I am a Police Officer

My story is this..got hurt chasing a drug addict..which in hindsight cracks me up. I needed two surgerys and became DEPENDENT on pain pills. I told my surguen I was addicted, I was in tears and he laughed at me. I asked him for xanax or anything because the anxiety was killing me, he said nope your not trading one addiction for another. He put me on a kick *** easy as pie taper program. I did the taper with zero problems and am 40 days clean.

I want to give back to the community that has helped me through a hard time in my life. This sounds stupid while I was tapering I was full of hate of myself. I would get scared and angry when I saw a commercial for the cleaner and intervention. I would read posts here that scared the **** out of me. In hindsight that was awesome. I now read and contribute...dont hate me, i am just doing whats best for me..but I read your storys and it makes me feel better I didnt let this happen to me and it inspires me to NEVER put myself in this predictiment again. I also at this second am watching intervention, and just finished watching the cleaner..same reason.

I am a cop..I know the laws and can help with any cop questions.

Let me answer the top two before you smart ***** ask them! lol

Cops love donuts..dont you! Okay seriously how the cop and donut thing came about..donut shops use to be open 24/7 and the  midnight guys would hang out there because donuts are full of carbs and along with the coffee would keep them awake and full of energy.

Cops are Pigs..my favorite..the truth behind it. Okay the first organized police dept was in new york, there batons were made of pig skin. when people were rioting or being bad..the cops would beat them with there batons..so when the cops were coming, people would scream here comes the pigs in reference to there about to get hit with the batons. So when someone calls me a pig..I laugh..your basically telling me im about to whoop your ***!

Seriously, I am a good honest and caring pig..i mean cop. I never arrested anyone,people arrest themselves. I never used excessive force..but once..I kept getting called to a guys house who beat his 6 yr old..I locked him up twice..I told him from now on..he hits her..i hit him. He hit her again..I threw him down the steps, and he resisted still and I hit him over and over again.I then told him the next time he hurts her I would kill him. He never hurt her again..If he does I will kill him.

I love to help people, my brain is wired that way. I will gladly give my life to protect someone. Im not racist..idiots come in all colors..I just happen to be a white cop in the black hood. I spend alot of time hanging on the corner talking to the corner boys. I  am trying to teach them young, but am losing the battle because there parents wont help. I have no fear of any man..other than myself and making poor choices, that will ruin my life.

You all are good people, dont hate yourself like I did..or maybe you should, maybe thats what really helped me..dont know.

I am ready to give back to this community, so ask away.

[sweetieneedshelp]

so u didn't have any withdrawls? How exactly did u taper?

[movienut]

This is how I did it..and no withdraws..zip..zero. But I was dependent, not really addcted.

Hi, I quit a 120 mg a day of oxycotin/oxycodone 10 months use without even a tremor. And NO depression afterwards. Here is what I did. No excuses it will work if YOU want it to.

I had two surgerys and my doctor put me on the oxy's and after 10 months I stopped taking them...big mistake I got really sick and relized I was addicted to pain pills. I freaked out and panicked I even cryed to my parents and I am 36.I was calling rehabs and everything... I hated myself for becoming addicted and thoughts of suicide danced through my head. I was watching a show on the discovery channel about obese people and they said something that snapped me out of it.

When you eat alot your stomach stretches requiring you to eat more to be full. If you dont eat as much your stomach will shrink thus requiring less food to feel full.  Same principal with drugs eventually your body builds a tolerence requiring more..if you take less your tolerence will get lower.

When I first relized I was addicted I found these forums and they didnt help at all, other then making me more afraid by reading others storys. Lets get this straight YOU ARE ALONE with this. People can give advice and support but YOU have to go through the pain, YOU have to quit for YOU.

I hated myself as you probably do, but we made a mistake and thats okay. Its what we do to fix are mistakes that determines who we are.

I saw my Doctor and told him everything "Doctors are afraid of there patients who became addicted from the pills they prescribed." I told him I want to wean off and he said cool and gave me to 80 count bottles of Oxy's and a new prescription every two weeks. He never questioned me, he knew I was weaning. So tell your doctor in tears like I did, if you have to he can help.

Here is what I did, I was at 120. So I looked at a  clock as 4, 6 hour quarters. WHERE YOU START AT IS WHERE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE.

