After Dark Cafe is open for business~

Okay everyone,you know the rules right?  If not here are a few of them....

1.  STAY AWAY FROM MY POLE
2.  That is MY whip cream
3.  Clean up after yourself
4.  What happens in the cafe stays in the cafe
5.  Violators will be towed at their own expense

We do need a few to come in and clean the place up.  Volunteers?

[rizboy]

i can do a few hours a week

[IBKleen]

So basically you have all the good stuff and obviously are not willing to share. So do we just watch or what? Cause I'm not cleaning that up.....

[dominosarah]

Ya pretty much i do!! lol

Maybe you can use Terry"s swing in the corner!!!

[bmdad]

I'd like to know who made that mess....there's noway I'm cleaning that up either! Where's Vicki?


Here's a new rule that might be fun....you have to end every post with a question.

What does everyone think?

[IBKleen]

Who is cleaning?

Where is Vicki?

Is Brian wearing a pink tutu?

I have so many questions......

[bmdad]

Follow the rules IBK or the whip will come out! You're suppose to end each post with a question!

Got it?!!

[dominosarah]

You have a whip?!!!

[vicki595]

I'm here.

Where are you?

[dominosarah]

I thought you had moved on or something.  You have been rather quiet.

Why are you quiet?

[IBKleen]

Why didn't Brian answer my question about the pink tutu?

[dominosarah]

Why didnt he answer my question about the whip?  He wanted the questions and now noone answers the damn things!!

IBK....would you like a cat?  Oh man is he naughty today!  

[IBKleen]

Run Snickers! RUN! See Snickers run. Why is Snickers running?

[dominosarah]

He wants to go outside and it is frickin cold here!

[IBKleen]

You are going to get buzzed by bmdad. You didn't word that in the form of a question!

Why can't snickers decide for himself if he wants to hang outside in the cold?

[vicki595]

Here's my story...my computer is in the hospital awaiting a hard drive transplant following multi system failure. I'm forced to use my iPad and it's difficult on the forum and with emails,etc...it's not a good excuse but I like easy and this isn't!!

Has the dress code in the cafe changed at all?         LOL

[sandstone27]

I don't know about this...

Should I be scared?

[dominosarah]

Dont be scared!!  lol

vicki..do you want the dress code to change?

[IBKleen]

Yes, be wery, wery scared!

I have to wear clothes?

[sandstone27]

There aren't any clowns are there?

Like Pennywise?

[IBKleen]

Yes, there are clowns hiding in the drains. I wonder what they are wearing?

[lulu747]

LOL.  Have any of you, besides Vicki, seen the Vagina Monologues?  You basically just wrote a scene from it.  Including the 'Where's Brian?"

Seriously.  Is this a Sunday thing?

[IBKleen]

I DO know the Monologues. Good stuff! This is an every day thing and everyone is invited. It's a fun thing. It's a dress up thing. It''s a nude thing. It's a poll thing. It is a whatever you want it to be thing. It's a release. It is safe. It is don't ask, don't tell at it's finest. THAT meaning for all genders.  

Will you be joining us?

[bmdad]

So, you wanna know if I am wearing the pink tutu? You pretty much answered that IBK with your "I have to wear clothes question. I've been twirling the tutu over my head for the past two days.

Sara....first off...prepared for your whipping! Also, you didn't have to tell us that it's cold outside. We pretty much figured that out once you walked into the room topless. Then again, I did hear someone say you like ice cubes.
Did you drive to the cafe topless or is that just your everyday attire?

[dominosarah]

Does that make me a bad person if i answer yes to both?!!!

[vicki595]

LMAO!

It's a release???

Who says?

[IBKleen]

Can I borrow the pole please?

[bmdad]

Borrow it? You can have it! Get to twirling though cause I'm here watching. You just can't see me ;-)

What do ya think about that Sara?!

[vicki595]

I love to be watched...

Can I have the pole next?

[bmdad]

The pole is officially torn down. The reason being is that lap dances are much better than pole dances!

Agree?

[dominosarah]

Can you guess where the pole is going???

[bmdad]

Ha! Now that's funny!

Are you one of those wise gals or are you one of those kinky cougars?!!

[dominosarah]

Does the later one make me bad?!!  lol

[vicki595]

The pole is gone?

Okay...no problem. There are other ways to dance naughty!

[IBKleen]

OUCH! Is that why I can't sit down?

[dominosarah]

Nope the pole isnt gone.  How does that grab ya?

