymore.

[LateAugust]

Your spelling was just fine, however your words were so eloquent and well spoken......   a very sincere and nice responce.    I am sure those are memories you would rather leave forgotten, thank you for sharing.

[lonote]

Thankyou for your kind words my dear. You made my day. And also put a smile on my face!!

[outotown]

been married almost 25 years never done it never will, came close but I stoped it before it happened and is was in the process of happening, at that very moment. HMMMMM!!!! so many women cheaters, i should talk to my wife.

PS I told her she can get a girl friend, BUT I GET TO GET ME ONE TOO!!!

[j34]

I voted no. I believe in trust, love,honor. No way do I share what I have worked hard to obtain! Making love to my partner is a spiritual experience and a bonding,that helps our relationship mature.When we want good old fashioned getting it on . I wear the heels..Talk dirty whatever I can be what he wants and vise versa. No sharing here.

[mtgoat911]

its completly selfish and self-centered, in active addiction my husband and i both cheated and we did not have an open marriage, we do not behave this way in recovery
there is more than one way to cheat on your loved one, it can be using drugs and becoming totally emotionally unavailable, or playing golf every night when you get off work ignoring your kids, or one can become so self absorbed they forget to be concerned with thier loved ones needs,
being in a relationship takes effort, if you are cheating on someone you love that does make you an evil jerk in my opinion, however i do not believe in hell, i believe in karma, i believe that someday a cheater will fall deeply in love, become totally involved with another human being, just at the right moment that cheater will find out that their loved one has had sex with another, if you believe in hell i am sure you believe that you will reep what you sow, i call that pay back
put it this way, my husband cheated on me 9 yrs ago and i still feel broken hearted over it, and i cheated on him 6 yrs ago and he still has thoughts and insecurities over the situation, once someone cheats, all that hurt will never go away

[outotown]

Two feets they come a creeping, like a black haired dude
And two bodies lieing necked, people think theu got nothing to loose
So he creeps into this house now and unlocks the door
And as the mans reaching for his trouser's
He shoots him full of 38 holes
LynrdSkynyrd

When you cheat, you honestly kill the other persons spirit!!! How can you ever trust that person again, thier will always be doupt about them in your mind, and ????? marks.
Dont ever do it!!!!

[tryinhard78]

It is not worth the heartache...My husband had an affair 5 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about it. There isn't a night that goes by that I don't cry myself to sleep. He!! NO it doesn't make a marriage more exciting. It is devastating!!!

[Totsie59]

Cheating caused my EX to lose EVERYTHING...and I mean EVERYTHING...it has been over 20yrs...and he still tells me how sorry he is...I have been remarried for 20yrs..and I would NEVER cheat...believe in my heart of hearts that my hubby would never cheat either...he has been there...had a cheating spouse...

[SophieShine]

I just can't, period.

[dominosarah]

there is a big difference between love and lust.........

[avisg]

cheating is the most selfish thing one can do your are not only cheating on your spouse but your cheating on your children as well .If you are not happy in your realtionship get out of it .Its nots everyone elses job to have to suffer becuase you are selfish.Sorry if I sound harsh but I have been cheated on it almost destroyed my whole family .It  took four years of seperation before we could work threw it and there was not a day in those 4 years that my kids did not suffer.

[jo929]

If you have to cheat, get out of the relationship, he does not need you.   jo

[IBKleen]

I can't even vote on this. There is nothing there for me to say. I think it is a horrible thing to do to a person and degrading to yourself. I guess I am a prude in my old age but I see no need for it.

Back in the day, I have done it and I have had it done to me. I have been hurt and I have hurt others. I don't want to do that today. It took me a long time I guess to learn to treat others the way I want to be treated. Oddly enough, I learned that through my years of addiction.

I just think it is selfish, not exciting.

[dominosarah]

Never again would i lower myself to be someones mistress......sorry but you dont find love sneaking around,in the back seat of a car or a cheesy motel or even a 5 star one.....all it is is cheap grudge sex.......

[Totsie59]

I had to come back and post again...Being cheated on hurt soooo much...I felt like I was dying...I was a wreck...I could not eat or sleep. I had 2 little boys to take care of...I hate to even think back to that time in my life.. I would NEVER cheat. I love my husband.

[gator145]

Cheating hurts everyone including the cheater......

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

There is an incredibly large difference between cheating on a sexual relationship for excitement and a well developed adevturesume sex life......... usually between two consenting adults.......... Take uo skydiving ans scuba iy ya need that rush - - - its really all bout getting caught, you know?  Forbiddeeb fruit and all of that!