DO NOT TAKE ANY OTHER PILLS, DONT TRADE ADDICTION TO ONE FOR ANOTHER.

Every 6 hours I took 20 mg. For 7 days So I was at 80mg a day. (big cut felt a LITTLE crappy for 4 days but no big deal)

Next 7 days 20 mg every 7 hours.

Keeps going up an hour every 7 days until you hit 12 hours.

Congrats your only taking 40mg a day! (depending where you started) Easy huh!!!

Now look at the clock as two 12 hour halves. No more hours we cut pills now. Take one dose..do not spread the 15mg through the 12 hours!

Okay now take away 1 pill every 12 hours. So 15 mgs every 12 hours.

Next 7 days take 10mg every 12 hours.

next 7 take 5mg very 12 hours.

Guess what your only taking 10mg a day! And your not even sick woohoo!

Okay now take 5mg in the morning or once every 24 hours.

Almost drug free baby!

So your now on 5mg a day. If you can cut pill in half. And take half a pill once every 24 hours.

Okay I did this for only two days and just decided to see what would happen if I just stopped completely. day 1 nothing,day 2 nothing,day 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 ummm hello NO withdraws and NO depression. Not even a craving..

Day 10 was a beautiful day, I dont know why I waited 10 days to have my toliet celebration..I guess I was shocked I figured even after a half a pill going cold turkey will be a little rough..but not even a tremor and slept like a baby.

My toliet celebration. I had 5 full bottles 80 count oxy". Dumped them in the toliet pissed on them and flushed.

one month later no cravings, no depression never had any of that anyway. I still am mad at myself for allowing this to happen to me..but I am proud of myself for doing the right thing and not letting this ruin my life. I did the right thing for myself.

Its okay you have an addiction, its no big deal. RELAX the fear is your worse enemy. Look ahead at your future. No excuses, do what I did and laugh at yourself like I did for being afraid of nothing.



Some may not agree with what I wrote but I swear it work, and I never got sick. Some people cant wean they say im addicted and if I have pills im going to take them. Well thats fine, the world needs drug addicts..clinics,hospitals,rehabs,medics,cops would be unemployed without you. But for those who have the courage to do this, invite me to your toliet celebaration I will drink lots of water.

[peaceinknowing]

Thanks for this posting, as I'm sure this will help everyone here who's looking to research into a tapering program to avoid as many of the WD symptons as they possibly can. I keep reading posts here, even though I'm 15 [and a half -- haha] days sober from Percocet, and I'm still amazed at the number of people on here who continue to state how their PCP or other doctor[s] were willing to be there for them through this entire experience. My PCP literally ran in the other direction the second I informed him that I felt like I had become dependant AND addicted to the pain pills HE was prescribing to me every other week. Don't get me wrong, because I take full responsibility for putting the pills into my mouth AS PRESCRIBED... But I still think that a lot of the people here who had a tapering plan were very lucky. My WDs weren't as bad as I've read about here on the forums, and they weren't as bad as a lot of the members told me they might be, and for that I'm extremely grateful.

Maybe it has something to do with the difference in states.

[candothis247]

Hi there – Just for the record,  I’m not a cop hater, my neighbor is a cop and a great guy, and I like him a lot and I’m glad he’s my neighbor.

Question: I have always wondered during a drug bust, such as a narcotic’s raid type thing, are the narcs & opiates confiscated and brought to the station for evidence? And are they closely monitored as far as the amount found, are they recorded, and locked up? I have always heard of crooked cops and staff helping themselves to the narcs brought in after a drug raid. Have you ever heard this?  Do you believe this could ever happen?

Take for example those hefty bags that were hauled out of Michael Jackson’s house after his drug overdose, and subsequent death, where to those drugs go. I’m would imagine since that is such a public sensation, that that type of corruptness wouldn’t occur in that situation, but who knows...... what do you think?
ThanQ
Penny

[candothis247]

P. S. A big congrats on your 40 days clean. Do you feel normal yet. I have 19 days clean of perscription oxys and today is the 1st day i felt great, however, i dont expect it to last, i believe it will go good and bad for a while.

