**How bout this Question***

Ok if you  were having a child, and you found out that the child would be born, blind, deaf, quadriplegic, but would never have to sustain any kind of life support.......would you keep the baby???  Ouch!  thats rough, but I am really curious to anyone's response.........

Nauty...............

[GoingToMakeIt]

Yes, but it hurt just typing the answer.

[sadinmichigan]

yes..I would keep the baby too...after all..the baby would still be mine just the way God made him/her..

[NautyOne]

I guess i am the horrible one........I wouldn't.  As someone put so well .....having children is a selfish act.  I would not want to put another human life through a  "no quality" life for my own selfishness......ugh.  I don't like this question.  

nauty

[joann1975]

Just because someone is blind or deaf...doesn't mean the have "no quality" of life. Yes, I would have my baby. That's a tough one Nauty. However, I am of the belief that God never gives us more than we can handle.

[Mikeinthesouth]

As long as that child has a soul it deserves to have a shot at life..... Mike Thats my serious answer......

[NautyOne]

Ok, ya'll make me feel like Chiat !!!  and, I do.......but I stand by my feelings.  Ino, who's gonna be the first to call me the selfish one?.....

Nauty

[VicUser]

Hands down, I would keep the child.

[Mikeinthesouth]

not selfish naughty just honest a quality many need.....

[mimi1313]

That is really difficult, having worked with mentally and pahycially challenged adults, I would have to lean towards no as well. I know it does sound cold, my reasoning is that you are most likely not going to outlive your child and I've seen so many parents stress over this. Who will care for them when you are gone. The care they would get in a nursing home wouldn't be adequate most likely. Plus, its not like when they are 18 they leave. its a lifetime commitment and I've seen alot of parents get so frustrated and cry because they are exhausted from being 24 hour a day caretakers. And then they feel so much guilt.

[Savas]

No, I would not.

[Mikeinthesouth]

I am thinking if they had asked my Mother what to do and they told her I would be an addict I might me toast and you guys would not have me round to get annoyed with..... LOL.......... Seriously I can see both points of view here and agree it is not an easy decision. My brother and his wife were faced with that as they had not had any luck having kids so she went to many doctors my brother having surgery as well trying to correst any problem that might hinder them in this way and she became pregnant for three lil ones. The doctor says she has to many and the third might harm their chance of survival and to shoose to chance all three or to say go for "selective reduction"...... Well needless to say my brother was distraught and I am sure his wife was as well I never spoke to her regarding this well they had not decided when she lost one by natures way of reduction and today they have two healthy lil twin girls and one of them reminds me so much of my sister it is unreal........

[Mikeinthesouth]

They are my only two God Children....

[sadinmichigan]

people with disabilities no matter how sever touch the lives of many..They are special..and often soften hardened hearts..and the people that care for them are a special kind as well..and Nauty..I do not think your selfish either or look down on your answer at all..I mean that..you are an honest lady and thats what i love about you..Don't change♥♥

[Chi_Chi_Lover]

No!!! I'm pro-choice

[flmagi]

No, I'm to old and grouchy for any kind of babies.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

If anyone doesnt think that challenged individuals are making positive contributions to our society I might submit Stephen Hawkins as an example........

[avisg]

No I would would not ... I would consider the child's quality of life .

[allaboutmary]

I'm with you Nauty. I just couldn't do it . I'm not that good of a person.

[mrwjd]

Neither would I.  

[10356]

No I don't think I would.

[Rose703]

I would have the baby!! It would be a long hard road but I would have it.

[joann1975]

Ok...after looking at some of the points of view especially MiMi and thinking of my niece and nephew on my husbands side and seeing the struggles my brother in law has.... and the fact that none of can handle his 2 kids to keep them (he doesn't work with them just lets them run WILD) I am thinking I may have to rethink the answer......I would just have to wait until I was in those shoes...or maternity clothes I should say....

Nauty...don't feel like chiat....I think thought provoking questions are awesome and you are good at them!

[newgirl2708]

I admire honesty.

I would keep the child.

Like sight and hearing, touch is another sense. Close your eyes, don't talk and have someone touch you. Yep, I think I feel the love.

