I feel lke I am fighting everyay to find a reason

[Bug1964]

Hello everyone...Lately I have been feeling so depressed....I just want to go to sleep and stay that way....sorry to sound morbid, but I don't know what to do...I do have an addiction to vics but I have been tapering down because I am sick of depending on it....I am raising my last child (16) and I just feel like I can't deal anymore...we have a really great relationship, but she is bulemic and we have been going through this for a while...She is trying to stop, but I keep catching her..I just feel so tired.. She is my third teenager and the only one still at home....I have been through alot with the other two but they are older now and are moving on with their lives...I am a single parent and I am just to tired anymore...Could it be me, withdrawling or can it be that I am just tired of parenting alone...I just want to sleep....Just sleep.....Anyone been through this?.

[wickedwanderer]

hi bug,

i've been feeling a lot of hopelessness, and it sounds like you are feeling the same.  don't try to be superparent, just work on taking care of the addiction first.  does your daughter get any counseling for her eating disorder?  i just thought it might take some of the stress off of you if a therapist could help her work on that.  

do something for yourself.  take a bubble bath, read a book, take a walk....once you aren't feeling the w/d's anymore, you'll have more energy and the depression should start to lift...just know you aren't alone, ok?

[anotherfinemess]

I feel for you, and for your daughter.  I have had my struggles with eating disorders in the past , and its a tough road.  It's hard to reason with someone in the throes of these disorders;  they are psychological issues and have very little to do with food itself.  EDs are coping mechanisms, and not very good ones at that.  Your daughter could be putting herself in grave danger.  You're a great mom, keep talking to her, make sure she keeps talking to you.  You have a lot on your plate (so to speak) with all this.  Sending strong and positive vibes your way...

[debsally]

Hey, do I ever know how you feel.  I have a 16 yr old boy at home.  My oldest son moved out and lives with his dad.  I have those days where I am so tired of being a mom and I feel just so over it.  I too have raised these boys by myself and it is exhusting sometimes to be the do all and end all of the family.  Part of your frustration may just be regular parental frustration that is aggrivated by your current conditions and circumstances.

When I feel like this, I make myself listen to christian music or positive music, read positive things and surround myself with support.  I go for encouragement to the people I know I will get encouragement from.  I try to take better care of myself and even give myself little treats, even if it is a walk at the park or beach just to get away to clear my head.  This has been hard for me lately but I am working at taking care of myself so I don't feel so discouraged with life.

I also rely heavily on my faith to get me through.  So I know how you feel and I hope you will take better care of yourself so you have something to give to your daughter.  I know it is frustrating.  Some days I want to kill my son, he makes me so mad, but hang in there.  

cuddles,

Debbie

[lonote]

Wanting to sleep is very common, hon I think we've all wanted to sleep this thing away till its gone. Unfortunately thats not how it goes. We have to wake up for life. Theres a live to be lived out there and its got its ups and downs. Its got to be rough with your last teenager at home with a disorder of her own. I used to make myself throw up also, till I realized It wasn't making me skinny. And its very hard on your innerds. Counceling is a very good idea. I also take antidepressants to keep me on an even keel. Suboxone has also been a great help for me, That, I will have to come off of someday, and it won't be a picnic. I want you to know i'm hearing you, and i'm hear to listen whenever we're
out here together. You are not alone my friend. Lots of support to be had out here.   Cathy
I hope you get some energy soon. Doc gives me phentermine for weight loss and energy, so I'm by far not perfect. But I'm okay with taking a pill for this or that to help me function, as long as it isn't those damm narcotics that got me in this mess in the first place.  

[retiredrn]

Yes, when I was depressed, all I wanted was to go to sleep amd escape--took overdoses but never wanted to die, just sleep.  I feel so much better now off opiates and benzos and antidepresssants, it does get better.  As far as your daughter, it's just like your heart gets broken when they hurt and you can't fix it, especially when you're the sole support system being a single parent.  Hang in there, you're doing the right thing to get straight, hard as it is, and hopefully she'll be able to quit her addiction to throwing up, I did that as well for a short time and the feeling of fullness after eating needs getting used to again.

[susieq87]

Please help yourself first as you can't be there for your daughter until you are well.  Ihave 4 grown kids and did most of it alone thru addictions.  I had to go into recovery and I had to have a soft detox which means BP meds and sleep meds for 7 days to get the rapid detox going.  Then I had to find a recovery program and counseling so I could find myself.  Now I am able to help my grown kids.  It is really scary while you are in it but you don't have to do it alone.  I also had to start going to Alanon, a group to help find myself.  I had to go to counseling with my son and I wasn't rich, just type in free abuse counseling or so forth on your computer.  Get a beginning going so you can see the end.  Good luck

[loulou1220]

I know its so hard to deal with things alone. If you need any support with anything, just let me know.

[Bug1964]

Thank you so much for just acknowledging me.......It helps alot....Didn.t really get any replies...Thank you

[loulou1220]

I haven't been through this but I am going through withdrawal right now and yes I feel like I want to die. just stick with it. I wish you the best.

[Bug1964]

sorry, but my keyboard has been sticking, and some of my words are mispelled