[toejam_muncher]

being a cop...it must be hugely beneficial to have experienced this. i don't say that lightly...it very easily could have gone the other way and destroyed your life. but the point is that in your profession...it can be 'good guy/bad guy'...but sometimes when it comes to drugs, it isn't either. sometimes it's just someone who wasn't able to quit. you know, the thing about addiction is that it more often than not is a constant struggle that not everyone wins. for example...i quit smoking so it would be easy for me to say to all the other smokers out there that if i can do it, so can they and that if they don't it's because they don't have the willpower to do so...but the actual truth is that only about 2 or 3% of attempts are completely successful. that's attempts, not a count of how many people are actually able to quit....still it's very very significant. i was able to stop my 15 year addiction to cigarettes after one try...but it's extremely rare to be able to do so. i was lucky...though i still am working on it, so i guess we won't know if i'm completely successful till much later in my life. on the other hand, i can't quit my other addiction and i know how pathetic i am for not being able to quit.

in any event...what i'm getting at is that you have insight into the world of drugs that can be a HUGE benefit to anyone in your profession. more importantly...you seem to want to use that insight...so congrats on that and on the 40 days clean. it's stories like these that give the rest of us hope.

[newmanagment]

I believe cops are men and women doing a job that I would neva wanna do!!!
I was on the opposite sida the fence, been chased and arrested by ya boys more than I can count! started gang bangin at 13 n neva looked back. long story short, kids change more than jail does!!
just wanted to drop ya a note n letcha know that as a cop, ya may wanna leave out the kill thing on ya blogs. they are searchable thru google.
congrads on ya clean time, its hard to kick an addiction no matter who ya are or wut ya do for a living!! and dont think your the only cop , judge , or DA that has eva been addicted. I have sold crack to all of the above, as well as court ordered dope counselors. addiction doesnt give 2 ***** bout wut you do, who ya are , or any thing else. it justs wants to control and own you. so keep focused and thanx for coming on here to help all the resta these folks wit legal ?'s they have. and when ya go to work 2day, stay safe , ok bro!!

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 40 days!!!  May you continue to have success in your recovery........sara

[tommm70]

"But I was dependent, not really addcted." or...
"When I first relized I was addicted I found these forums"

Which is it?

"Its okay you have an addiction, its no big deal."
Really?

You give a taper method, claim you threw your pills in the toilet, and you feel great, and are now cured? Wow, good for you!

What do you know about addiction? You almost make it seem like once you are over the withdrawal symptoms, you are "cured" and everything will be great.

You do realize addiction is a life long disease, with no cure, right? You did a great job coming off of your pill issue, but please don't paint a rosey picture that once you stop and get over the withdrawal hump that all will be good.

Sorry if this post seems negative, I just keep seeing people thinking they are "cured" once the withdrawals are done.

It's not that simple.

[movienut]

After a raid or an arrest the initial amount is logged on to waht is called a chain of custody form. It is then locked in a vault which is controled by one person..generally. When you need the drugs you have to sign the chain of custody form, and when you put it back the vault person has to sign for it. So like a long chain..the drugs are followed by this form..If you started with an ounce..there better be an ounce when you sign for it, or sign out.

And I felt normal right away.


Tommm70

I was dependent very close to being addicted..I think.

YES it is okay you have an addiction, an addiction does not dictate the type of person we are. Its what we do about it that determines it.

Am I cured, never.. I will always be afraid. What happens if I need another surgery??

Are addicts cured?? NEVER but then again it can be that way if you want it to be.

Its not that simple?? Yes it is..this isnt rocket science. Its plan and simple..either be a drug user..or dont. 30 days of hell, or 30 years in pain and misery.

[tommm70]

"Are addicts cured?? NEVER but then again it can be that way if you want it to be."

Which is it you believe?

And as for it being "simple". If it were simple, NOONE would be an addict. We just stop using, and that would be that, Unfortunately the disease does not allow this to happen. the disease does not allow us to be rational. This is not really debatable, its proven scientific fact.

Living with this disease is possible, but a "cure" is never an option. Addiction can never be cured. And the moment an addict realizes this, that is when they can move towards recovery and a lifetime of sobriety.