I'm very much like that child.
I don't see things clearly.
I only hear what I want.
And I don't move as much as I should.

[NautyOne]

Awesome Post.  When I read it.....it gave me those weird little goose bumps.  Some powerful stuff, behind so few words..........thanks.

nauty......

[Mikeinthesouth]

Wow Newgirlie thats awesome stuff. I like it deep but I like it. Funny how we can get to know one another and not have a clue their what their faces look like  we can know someone and their thoughts feelings their spirit and soul. Good post.....

[Mikeinthesouth]

I can actually imagine what personalities each of you guys have and so far I am by far not dissappointed in the least and can only hope you guys have an inkling of that opinion about me because if you do that lil bit is large.......

[toxictome]

I would have to say no. Working in the mediacl field, I have seen so many things. As far as being born that way, there would be no quality of life. For someone who is 20, say, and then something happens... I think that's different, because they have already experienced things and knew wha tquality of life was like.. I have  a nephew who is 30., and 5 yrs. ago he  had a diving accident, broke his neck and is now a quadriplegic. After 2 yrs., his wife left him. He drives a special van, he lives alone(he has help) and he goes to college.He was a carpenter by trade, and obviously can't do that anymore. He is one of the most courageous people I know. I told him our bodies are just the vehicle we travel our life in. At death, his soul will leave his body...so I look at him as still whole. It's really a case by case situation....and I suppose no one really knows until they are faced with the situation. Good thought provoking post!!!

[troubleinohio]

i would keep it no matter what. Im not even a religious person either so that has nothing to do with my answer. I would love my child no matter what.  When i was pregnant with my second child, we found out he had a potentially serious heart defect. I was horrified and scared to death. Thankfully it turned out to be benign and he needed no surgery or treatment and he is a healthy 3 year old now who keeps up with his 5 year old brother.  

[4afriend]

Wow, tough question!  Not sure where it stems from and I haven't been exactly in that place.  But I did have similar circumstances.  Pregnant with twins.  We believed I was close to 9 months at the time and went into labor.  Went to the hosp and they stopped the contractions and stayed their for a couple of days and filled up with lots of fluid from the IV's.  The sent me home and the following day I bled out with clots everywhere.  Went to the ER immediately and they said all was fine with the babies and that I had to wait on the c section room cause it was busy, so we waited and then then began my nightmare...to  condence a long story my daughter came out not breathing they began CPR and say they were able to get a hearbeat and intubated her.  My husband was exstatic and I was sick.  She was not breathing for 13 minutes at least (thats how long they worked on her once they had her out)  I reminded my husband of that fact.  We both are in the medical field and knew the possibilities.  She had uncontrollable seizures, brought on by movement, light, just about anything.  She had no kidney function at all.  And severe to profound brain damage.  They said she would know no one, and very doubtful she would even know herself.  Tubes and machines would all be used to maintain her so called life.  My husband and I chose to stop the life support.  That was the most difficult decision I have ever made but if I knew I wouldn't want that for my life, how could I want for my child?  She was so beautiful and didn't look ill except for the tubes and the seizes.  I cry as I type this and its been 12 years ago. My Katie would have been grown to be a blue eyed blonde with curls and I know this because after 3 weeks of fright her sister pulled through and yes they were identical twins.  My gramps told me 4 years after that occured that he really understood my decision even through the rest of the moms in my family didn't...and no they have never said it to my face so I was a bit floored to know they think I was bad by doing it.  I guess they think I was selfish, but please all of you know this...its something no one can understand unless your the one dealing with it and it's that persons decision that that person has to live with forever battling,,, was I wrong, was I right, did they tell me everything?? And yes, you life with that inter termoil for all your remaining days...Don't think not having the child is a easy way out for I tell you it is not...

