Bummed :((

[Bkitty]

Im still in the hospital,,Friday night I passed out twice. I was having a hard time going to the bathroom for several days and I ate a big salad friday night and that got things moving so to speak. I got these terrible horrible abdominal cramps and spasms that made me feel like I was gonna pass out. I tried to go with no luck and when I got up to go lay down I was feeling funny and passed out on the way back to my bed. My husband sat me up (too soon) and I passed out again. 911 was called and I had dropped my heart rate into the 30-40's and my BP was down in the 80's after a liter of fluids my BP was still low so off I went to the ER. All labs and tests were negative. I went home only to wake up Sat with cramps and passing blood clots,,,started out small and increased during the day and back came the spasms. Passed out AGAIN was taken back to the ER where my pulse again was in the 30's and I was in and out of consciousness. Recieved 2 units packed cells and lower GI were I had torn my colon some. Patched up and back in the room started the passing of clots AGAIN! It still isnt better and Im still stuck here and Im bummed out. I cant miss too much work I just took 45days off to get clean. The only medication I am taking is Bentyl a anti colon spasmotic and thank God it works like a charm. I declined demerol and told them I was highly allergic and they kept pushing it but I stood my ground. I just wanna go home and sleep in my bed. Im sosoo tired. At least they have wi-fi but my mom didnt come out cuz of the snow and my husband is at work for 12 hours so Im all alone. My tummy is still sooo bloated. Can you believe all this from constipation? How embarrasing. I took a long shower,,hep-locked my IV got my own urine sample and put my leads and cardiac monitor back on,,,the joys of being a RN I think the nurses here like that I can hang my own fluids (last night she hung a bag waiting for me to finish and I changed it out). I dont wanna overstep my boundries though-LOL. They dont even bother me. Im at the end of the hall all by myself and yes I am having a pity party. I just wanna cry. I wanna go home.

[Bkitty]

Thank You so very much everyone! Lostmakeupgirl you will have 100days in no time! It seems like it goes reallly really really slow but in hindsight those days flew by,,you will see soon enough. I had a GREAT eval and although I could have did better,,,I am humbled, grateful and thankful that I work with such amazing people and that given what I have been thru this past year I am thankful I have a great job. I was really worried I had screwed that up but like my therapist would say "Where is the evidence?" . Changing your way od thinking is sooooo hard. I feel so much better. I had a colonoscopy and I had a tear in my,,ummm,,bung hole that they had to "patch" up but tore some more and was a lil stubborn. Let's just say,,,everything is regular again. LOL I think the most humiliating thing about all this is my doctor (who is also our hospice medical director and younger than me) had asked me if my husband and I ever engaged in any kind of,,,ummm,,bung hole activities. Umm,,,,,N-O! I will never look at him the same ever again! Leave it to me to ripp my bung hole,,,,sigh...

[snakejones]

Wow, bad and fabulous, all in one post! Sounds like you were pretty anemic to need 2 units of PRBC's. Is that  blood loss all from this episode of bleeding, or could you have undiagnosed diverticulitis or ulcerative colitis and maybe have been slowly losing blood before the rectal bleeding? You'd be smart to see a GI doctor just to make sure, and maybe get some follow-up labwork to check your H&H.
Now on to the good part----wow, 100 days! I remember when you first came here, and how rough it was for you at first. But you persevered and tested your steel---and you did it. Best of all were your hilarious posts, like when the cat found a bunch of Percocets under the bed and you flushed them down the toilet, and then the cat drank toilet water and you saw partly-dissolved Percocet sludge at the bottom of the bowl and were all panicked about the cat getting high/sick/going to Kitty ER. In honor of the occasion, I'm gonna read some of those early posts of yours tonight. Congratulations and much love!

[Mangee]

Pessimism is a mistake and always will be. You have to think positive.
"I am in control and nothing will dismay me from looking forward instead of backwards." I am a winner and even if I fall a time or two I will eventually win out."  .....".Look out world here I come!"

This is what you need to be saying. The more you look ahead the stronger your legs will get to carry you through all and any dire circumstances. There are many winners here and more on the way. One of them should be you.

[lostmakeupgirl]

Hi kitty
I don't know you but I've been reading your posts it will be a good day for you 100 days is amazing! I'm only on 2 but its 2 in the right direction! Have a great 100th day if you were in tx I'd bake you a celebratory cake!

[Bkitty]

WoW!!! Tomm is 100days for me! Triple digits! I get my annual eval tomm from work,,Its gonna be a good day! I always feel like I am setting myself up for disappointment when I try to be optimistic,,I guess Im so used to being a pessimist its hard to believe I deserve a good day! Hopefully poo free all around!

[Bkitty]

Official diagnosis: Neurocardiogenic Syncope Syndrome. My fainting reflex or AKA vagal nerve is hypersensitive. It is activated with increased pain, valsalva manuever, or difficulty urinating. It also  is a sympton and is STRESS INDUCED!! I have been under a lot of stress. Solution: A beta blocker (metoprolol) and sorbitol. They did some weird head tilt test on me in the hospital and I passed out. I have stopped bleeding rectally and things have returned to normal. My H&H is stable and Im afebrile. Thank You all  so very much for your support. You all mean the world to me,,,I love you all to the moon and back! ~Bkitty

[bama88]

how are you feeling? hey remember not to eat to many fiber bars..remember what happened the last time you got into those and ate the box? ya got to moderate your fiber. hope your feeling better.

[Bkitty]

Im still stuck here,,,:(( still bleeding and passing clots but my H&H is stable finally and they hope that i should clear up in a few days,,here's hoping! I go home tomm if my H&H is stable.

[dominosarah]

How are you feeling today?

[dominosarah]

Curl up in your bajammies and sleep well~~

[rnangel]

I`m sorry you have to go through all this. Hope you heal quickly and get home soon!

[Bkitty]

I was able to take a nap uninterrupted,,I think the threats to the nurses finally worked. I am buying stock in stool softners from now on and fiber bars,,,sheesh! My H&H is creeping up,,thank God! Now time for The Bachelor,,my hubby brought me jammies and my pillows and favorite blankey and my fan. I cant sleep without the noise. Thankfully I am by myself in here. Just lonely.

[littlebit667]

Sweets that *****!  You get well and get out of there.  

[vicki595]

Poor little kitty...  I'm sorry for you but you need to be there and you need more fiber in your diet!    UGH!  Nurses!    LOL!  

Feel better and go post on the forum...it will distract you and help someone else.  

Miss you...

[dominosarah]

You are allowed your pity party for a minute but you are where you NEED to be.  I hear nurses are the worst patients!!  lol

Hope you get to feeling better and can get back home. Are you really up for a visit from "Lucifer"?!!