Higher Power of our own Understanding

What do you see when you turn out the lights?  I can't tell you but I know that it's mine.    I think being able to pick a God that coinsides with our beliefs and values is so very important to recovery.   I hear someone in NA talking about reading the bible when he was eight years old and being conflicted because he read about two different God's.  One was loving, compassionate, and the other was condemning and unforgiving.  His sponsor told him to pick one.  He chose the loving, caring God.  Later on he learned to accept the unforgiving, condemnation part of the bible, because he related it to parenthood.  We all love our kids more than our life, but sometimes, we get so angry we want to pinch their little heads off.  He said he could picture God up there with the same feellings.  I still use the God from my child-hood.  I choose to not listen to fire and brimstone, or to read about it.  To tell the truth, I don't really buy the concept of heaven and hell that the bible tells us about.  I think of them more as transcendant metaphysical states of being that cannot be grasped by the ordinary human mind.  I don't think our brains, or minds go to this place, but rather our energy or soul.  I also am intrigued by the idea of reincarnation.  I felt bad because I could not believe in certain  biblical theories, I felt condemned, and as a result I wandered away from Christianity.  That is until the times when I needed God.  I'm not talking about some concept of a higher self either.  I'm talking about God, the father of Jesus, and the creator of Life.  I know I don't understand everything about him, but today I'm learning to accept that.  I'm not a genius or a scholoar, who am I to question him?  I don't understand electricity either, but I have faith that if I paid my bill, and I flip the switch the lights will come on.  I guess my faith grew cos I've hit the switch 1000's of times.  We'll I pray every day for my faith to grow, and hopefully by hitting my knees every morning and remember the times he gave me courage and guidance, or stopped me from doing the wrong thing, my faith in him will grow exponentially also.  I don't have to understand to believe.. To tell the truth I don't even think I could.  I've had some miracles happen in my life, and I choose to give credit to God even tho, I could probably explain them away by coincidence.  But what good would that do me?  Take a look at how happy people are that have  a reletionship with God.. The look of serenity in their eyes is  proof enough for me.  

[lonote]

What does all this religous stuff got to do with addiction?  When people start to go into the religous stuff on here I find it makes me
uncomfortable. You talk about whatever you want, but thats just my opinion.            lonote

[jenny8575309]

Wow I'm glad you asked, what does Religion have to do with Addiction.  Good question.  I'm not an expert by any means, but I am an addict.  One of the most successful programs in treating drug addicition and alcholism (alcoholism) is a twelve step program like AA and NA have to offer.  While 'religion' may not have anything at all to do with recovery (sometimes it does)  spritually is a HUGE part of both AA and NA.  There are constant references to a higher power.  I have come to believe that only complete surrender to my higher power, whom I CHOOSE to call God can free me from addiction.  My higher power gives me strength, courage, knowledge from right and wrong, and serenity.  All of these things help me to be ok with the way Jennifer feels today, and keeps me from running away from my past, and trying to change the way I feel.  Please feel free not to read any of my post that make you uncomfortable, because I sure don't want to do that.  

[lonote]

My higher power is also the main man God. I like when you talk of feelings, and treatment, just the in depth stuff made me a little up tight.  I don't have a prob with you at all and will continue to read your stuff. You wrote something who adiction (addiction) is and what he does to your soul and spirit and life last week. I thought it was incretable.

[jenny8575309]

Thank-you lonote.  I appreciate your compliments.  I feel like I need to ask tho.  What is it about talking about God that makes you uptight?  you don't have to answer if you don't want to, or if you'd rather, you can PM me.

[cathy5841]

i love all your  post, you are so real...you keep me encouraged to keep on keepin on.  thank you!
cathy

[GoingToMakeIt]

Wow. God can be a huge part of the recovery.
You posted this in the general social forum where even MedHelp says: If you are interested in general "chat", please visit our Addiction Social Community. Good job.
Happy Holidays to all.

[lonote]

No I don't mind you asking me that. What makes me uncomfortable?
Hummmmm? I don't pick up the bible and read it, in fact I don't know a whole lot about it. And when it gets heavy like  things like redemption. reincarnation, I just don't know much about. I grew up and  well heck, i'm not Christian. I'm of Jewish faith and we share different beliefs. I'm not very religious, but I do believe in God. And when my Christian friends talk of their beliefs, I can respect that. And their believe in Christ and how he died for our sins, I beleive that, although most Jews don't, I can respect. Because I ditched most of Sunday school, and don't even know the whole deal of our version of the bible, I'm embarrassed,I'm not real into it, and thats what makes me a bit uncomfortable. Prob my own ignorance. I'm really sorry Jenny , I should have not said anything and just let you express yourself. My real names Cathy also

[lonote]

I know God it a huge part of recovery, I believe when they speak of a higher power for me its God also. When the talk get too heavy, I just get a little uptight. Yes this is the social side, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like that , when the talks get too religious I'm sure others get uncomfortable also. I've been around a long time and religious talk  hasn't come up often. Because sooner or later its bound to offend someone.

