Hey There Friends - Update on Life in Recovery. . .

[CollyDog]

Well, it's been more than a short while since I've posted guys.  For that, I am sorry ~ I have continued to read and keep a track on you guys though and so know that all the people who supported me so much, when I first came to the Forum, are still doing so well and hanging in there!  I do think about you guys all the time (you know who you are too)!!

Mainly, I wanted to post so I could share some of the wonderful positivity I have going on in my life as a result of now being clean from the pills for a few days shy of two whole months!!  Wow, it's actually hard to believe that I've been away from my DOC's for that long. . .but, yet on the other hand, now it seems almost surreal that I was so addicted to them in the first place (go figure)!!  Of course, I am an addict and will be to the day I die, but fortunately for me, I am now pleased to say that I am an addict in recovery (God, I love being able to say that) and 'today' don't have any desire whatsoever to use!  My life has done a complete and utter 180 in the two short months since I made the decision to quit the pills and regain my life.  Most of you will remember that I got pregnant during heavy pill use and was scared to death that I had damaged my baby too.  I am now almost 20 weeks pregnant and am blessed to have learned that "she" (yes, it's a girl) is perfectly fine (so far, so good) and so is her Momma at this stage!!  Mind you, I do feel like a small whale!!

The point of this post is to really try and encourage all you guys in various stages of recovery ~ if you want sobriety bad enough; then you really can make it.  My life seems so full right now and I enjoy everything about it.  From the very simple things like walking my dogs to the big things, like being pregnant.  Some days, I even thank God just that I am alive and in this fortunate position of recovery.  I draw most of my strength from being able to look back at where I was a few short months ago and know that I simply had the "desire" to quit the pills so badly and to me it was worth going thru hell for ~ I did go through hell (and then some) and withdrawals for me were horrific, long and painful (not to mention the mental side of our addiction i.e. the dreaded cravings).  I didn't begin to feel physically well for about four weeks.  Today, I can look back at where I was and know, deep inside me, that I will never allow myself to go back there.  Yes, it's one of the hardest things in the world to do, getting off these terrible pills, but once the decision is really made, then begins the journey.  I spend at least a small part of every day remembering where I came from and how I got here, but I try not to stare too deeply.  I always want to remember what I put myself through to get here, mainly so it reminds me to never to go back down that path.  Or put it this way, I will die trying not to go back down that path!!

I guess all I am trying to say is that life in recovery is wonderful and exciting and fun and happy and I just love the fact that I have a personality, I laugh, I smile so much, I sing to country music. . .quite simply guys:  I live instead of merely existing!!  If I can do this; then anyone can do this - it is so worth it and I encourage everyone who reads this to grab the bull by the horns and hold on for the ride of your lives.  I promise you wholeheartedly, you'll never want to get off this ride. . .life can be so awesome and for me, it really is special!!

Love to all who know me and hugs too.  You guys, the ones who know me, are in my thoughts and prayers always.
Vicky xxxxx

[debsally]

I posted the update on Day 1 cold turkey on Soma.

Thanks so much, we are hanging in there.

love,

Debs

[CollyDog]

Hey there dear Cathy

My life does feel blessed girl and yes, I am feeling as good as I sound.  I've been keeping up with you by reading your posts and I am so thrilled for you that you'll be able to see your Son's ship come in.  What a wonderful day that will be for you sweetie and those kinds of memories, of my own husband coming home from active duty, just make my skin go bumpy.  There's nothing in this world like the feeling of a loved one coming home ~ strangely, that's kind of how I feel about recovery.  I feel like I came back home to myself (if that makes any sense whatsover?).

You keep on hanging in there sweetie
Love and Hugs
Vic xxx

[CollyDog]

It's good to hear from you again lady - how are things going with you?  You are so right too girl, when you are on the brink of losing everything and then you regain clarity over your life, it's like night to day.  I don't ever remember feeling this good prior to using the pills and I don't ever remember being so grateful for something as I am my sobriety.  I can't help but think that if I'd not found this Forum, nor continuously read and re-read the posts, I may have picked up again on Day 7.  I thank God that I didn't and now it seems like light years since I even thought about using.  Of course, this little bump I am carrying around also gives me super-human strength too.

You take care girl.  By the way, have your heard from Dimboy recently?  I mailed him and never did hear back?

Hugs
Vicky xx

[CollyDog]

How did the remainder of Day 1 go for your partner honey?  I have been keeping up with your posts and you are surely one amazing lady.  I wish everyone who had to fight the disease of addiction had someone like you fighting in their corner - you're one a million lady.  How is Day 2 going so far?

I hope my story can give your partner the hope she so desperately needs right now.  Being clean is just so worth it Deb and even though it sucks to get here, it can be done!  Each day, I just got stronger and stronger and stronger.  I actually had to look at the calendar when I posted yesterday just to check how long I had been clean.  I have a feeling that you guys will be a "success story" too and I will keep you both in my prayers.

The best part of getting clean is just living - when I was using, the best I ever did was survive or exist.  Living us so much better and it seems like that lady of yours has a lot to live for and a wonderful, bright future ahead of her.

Hugs dear lady
Vicky xx

[lonote]

Well, you are Blessed. and obviously God's watching over you and has this very special plan for you.
He works in mysterious ways. I hope your feeling as good as you sound, no morning sickness and stuff, And I just thought  I'd say hello to you. You are such an inspiration..I'm doing well. Saving up for a trip to Norflk to see my son come off that ship. Theres going to be a heck of a celebration at hat pier when that ship comes rolling in, And I saved enuf to make it happen for me. I'm on cloud nine.   I know you are too. Stay there. Its very becoming of you, and you are glowing from there to here.  Be well, and healthy.   Love Cathy

[tzt2lady]

Congrats on your clean time and upon learning of your lil daughter.   My first was a girl too and its sooo exciting!   It is nice to see you post again and it is so thoughtful of you to come back and share how being clean is working out for you..............it really helps those who are new or are struggling.  There reallyis life after drugs and sometimes it is those of us who were on the brink of losing our lives who appreciate the gift of life the most.

take good care and keep in touch
tzt

[debsally]

Thank you for sharing your story.  I am sending it to my partner who is on day 1 and really unhappy.  Your story made me cry and I feel the victory in you.  I am so, so happy for you and congrats on your baby girl.  

Thank you again for sharing your wonderful story.  Congrats!!!

Debbie

[gmdd]

congratulations! be well
gina

[CollyDog]

I am on my way out of the door right now Mother. . .but just felt compelled to post before I do leave.  I sometimes forget how very, very much this Forum helped me, in so many special ways and I kinda feel like I abandoned it when I got myself together.  I didn't intend for that to happen and hopefully, I can spend more time posting and reading and helping myself stay clean in the process.

Love ya girl and will speak to you tomorrow.  Speaking of resting, weren't you supposed to be doing the same????   Hhhhhmmmm - one rule for you and another for me, right?  Hugs girl xx

[IBKleen]

Hi Sweetie!

It is so nice to see back. You have a lot to give lady.

Now, for the lecture. You are supposed to be home and resting. OK, I'm done..LOL

Hope to see you post more often.

Hugs..........