[bmdad]

The latter one does make you bad but bad can be a good thing too ;-)

Every time I look there's another pole up. How many poles do you have?

There are 3 of you but I only have two laps. How does that work?

[bama88]

can  i join?

[dominosarah]

We push the weakest one off your lap, they fall down, we laugh!!

I have many spare poles, too many to count.

Does IBK have the jello ready?

[bmdad]

Of course you can join Bama. Everyone is welcome! It can get kinda wild at time so I hope you don't mind wild!


Oh you crack me up Sara!

Jello? Did you say Jello??!!!!!

[IBKleen]

Jello? As soon as I can shake this pole (and we know what that means) I will get to making the jello. Whipped cream with that?

[sandstone27]

Does anyone need a trapeze? The deluxe model?  

[dominosarah]

Yes we do!  What comes with the deluxe model?!

[IBKleen]

My pole was taken from me. I also need to know about this deluxe model. What accessories does that come with and does it have a jello holder?

[dominosarah]

How about a trampoline??  lol

[rnangel]

Oh YES! A trampoline is the most fun! I was jumping yesterday (nothing fancy like my boys with all their flips and twirls) but I found myself laughing. I mean really laughing. Something about flying in the air is fun and scarey all at the same time. It's like recovery lol...somedays the sun is shining and others are stormy with crackling thunder. Yep, I say weather the storm with some fun!!

[vicki595]

Were you naked on the trampoline?  

The dress code here is minimal.

Anyone else like strawberry jello?

[sandstone27]

The deluxe model  comes WITH swingers - you can invite them or tell them to leave at any time; and it DOES come with a jello holder! and other holders - what would the other holders be for?  

[IBKleen]

Well, from the looks of this crowd I will need a holder for the jello, a holder for the whipped cream (large holder) and another for the condoms.

Do you think the deluxe model will suit my needs?

I cannot do the trampoline. I last time I tried I darn near poked my eyes out with my boobs. Very painful. Has anyone else had this happen?

[addict3]

LOL!!

I've been poked in the eye by swingers before!!

Does that count?

[vicki595]

No, my eyes have never been poked out by your boobs or by mine!

Addict3: poked by swingers?  HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[IBKleen]

Inquiry minds need to know. Poked by swingers?

[addict3]

Well, I did poke them first. lol

[rnangel]

Naked on the trampoline? Are you crazy?! I live in Canada..you know the land of eskimos and igloos LOL. That's sounds like summertime fun for sure!

Strawberry jello is yum. Kinda embarrassing when company comes over and sees a kiddy pool filled with jello in the middle of the living room though. Well the swingers get it. What can I say? We looooooove jello ;o)

[dominosarah]

You all better be bringing your own damn cans of whipped cream!!

I'm game for the trapeze and trampoline!!  Mangel, i do understand the naked thing..I am from Minnesota and it gets rather chilly here too!  Sometimes we have to explain things to IBK!!  lol

IBK..Couldnt you build a shelf for them??

Addict...I'm hoping your wife pops in here!!!  You will be so busted!!  lol

[vicki595]

Question:  Is it "rnangel" or "mangel"?  r n or m?  Thanks!

Addict3:  was that a slowpoke?

The trampoline would be indoors...

[dominosarah]

I think it is r n angel..I bet she is a nurse!

[vicki595]

Pretty slow weekend around here!

It's fun having a party-for-one but now I'd like some company!!

[IBKleen]

I'm here Vicki. What's your pleasure? Trampoline, pole or trapeze?

[vicki595]

Pole. ( lolololol)

[IBKleen]

You do the pole. I think I will try the "deluxe" trapeze. Are we dressing up for this?

[vicki595]

No. We're dressing down.  Can't wear anything that would get between me and a pole!!

[bettermomma]

O my goodness! LOL you guys are too much! But I looooooooovvveeee it! I wanna join!? What can I do?

[IBKleen]

Bettermomma, apparently all you have to do is get naked and swing from the pole!! LOL

Hey Vicki, I tried the naked thing and my problem is that when I do the side way thing or the half upside down thing I get smacked in the chin. Get my drift? You know this is an issue with me and I have spoken openly about it, even to addict3. So, any suggestions on how I can avoid this "gravity" issue????????

[sandstone27]

You could give that Genie Bra thing another try - maybe ask one of the hardbody swingers to help?

[vicki595]

Okay...I know what you mean. Let's try some duct tape on you and see if that helps...or maybe just some ribbons.

  What a visual!!

[IBKleen]

Thanks SS but The Genie Bra was cut from my body in a frantic attempt to restore circulation!  