[uvlvrebel]

I'm in agreement 100%. but like you said this side is for discussion of anything, no holds bar.  so quite similarly we can break out in anti-religous discussion, right?  same rules should apply..  I too find it difficult to read through some of these bible thumping posts; but, one thing it's gotten me back in touch with is the anger emotion that i had previously numbed with narcotics.  so in that respect I'm thankful for all the religious freakin nuts on the board.

[lonote]

Its says at the top over on this side we talk about day to day issues and topics. Turn it into a bible thumping topic for a steady diet woulden't be to cool. This is an addiction forum. Not a religious forum. They turned this into a community forum last year because a
large group of people became friends told a couple jokes and and some personal chit chat, thats why they created social side. Turn this into a place where religion or politics is discussed, well they say never discus religion or politics or you will have a bunch of people disagreeing. so, i'm not so sure about no holds bar. All it takes is a couple complaints to med help and they have been known to step in or deliete things or check people they feel the discussions to be inappropriate or that will start conflict. In my opinion alot of religious talk would be borderline on starting conflict. I woulden't like to see it out here for a steady diet. I am intitled to my opinion.

[natalile]

Ask me about god & i run a mile. But i have realised in time & in recovery i do belive in a higher devine, More spiritual, meditate, Alternative therapy's ect. I no those have nothing to do with god. But it's those kinda thing's that get me through.
It's probably down to my own brick wall i ahve around me that i won't exepet religio into my life. But it is slowly crumbeling the more i get clean, Coz boy someone has to be guliding me, Helping me fight those demon's of addiction. That's about as far as i look at reigion, God & bad, My recovery is good it make's me stronger. Then when the addict in my creep's in that's where the good come's in. Some thing help's me beat it, Beat those craving's & tell's me today is going to be better. If there wasn't i probabaly wouldn't of made it this far on my own
Peace nat.
I no i chat rubbish at time's lol.

[tzt2lady]

Just remember that 12 step programs do not require one to believe in the bible.   Any power greater than yourself will do.  Thats what makes me a little uptight about all the God stuff.  Sometimes people have had bad experiences with religion, which is where they learned what God is.   When I went to a program years ago my sponsor just said that my higher power, whatever he,she, it is, needs to be loving caring and all powerful.
I couldnt do religion and if recovery meant God-like religion I wouldnt have stayed clean all those years.   I had to rebuild a relationship with the God(ess) of my understanding.   Sounds crazy but it worked.
I get where lonote is coming from.  This isn't an NA forum so all the 12 step stuff is just info, not dogma.  There are plenty of 12 step sites for that.
Natalie - meditation and alternative therapies, in my opinion have everything to do with God.  You are on the right track. The act of one religion debunking the beliefs of another is how wars are started.  Yours is awesome.
If anyone has a problem with higher powers, well, guess what?   We all have already tangled with one----our addiction.  It sure did make me do things I otherwise wouldnt have chosen to do.

Anyway, to each his/her own.  All this is just my opinion and I dont mean to take away from what anyone is saying cuz to me its all good.

[anotherfinemess1]

I don't get the whole premise of religion:  one day someone took a bite of an apple, aquired KNOWLEDGE, and now there is an entire religion  based on REGRETTING this move?  Religion requires surrendering our free will, believing that we, alone, cannot make sound judgements, and believing not in ourselves, but in some omnipresent, all-seeing, superior being.
And this being is in the sweet position of only getting credit for the good stuff-- all the bad stuff is OUR fault.
Man, I would love to believe there is someone looking over me, guiding me, looking out for me, but I got news for you---  we're on our own here, so we better get our **** together.  This is not a dress rehearsal for some afterlife, THIS is IT-- so we'd best stop relying on some "holy ghost",and start rescuing ourselves.  What we need is to be empowered, to feel strong, to trust ourselves to make sound judgements, and to follow through. Why wait for some "higher being" whose very existent is dubious--- when you have everything you need within you.  You are stronger than you know (stronger than they would have you believe).  Now gather it up and put it to work.  You're wasting time if you're waiting for God (or Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny) to do it for you. So there!

[anotherfinemess1]

sorry, I can't seem to behave myself lately-- it's in my mind, it comes out my mouth.  No control, lol!

[natalile]

Thank's hun
Iwas starting to feel all pn my owu lol. I have the same look at is as you do. God per_say sacre's the **** out of me. But i no there is a higher power for me. Mabey i just have to look abit deeper into myself & that's the scarey bit. But to recover i will have to at some point
I loved your post thank's it's up liffted me hun Peace nat xxx