[sway1]

i voted no, but i really don't know. i have put my hubby through alot and he has stood beside me through it all. it boils down to i wouldn't want him to do that to me, so i would not do that to him. we are both allowed to flirt, look and comment. we keep it fun. even a little role playing, plus lots of phone sex as he is gone alot. peace. sway

[imanaddict]

My ex and I had a dysfunctional relationship where all we did was cheat on each other. I hated myself and him for the 7 years we tortured each other by staying together. He's really the only person I have ever cheated on and all it did was make me feel bad about myself. I always had feelings of guilt and was disgusted by my actions. I never really found it exciting because I didn't like what I was doing. I basically did it because he was doing it to me, which is NOT a good reason. I was young and dumb then. I did learn from it though, so there's something good that came out of it. I just wish I didn't have to learn the hard way. In the end, I found I only cheated myself.

[mami1323]

Cheating to me is the most disgusting thing a person can do.  My fiance cheated on me for 2 years all while I was busy planning our wedding and pregnant with our child and after that home taking care of our child.  It has damaged me more than anything else and has forever left a scar.  I have forgiven him and we have been in counseling for a year but I haven't forgotten anything.  If I allow myself to think about it, I get so angry and bitter.  It is very immature and it is very destructive.  He was selfish and hurtful and realized after he was caught that it wasn't worth losing his family over.  The trust is gone and may never return to that place it once was and it's unfortunate because I would never and could never hurt him the way he's hurt me.  So NO, cheating is not worth it.  Maybe it's exciting but it isn't real and it's cruel to all involved that are innocent in the entire thing.  

[kiddthekatt]

  My vote was also no. My husband and I will be married 37 years in Sept. We've stood beside one another through sickness and in health. I love that man as much, no, more! than I did the day I married him. He will always be my true love.

[cattalina]

I'm sure everyone will hate me for this comment... I don't condone cheating - I think people should learn to communicate and be honest - but it's actually not natural for humans to be monogamous... it's in our DNA, dating back to the stone ages, to "spread the seed" and have multiple relationships with multiple partners. I think it's like a 4 year turnover or something like that (according to science) that is basically programmed into our DNA to find a new partner. Relationships are a lot of work and if you're not willing to put the work into it - just get out, don't cheat.

[avisg]

Yeah that my point if you dont want to e with the person ok ...leave them before you start something new .Causes alot less heartache

[Beargizmo]

I don't have time to read everybody's responses at the moment but will later..I swore I would never cheat...never..and then a woman in my office at the time (20 + yrs ago) caught my eye at the right time and before you knew it...4 months later I was divorced, and she was still living with the guy she promised she was going to leave for me....4 months after that she moved to Houston with the same guy (from MASS) promising she'd leave him a the "right time"..this went on for 4-5 years...and one day I woke up...called her, said "thats it"..and it was.  too late to save my marriage but it all was not worth it...oh the sex was great, the strokes to the ego were great...but I destroyed my family...and I can't help but wonder what life would be like today if I threw her out of my office like I should have..

I'm now trying to talk my oldest son out of his temptation to do the same thing...it is not worth it NEVER...and I'll regret it for the rest of my life and I blame part of my son's death on what happened way back then...

Jim

[quietfeather]

just a question....after reading all of these posts I have to ask, Is the cheater only sorry AFTER he/she gets caught? So does this mean they are sorry they cheated or sorry they got caught?

[fedupinmt]

I know that I felt sorry, after i got caught cheating on the ex,  the one and only time. Probably wouldn't of felt sorry if not caught. Only did it once and now i'm older and somewhat wiser. I agree with baron its too much work,  just be one more man to tell "no have headache tonight."  I think ppl  that cheat are having  problems in the relationship, that needs  to be taken care of,  that was the case in my marriage.

[Paddy78]

I think cheating word itself seems to be offensive,  Being in relationship and you are looking outside for satisfaction in terms of sex or mentally so that is only a rope rage relationship. Their you are not have a right relationship......

So of you had a bad relationship or a nocturnal... beware your partner can go out....

[road2recovery]

My first husband cheated on me, and the pain was the worst I have ever felt in my entire life....I would be devastated if my now husband were to cheat on me., and i would never cheat on him....But looking back when i was in active addiction, I did feel like i had a love affair with the pills BAD!!!  Thank God that relationship is over!!

[Beargizmo]

Friend of mine came home from work one day...the woman he adored and has cared for above and beyond during a series of illnesses wasn't home...he went into the kitchen and found a note..she had left him for the male half of friends they use to pal around with on weekends...he never had any idea...a number of lives ruined...but those 2 are "happy"..I told him she'll be back in a couple months begging for forgiveness...


Jim