[4afriend]

btw forgot to mention, I hope this was just one of those questions that get popped out there for some thought.  Meaning, I hope that you or no one you know is having to face that type of decision.  I'm a quiet lurker here I guess, but have seen many of your posts and must say to you that i think you have a great sense of humor...and I love your "name" lol.  Best wishes to you

[Mangee]

This is the type of question that is extremely hard to answer. We have all knds of answers until it happens to us and that puts us between a rock and a hard place. We can say yes or no or whatever but until it happens we can never know how we will react. I remember a young boy that a friend of mine used to pull around in a wagon. This was over 65 yeas ago. Back then if a person had cerebral palsy or anything smilar it was considered that the person was mentally deficient. Nobody in the medical field knew enough to say that there was nothing wrong with the brain. Harry W. who cared for his brother Benjamin W. knew in his heart that there was more to Benjamin than a body racked with a terrible disease and took Ben wherever he went,yet the rest of his family felt ashamed of him. So what it comes down to is the individual who has to deal with the problem and which way they will eventually lean. So, until it happens and you see that little face I don't think we can truly say ow we will react.

[NautyOne]

I don't have any children,  but, 4friend.  My sister-in-law went through something very similar, not twins, but she delivered her child at 23 weeks, amazing the child weighed 6 something pounds......big baby, but the organs underdeveloped, so, they basically did the same things they did for your baby.  Juliana Rose died after 3 days, she also went for  very long time without breathing, doctors were not really sure how long.....but, brain damage, underdeveloped kidneys, and heart took her life.  I don't feel wrong for feeling relieved that this child did not make it.  Her quality of life would have been Nothing, and I wouldn't want that for anyone, or child in the world we live in today, God forbid the future.  

mangee......I think I can say 100% that I would not want my child to live like that.  I think I can, but I understand what you are saying.......

nauty.........

[scaredmom330]

my daughter at a young age of 19, happly married, pregnant with her first child found out he had a birth defect, in his little heart. Her options, was to take him home and keep him comfortable, they said he might live 5 days, open heart surgery, or putting him on the transplant list, which most likly he wouldnt live long enough. She opted for open heart surgery. So the day came, they arranged her deliever so there  would be as little stress on the baby, he was born, as a grandmother and this being my first grandbaby, he was the  most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Her husband and I got to see the baby, he was perfect, almost 9 pounds but he had scar tissue and the left side of his heart didnt grown as much as the right. My daughter didnt get to see him immediately, he went to the childrens hosptial, my daughter walked across the street 4 hours later to see Kyle for the first time. At 1 day old he had open heart surgery, His kidneys never recoved from the surgery which is normal for babies. He lived 27 days, never to leave the hosptial. I being her mother hurt more than I ever that I could, I was not only watching my first born lose her first born and there was nothing I could do.  I am happy to say, she went on to have 2 other children with no health problems. SO yes after going through what we went through, I would keep the baby.

[scaredmom330]

I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, he said. For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he's dead. It may be six or seven years, or twenty two or three. but will you till I call him back take care of him for me? He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief, you'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief. I cannot promise he will stay since all from earth return,But there are lesons taught down there I was this child to learn. I've looked the wide world over in search for teachers true and from the large groups that crowd life's lanes I have selected you. Now will you give him all you love,nor think the labor vain, nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again? I fancied that I heard them say: Dear Lord Thy will be done. for all the joy they child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run. we'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may, and for happiness we've known forever grateful stay: but shall the angels call for him much sooner than we've planned, We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand..   I don't know why wrote this, I friend sent it to me when Kyle passed.

[4afriend]

Nauty - Very sorry to hear of your sister in law's loss.  It's a very difficult thing to go through that's for sure...very hard for everyone involved.  I know my extended family also had a very difficult time understanding and dealing with that type of loss...

Scared mom - that was a beautiful piece...very glad that you shared that, even now things such as that help give a little bit of peace and comfort.

I heard a saying..."experience is, what you get....when you don't get what you want"  Well, I find that I'm very "experienced" in lots of ways...lol.  But that saying is quite true, no matter what you may be dealing with.  I have learned to appreciate things in a whole new light after going thru my experience...

[uglyfish]

to personal, that ? is harsh.

[gg222]

No I would not...the child would not have a real life and be able to experience life and would ultimately not have a mind b/c if the child is blind and deaf how would he/she be able to think...you cannot think without words or without sight to learn ...you would just be "there" in the physical but not in the mental....it would be selfish on my part to put a child through something like that I don't think it's fair.