[sweetieneedshelp]

But if you are not a true addict, you just got physically addicted, then isn't it true that you can be done with the whole thing once your body is back to normal? everyone's situation is different...
Some people get a kinda false sence of security because they are not an addict... They think to themselves: It will never happen to me because I am not an addict. I don't have that problem... when the truth is if ANYONE takes pain pills for too long then they will get physically addicted (at the very least).
No one is safe from addiction unless they don't take too many pills. What is to many?
I'm not sure. For me, too many was what my doctor perscribed. I only went a tiny bit over what he perscribed when they didn't work as well any more...
The point is, doctors perscribe pain pills at levels that get people addicted evey day.
No one is safe. Addict or not. Following doctor's orders or not.
The first 4 years I took hyrocodone I didn't get addicted. I didn't have any withdrawal when I stopped taking them. I got a little moody when they wore off, and very moody if I took them and drank alchol. But no withdrawal symptoms. I took way less than what I was perscribed though. In the beginning I never took them for more than 3 days in a row. As time went on I took more on average, because they didn't work as well, but I tried to stick with my 3 day rule. There were times I went longer when I needed to. It wasn't until this year, year #5, that I experienced withdrawals when I stopped. But I quit my 3 day guide because I recieved some misinformation and because I thought I'd have less mood swings if I took a low dose all the time. The low dose quickly became a higher one and before I realized, my "carefulness" I had always practiced went out the window... I was dealing with some personal issues and I just quit worrying about being careful with my pills...
The fact of the matter is that some people can take a little bit here and there and never get addicted in any way. But those people are few and far between. Especially if you have pain that you take them for because you need to take more and more for them to work..
Honestly, I think if you take them for fun, you are not an addict, and you are very careful, you are less likely to get addicted. READ WHAT I SAID THOUGH!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL. AND, NO MATTER HOW "CAREFUL" YOU ARE, THE PILLS WILL STILL HAVE A NAGATIVE IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF MOODYNESS AND BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT AWARE OF THE WAY YOU ACT WHEN YOU TAKE THEM.YOU WILL HURT PEOPLE AND PUSH PEOPLE AWAY.
But as far as "being addicted" goes, some people do not get addicted, some people only get physically addicted, and some people are addicts (in the true sence of the word... these people have a disease).
Everyone is different. Every situation is different.
Peace and Love!

[movienut]

"Are addicts cured?? NEVER but then again it can be that way if you want it to be."

I believe in both..I believe an addict has a choice, even though its hard everyday. I believe we control our destiny and it depends on our choices on how that goes.

I never went cold turkey, and addicts say thats the easy part..I couldnt didnt have the willpower or courage. Staying clean is the hardest. If you have the courage and willpower to do that..my God you can do anything. Its up to the person..trade one addiction for another...whether your new addiction is Golf or working your *** off to buy a new home or car. We are only passing through this world, its a shame to spend it addicted.

This is lame, but you talk about addiction as a disease..look at Lance Armstrong you think he accepted his disease? to him the word disease was a cop out. Just an excuse to make yourself feel better. You want to see a disease..goto a cancer ward..a kids one..they have a disease that they cant control..an addict can..they cant quit cancer.

The cure is when the person says, NO and moves on.

[tommm70]

Certain cancers can be cured, and Lance Armstrong was cured.

Addiction has no cure. And guess what? Addiction is a physical disease, just like diabetes. Brain scans show where addiction affects us, and in the last decade science has pinpointed a threshold our brain "crosses" once we are addicts. And once we cross, we are always addicted to that substance. of course it can be lived with with prober treatment and a good program. But it will always be there. You need to learn about what you think you are talking about.

I spent my career in locker rooms where guys with pill addictions never lasted. It hit me at 36, and for a year I had enablers giving me whatever I wanted. But I got help, and I am sober now. Will it last? I hope so. But it takes work. Being sober when life is good is one thing. Staying sober when things go bad is another.

Your claims of no withdrawals, and feeling 100% fine after your taper are skeptical at best.  But hey, good for you.

And NO, there is NO cure.

[movienut]

Your claims of no withdrawals, and feeling 100% fine after your taper are skeptical at best.  Thats fine believe or dont..fine with me.

You are basically making an excuse for  your addiction and are scaring people into thinking they cant be cured. Fear is a horrible thing that you are spreading, there are plenty of people here with your disease that have been clean for years, and fight daily to stay that way.

There is a cure...its saying No and fighting daily to live the best they can.

Quit scaring people, anything is possible if you want it bad enough. No one said its easy or ever will be..but we choose to use or not. Period.

