For Parents... Highly Amusing

PARENT- Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this!   You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more..

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.


        
  **AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT   --  EVER!!!

[JENZ_N_RECOVERY]

i love it!! being a new mom of a REALLY entergetic boy......i THINK and that was a big think.....IM READY for all of this!!! lmao!!!
thats too cute!!
JENZ

[alienshadow]

Wished I would of seen this add before I had kids lmao

[laurel453]

hahahahahahahah

[cobragal78]

That  was the best~~~

[bubbles1096]

Love it. I experienced the woes of being a mother of 3 children this weekend and let me tell ya, after the weekend I had with them, I need another week to recoup!

If it could go wrong this weekend, it did, but the best thing last night was when my oldest daughter who is  a"tween" came into my bedroom last night and told me that she's so happy mom is doing such a good job and if she could sleep with me, so I let her of course. She's had it real tough this year as I am trying very hard to raise her in a more traditional way than what the parents are doing around here, the majoriy of girls in her school have cell phones, they text, wear the name brand clothes and are constantly recycling thier clothes with new ones, have virtually no rules or curfew, so she feels left out but I dont' want my middle school aged child to act like she's 17! So far so good!

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Nice post ----- cute........And in spite of job description and reality I still feel the parents that dont parent are the ones that are missing out on something..................

[owhatamistake]

LOL!  This is great and I'm going to think twice about doing this again..... in my next life. LOL  I've got to copy and send this to my husband.

Thanks for the post!