This is my 5th time trying to get clean! Well I should say first time I have ever put the leg work into it! And now I know without my higher power tjhis would not be possible and I'm just wondering if everyone else feels the same way? I am clean now for 35 days and it's the first time since I was 9 years old but I was also prescribed neurontin as well! And I believe it has a big part in me staying clean as well!
The higher power is subjective. You and you alone are the engine, the gas, and the driver. When you need a push you then go to the higher power or anything else that can give you the impulse and the power to carry on, and then it comes back to you to do the driving. No one and I mean no one can take you where you want to go. If you don't have the conviction, the will power and the inner strength to move ahead you will just sit in one spot with nowhere to go. Never take your foot off of the accelerator. If there are bumps and obstacles in the road slow down and carefully move around them, then back to full speed. Keep your eyes on the road and your mind on getting to the destination you have set for yourself. Don't let anything keep you from getting there. Once there you will find that it was well worth the trip.
I have been doing this now for two days and it is the easiest time I have ever had, and I was on two 60 mg morphine three xday, to ONE two times a day, usuallly I am in serious pain and crying like a baby through out the day. can't sleep. This time it is totally different, I started talking to God. I told him how these drugs have robbed me from several years and I want my life back now. I told him I was sorry for waisting these precious years where I could have been doing things to help others or even my family. I ask for help from His Angels. my guardian angels. any saints, relatives listening, the whole of Heavenly courts to send help. It would take this for me to get though this. I am not kidding. I was very serious and of course crying my eyes out. Then I just started living my life and began to keep my hands and mind busy, I started to bake some bread and cook my family a decent sunday meal. During this time, I began to realize how much I had changed taking these drugs. At first these drugs helped me deal with a handicapped daughter and a husband with cancer. but then afterwards I became a slave to them and I knew I put them before anybody....God included. I don't feel quilt, just relief that this part of my life is over.....I am anxious to begin to life my life now. To get out ot the house and not worry if i have enough pills to get mt through, or if I want to stay late....usually I worry i wont be able to be comfortalbe with out enough pills.
I am tired of them controling ME. Please think about these things and before you begin or while you are detoxing, tell Our Father that you won't put pills before your relationship with him any longer and then ask fo forvgivness. from the heart. See his miracles begin. I am in total awe that He has helped this ole drug addict.
My addiction began while I was working as a dealer in a casino. You cannot imagine how hard it was to talk and smile all the time to people who did not really care who you were. then to go home and take care of a very stressful homelife I would take pills. See the pattern. well, there came a time when they just did not work anymore. I knew i was hooked, addicted, I was so sad, but it did not stop me from doing them I needed the energy they allowed me, even if the "feelings" weren't there anymore of being high. So secretly i was an addict. no one knew about it. But my behavior changed so much it was hard not to deny it. I still did. But years have gone by and I am just so sick of the ups and downs of it all. I don't even know my self anymore. I am a talented painter and went to college to perfect my skills. But thoughout this drug ordeal. i have not even picked up a brush. I have been given all sorts of wonderful gifts to get me to start back, but these pills keep you from what is good ...they dictate your emotions, your health. I so look forward to getting back to my paints. I plan on asking God to help me with my creativity so I can begin again. I would like to teach art to very young children as it forms synaps for learning better. Our children are missing so much without art in their classes. Who knows what is going to happen. We'll see.
Take care all of you . Get off this ****. Get your God given life back and don't ever go back. Love to all
Congrats to everyone on their clean time. I would have to say so far in this thread I most agree with Mangee. My personal response would be no, not everyone uses a higher power. People are different so I say do whatever works for you!
for people who do not want a "spiritual program" they can turn to SMART, which is a recovery program that is outwardly agaisnt using the HP idea
i can say that i did not believe in god when i got clean, it took 2 yrs in recovery before i came to belive, and then i turned to my childhood religion and remembered that i do not have to be religious to be spiritual
i am proof that you do not have to believe in organized religion to get and stay clean, or to be spiritual
On day 4, bad wds. I was sitting in hot bath. I asked God to help me. I closed my eyes and just imagined starting at my toes, coming up my body and leaving my body thru my finger tips and it just felt so good. Day 4 or 5 was a HUGH turning point for me..I DO believe in a higher power.. 30 days clean tomorrow...and feeling GREAT.
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