[tommm70]

Your lack of education on this matter says it all.

Like I said, research the disease, you might learn a thing or two.

No exuse was ever made. I simply stated facts. Denial is part of the disease. If your story is true, you seem stuck in this state.

[movienut]

Lack of education? not quite buddy. Come to work with me, I will give you a real education on addiction. Want to see what addiction truely does to people. Wait until winter and see frost bitten babies who are crying because there hurting and hungry, while mom is passed out after spending the food and utilities on drugs. Gun battles in the street because the dealer was shorted. Or the buyer had no money and wants to take it. Kids getting there brains splattered all over there bike because they were caught in the crossfire. Women forced into prostitution, hell I even arrested a woman blowing a guy while her 10 year old son was in the car. That is my education.

You think my taper didnt work, or I am in denial...**** denial I am terrified of this happening to me.

[movienut]

You are 193 days clean! Your mood says Healthy and Happy! You are living proof that it can be done..if your willing to put up a fight. You could help so many people here, and you are scaring them. Maybe your the smart one and i am the idiot...I quit out of fear for "what could be"..You can can help those in the "what is stage".

There are alot of people in my situation here too..terrified, just relized where they were heading, these people just had surgery like me, and the disease is coming. We are here too.. Then you have your long term addicts.

Instead of telling me Im full of **** on my taper..why not share your expeirence and get people who are not bad off try it. Then tell people how you did it your way and continue to do it daily.

There is no right or wrong way to do it..you just HAVE to do it.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I have a similar eduction to yours......mine involved GI's in Nam doing smack so they could make themselves do what it took to stay alive another day. Only by killing could we go on living. I also have a College education and a couple Honor Societies to my credit.  The world has never been perfect (Garden of Eden excepted..) and people do suffer. Sometimes the seemingly innocent ones. You havent even had the education that you feel you have had.....I am also an ordained Minister - - never had a Congregation and only did some weddings and stuff - but I have the sheepskin. Most shrinks will not give you a very good chance at five years of straight sobriety. Educate yourself on addiction and not street corner talking and maybe you will be able to help some of the boys in the hood........start a Boy Scout Troop dedicated to their legal interests and try and do some good for them.......before you gotta decide whether to pull that trigger or not....

[movienut]

I will Minister, I will read up on it. When I get back to work..soon. I have a fire in my belly to go after every death dealing dealer I see. I will work harder on the corners with the kids and teach them properly.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

You actually sound like one of the good guys!  Congrats for that.....with this new found empathy you just could make a huge difference in the community and the kids.........but you cant solve all the worlds problems by yourself. No matter how superhuman your efforts are - there will be a demand for the illegal everythings.......and as long as that demand exists; you have an uphill fight. Not impossible by any means, dont think that I meant that.  But an uphill fight leads to the high ground.......and military people before Sun Tsoa advocated holding the high ground first!  Thats where you win from.........

[peaceinknowing]

I don't normally do this, but right now I feel the urge to voice my opinion.

Both of you have valid points in this argument, but please keep in mind that the forums are laid out for assisting other members who are in need and not just for a battleground between two men who want to call eachother smarter than the other. Don't take offense to my words to the both of you, I'm only calling it as I see it and I feel as though others are reading this in agreement right now.

Cancer is completely different from addiction. Addiction is completely different from cancer. Unless you've been through cancer yourself or have witnessed someone you love go through it, then there's really no other way of going about describing what cancer is and what it does to so many undeserving people, like my father. You can't always compare one thing to another. It only makes a fool out of some, but we must keep in mind that everyone has their opinions when it comes to each and every aspect of life and they are entitled to those opinions just as much as you are entitled to yours, if this makes sense.

I am a 28 year old female who is 16 days sober from Percocet today thanks to many of the members here alongside my faith, willpower and husband. I agree with the saying that addiction is a disease because I've unfortunately lived through it. On the other hand, I also agree with the statement that addiction isn't a disease or at least shouldn't be treated as one because of there being a lack of a cure. There are cures for a lot of things, and I honestly feel like addiction is one of those things. When the fear of God is placed into someone's life, I feel like this assists with a cure; Enabling someone to never go back to their disease and/or addiction. Don't view my words as an argument, but instead view them as my friendly opinion to the both of you arguing back and forth on this forum thread. Sometimes it helps clear the air when someone else steps in and puts forth their mindset on the situation and hands out their opinion with the matter, too.

