I feel used by an addict

How do you know when a friend is using you just to get what they want when they are an addict? I have a friend that is in active addiction and knows I am recovering.This person helped me in the past and I am very appreciative of this Yet, I feel that if this person doesn't get what they want from me (ie )money that terrible things will happen b/c this person has a big mouth. I have heard things from him about other people that used on occasion which should have never been repeated.  

I just feel used and sad b/c I like this person and would do anything EXCEPT feed their addiction and my feelings are hurt.Funny thing is this person is loaded and is spending their money like crazy. This person comes up with every excuse where the money is going.

Guess I have to cut ties you all will say. Easier said than done. This person knows a lot of people I know and will "out me" as this person IMO is unstable and a manipulator (all addicts are).I don't want my life to be turned upside down because of this and have to pay the consequences for the rest of my life. I feel like prey to this person. Guess you have to look out for yourself and keep it moving.

[scaredmom330]

Have you tried talking to this person? telling them how you feel and if things don't change you can't be friends?

[ProdigalGirl]

No talking to this person. He is out there so to speak. Interventions tried etc. Feel like I have to keep them "at bay" so to speak so my life stays safe with my reputation. Thanks for responding

[flmagi]

Take your chances and cut the ties or just refuse to help with money anymore. If this person tries to spread some info, you can always say, " yeah, I refused to give him money, he got pissed and threatened to spread lies". People will usually ignore rumors if you don't make a big deal of them or just shrug them off. Get yourself free from this burden.

[catmagnet]

I agree with flmagi...

[enemy48]

Guess What?  The exact situation is happening to me right now.

It was someone I worked with and she got fired.  She never had $$$ because her habit was more than she said it was.

She had always paid me back, up until when she got fired.  She still expects me to loan her money even though she hasn't paid me back this last loan.  I won't so that's what she doing plus other stuff.

So what.  It's my word against hers, and she's the addict and desperate and actually loosing her mind not having a person to loan her money.  But she'll find someone else.  I've learn that she's been this way for years and years.

Best Wishes.

[shelby74]

Are you afraid that this person will out you as a fellow addict?  I can understand your concerns there but one thing I have learned...is that no matter how well you try to hide your addiction, it always comes out in the end.  At least that is what happened to me.  At first it's hard when people learn your "secret" and sometimes their reactions are ones of complete ignorance.  For instance my brother calls me "drugs".  Never offered to talk about it or anything like that...but feels he can make jokes about something so deadly serious.  I let it slide off my back now.  I look at some of my friends and family who know...and I can see where they have addictions or problems along the same lines...but they do not acknowledge it.  At least I am aware that I have a problem.