Duct taped boobs, naked on a trapeze. Who wouldn't pay to see that? lmao

[dominosarah]

I mentioned building a shelf for those damn things earlier!

[sandstone27]

I thought the shelf was for the whipped cream?

[IBKleen]

I thought the shelf was a foot rest. Man, I really need some instruction here. It's been so long since I did this stuff, I forget which way to hang!

[sandstone27]

So you're taping IBK's boobs to a shelf using duct tape?  

[bettermomma]

Ok... I got the duct tape and another can of whipped cream!


Where's the pole... or maybe even the trampoline?

[IBKleen]

Okay ladies, there is a lot of stuff I have done in my day (and will still do). I am an addict after all but I WILL NOT HANG FROM A POLE OR A DELUXE TRAPEZE NAKED WITH MY BOOBS DUCT TAPED. Okay? You will need to find some other sucker. This momma is way too old!

Ask DS...she is usually game for anything if you offer her something as simple as an Apple Fritter...trust me, it's true!!!

[bmdad]

I saw we just wrap IBK in shrink wrap! Naked means naked and duct tape would just cover em up!

Now is Sara's stripper pole gonna be placed in the middle of the trampoline?

We could take the net off of the trampoline,wrap shrink wrap around it and then fill it up with jello. Addict and I can sit back and watch you ladies to some naked/jello/trampoline wrestling! Might as well top all of you off with some whipped cream while we're at it!

IBK....I say leave the shrink wrap off. They can be your secret weapon(s)!

You each need a wresting name now! I've got a few in mind. Anyone else?

[littlebit667]

I just wanna watch!

[dominosarah]

Okay Brian, lets hear em!!!

IBK..I think you have forgetten a few things in your day!!  Now where are my apple fritters?????????????

[bmdad]

Tomahawking Torpedos
The Bouncing Bashing Twins
The Funbag Fanatic

[detox1978]

hey who put the ashtray in the freezer?
& why is there a monkey wearing a diaper in my bedroom?

[vicki595]

IBK-  I think you better take the Madame, I mean, Hostess function at the Cafe. It's a lot safer...

[dominosarah]

I plead the 5th on the monkey!!

[bmdad]

Hostess function? Really Vicki? Do you have Ding Dongs and Snowballs on your mind again??!!!

[vicki595]

Yes...a "Snowball"...

HAHAHA!

[detox1978]

yaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooooo!

[bmdad]

It's awfully quiet over here. What happened? Is everyone crammed into a little room behind locked doors? Why wasn't I invited??!!!

[addict3]

I think the authorities have closed it down for cleaning!

[Mangee]

I was hiding behind the bar the other night and I saw what was going on. Sara, I am very very surprised at your antics. Here I had you pegged as a strait laced Victorian kind of lady and I find I was wrong. How could you do this in  front of my virgin eyes? Just for that here is a very large HUMPH. I took a sample and found out that it was not vasilene on the pole.

[IBKleen]

There is no damn bar in the cafe, (duh) for one and the vaseline "sample" on the pole crack was a little rough....even for here. Seriously...YUK!

[Bkitty]

I actually tried a pole dancing class once and I ended up giving myself a black eye when I flipped upside down I kicked myself.

We should add some wax in the mix,,today I got my eyebrow,,lip,,well my whole face waxed and she dropped some on my eyelid and it glued my eye shut

Maybe Im a machosist? I subconsciously enjoy pain

I like whip cream,,,its slippery though

[dominosarah]

Mangee, sorry for the visual!!!  lol

[vicki595]

I'm still trying to think of a solution to IBK's large breast situation!  Im thinking that Brian may have to hold them...

[IBKleen]

The duct tape is out of the question. The saran wrap just isn't fashionable and poor Brian's arms would fall off after an hour. I give up on the equipment and will take the job at the door.

I WILL find the outfit perfect for me and I shall stand at the door and greet everyone with the grace and elegance you all know I possess!! (It's getting deep in here)...

[dominosarah]

We could write the menu down on your boobs, that way everyone would know the daily special!

[vicki595]

HAHAHAHAHAHA    HAHAHAHAHAHA  HAHAHAHAHAHA !

Ohhhhhh!   That's funny Sara!

IBK:  Definitely topless with several strands of pearls. Very attractive and classy. Also, small pearl earrings...

[dominosarah]

Who is going to look at her earrings??

There is a lady on MH who enjoys the cafe but it takes too long to load on her phone..I am going to start a cafe #2 so she can participate.