Once again, I feel like the both of you hold valid points here. Everyone is different when it comes to everything, whether it be with an addiction or a form of cancer. I'm not the sharpest tool in the box, but I feel like I'm the type of person who can bring certain positive things to the table when it comes to addiction, only because I've lived through it. I also feel like even though I know there will be days ahead of me that I'll unfortunately have to face that will bring on cravings, etc. for the pills once again -- I know that I can reach deep down in my heart and soul and pull out that same willpower I utitlized when I went CT from the Percocet without the assistance of anything with the exception of fluids and bananas.

With that being said to the both of you, I wish you both the best of luck with your recovery. Know that there are no two people exactly alike in this, but we can all come together as one to help each other out, rather than setting up a battleground on a forum that's supposed to be utilized as a form of assistance to some who have nowhere else to venture to during this time.

Love to you both, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart..  <3

[peaceinknowing]

It's an amazing thing to hear that there are still people within the law enforcement field that care for others who are going through what we are all going through right now. Keep up all the good work and continue to hold your strong feelings and beliefs. My heart goes out to you, and I'm grateful that you came forward with your opinions.

[movienut]

Your right, addiction is a battle though. We can have the support and love we can get..people here give great advice... but, it is are battle and our battle to fight alone. We fight ourselves to do the right thing..sometimes we win..sometimes we lose. But the fight will never be over, until we either win or surrender to the drugs. You are 16 days clean, and still fighting..try to remember the pain and suffering of going cold turkey when you think you need another pill. Yes a pill will make the day better, but are you willing to trade one day of happiness for 7 days of hell? or 30 days of hell? Thats if you dont start using daily again.

You have won a major battle, but you still have to protect your self from sneak attacks by your enemy..keep beating them back and eventually they will surrender.

16 days clean..isnt it nice to be like a child..clean and free! Go out somewhere and do something you havent been able to do.

Me I am going to start my life over and buy a new home.

[peaceinknowing]

Thanks for the kind words you posted to me, my friend.

Even though I'm 16 days sober from the Percocet, I'm still human. I won't sit here and run off at the mouth telling you that I have cravings all the time and wish I had a pill sitting in front of me to nibble on because then I'd be lying to each and every member here that I've spoken to directly. Once again, this goes back to me saying that everyone is different in their recovery and the length of time it takes for them to get over what they get over, if this makes sense.

I'm sure that I'll get those feelings one day soon, but until then I'm happy with the knowledge that I haven't had those thoughts yet.

[tommm70]

I am just adding facts to these statements. And addiction can very well be equated to cancer. Here is an exerpt from a professional:
"Scientific research into addiction, however, has led experts to conclude that addiction is actually a disease, a chronic illness like diabetes or hypertension. The American Medical Association broke new ground approximately forty years ago when it declared alcoholism to be a disease. And in the past decade, dramatic advances in technology have allowed scientists to examine the brain itself in search of the causes, mechanisms, and consequences of addiction. Today, scientists and physicians overwhelmingly agree that while use and even abuse of drugs such as alcohol and cocaine is a behavior over which the individual exerts control, addiction to these substances is something different. Scientists have begun to understand why addicted people may sacrifice everything that's important to them -- their jobs, their families, their homes"


Bottom line is we are lucky to be in recovery. many die, end up in jail or instiutionalized with brain damage. Addiction WILL destroy you if left untreated. Just like cancer.

It is hard to look at addiction as a disease. Non addicts do not understand why we keep putting harmful substances into our bodies, or why we stop living, just to get hat next high.
I was merely providing education to those who might read this and think it is all over after the withdrawals pass.
This is a life long struggle. But it can be lived with.

[tommm70]

Hey, I wanted to give you my experience with one of the doctors who lectured while I was in rehab. He is actually one of the leading researcers in the midwest when it comes to addiction.
I am going to use opiates as the example, but it applies to all drugs.

The lizard part of our brain, the limbic system controls the pleasure center of our brain. When we put pain killers into our body, the system is stimulated in the are we refer to as "opiate receptors" As we continue to take these drugs over time, a tolerance develops. Eventually that tolerance becomes addiction.

An actual permanent chemical reaction happens in our brain. This is called in his lecture "crossing a threshold" Hemoglobens attach to the please center of our brain and forever try to bring the addicted substance into out brain. There is no going back once this threshold is crossed.

That does not mean our lives our ruined. We can get clean, with proper education, and a good support system. Remember addiction is easy to live with when things are going well. its the downs we experience in life where we will be tested. I have a sponser who I turn to. I go to meetings and talk to fellow addicts. It is therapy for me. It's what has kept me clean.
But please, please, please believe me. It can never be cured. Our mind will always have that ability to bring us back into using.

I wish I was wrong, I wish 8 months clean I could not worry about this anymore. But I know its there, in my mind, and if I let it, it will bring me back to those pills.

[peaceinknowing]

Thanks for all the information you posted. I didn't think you were trying to argue or anything like that, you were only stating your side of the story and I respect that. That's what the forums are here for as far as anyone is concerned.

The doctor that lectured while you were in treatment sounds like he knows what he's talking about, and I'm glad you were able to take with you some of his knowledge and share it here with everyone else, especially myself. I'm a firm believer [still] that everyone is different although there may be similarities that set aside from other people going through the same things.

[sweetieneedshelp]

It's really wierd though! That crossover happens to some people the first time they take / do a drug (or other substance). They say this type of addiction can run in the family. It sound to me like some people are born with the chemicals in their brain allready out of balance. When they do a drug (some times one type of drug, more than another) their brain automatically craves the substance to balance things out.
Some people can do a ton of drugs and never get addicted. This is still playing with fire though. No one thinks "I'm going to be an addict one day". We all think it won't happen to us. Is there any way, other than taking a drug, to know if you are one of those people that will become addicted right away?
I don't know of one.
And, even if you are not one of those people, it doesn't mean you will not get addicted over time. Everyone is different. Some people become addicted right away, some people take a few years, some people never get addicted.
Maybe it has to do with the chemicals in our brains that we are born with???
It definitly has to do with how much and how often you take the substance.
It's complicated!!!!!! Everyone is different!
This is the main reason I think we need better drug education in the school system.
I believe if more people were educated they would make better decisions. Of coarse the world will always have addicts, but maybe there would be less of them.

The other thing is that addiction is soooooo hush hush. No one wants to talk about it. The people that know the most about it are the people that are addicts. Maybe if we were willing to talk about it more, less people would fall into addiction.

I promise from the bottom of my heart that if I had been more educated about what I was doing to my body, I would not have done it.

Peace! :-)

[jo929]

what does the police dept do with all of the drug money they get when someone is arrested. also i hear they take their homes

[movienut]

The money from my understanding is booked into evidence and sometimes used for undercover drug buys, and used to fund other things in the police dept..kinda relieving the burden on the tax payers. Homes and cars are sometimes seized if being used for illegal purposes and auctioned of and the police dept also uses that money.

[tommm70]

I have lots of cop friends and they always get a kick out of the aftermath of drug raids. The only thing police departments cannot do is use the money for pay increases, bonuses, or new hire's.
Otherwise they can buy whatever they want. One guy's town bought a surveilance airplane. LOL.

[movienut]

I tell you what, if officers got a commission on seized money...war on drugs over with!

[BaronMunchausen]

Congrat's again...and again, and again.

It can never be said enough.

Keep in mind every addiction is different, and the needed treatment vaires. Before I stopped some years ago, I'd tried tapering a few times. The withdrawals and PAWS were always horrible.

The last time it stuck, because I managed to find a formula that worked, with minimal to no serious effects.

So the trick to those who do suffer from withdrawals is to not give up, and keep trying.

Eventually you'll hit on a successful formula that will get you through.

[movienut]

Agreed, when I tried cutting pills...ouch didnt work.. When I increased hours between the dose..easy as pie. No matter how you do it..just do it.

[debsally]

Dude, I just got around to reading your stories.  What an amazing story!  So super real and brave and incredible and a little funny...totally laughed at the toilot celebration thing.  I am so glad you are here.  You will definately be so inspiring to lots of people.  

I will have to try to think of some cop questions....wish you had some advice for our poor Nauty girl....

Deb

[movienut]

I am taking good care of Nauty! lol