Aa
Laugh at the expense of men
The whys of Men
>
> 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
> (because they are plugged into a genius)
>
> 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
> (they don't have enough time)
>
> 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
> (they don't stop to ask directions)
>
> 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
> (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
>
> (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
>
> 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
>
> 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
>
> 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
> (don't know.....it never happened)
>
> ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your! blond jokes!)
>
> 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
>
>
> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
> and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart
>
> A good laugh will do that for you.
>
>
>
> One for the ladies
> One day my house work-challenged husband
> decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after
> he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to
> me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
> 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
> He yelled back, 'University of Oklahoma '
> And they say blonds are dumb...
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
> 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
> The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the
shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?'
> 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
> A: A rumor
> -----------------------------------------------
> * Dear Lord,
> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for
his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death..
> AMEN
> -----------------------------------------------
> -
> Q: Why do little boys whine?
> A: They are practicing to be men.
> ----------------------------------------------- --
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling
your name?
> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
>
>
>
>
> "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that
prevails.”
>
>
>
> 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
> (because they are plugged into a genius)
>
> 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
> (they don't have enough time)
>
> 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
> (they don't stop to ask directions)
>
> 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
> (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
>
> (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
>
> 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
>
> 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
>
> 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
> (don't know.....it never happened)
>
> ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your! blond jokes!)
>
> 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
>
>
> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
> and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart
>
> A good laugh will do that for you.
>
>
>
> One for the ladies
> One day my house work-challenged husband
> decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after
> he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to
> me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
> 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
> He yelled back, 'University of Oklahoma '
> And they say blonds are dumb...
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
> 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
> The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the
shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?'
> 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
> A: A rumor
> -----------------------------------------------
> * Dear Lord,
> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for
his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death..
> AMEN
> -----------------------------------------------
> -
> Q: Why do little boys whine?
> A: They are practicing to be men.
> ----------------------------------------------- --
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling
your name?
> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
>
>
>
>
> "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that
prevails.”
>
>
*sigh*... This is why us men hide at the pub, our women don't respect or appreciate us!
Maybe I should have married my dog instead. Or perhaps I should have just decided to be really, really gay.
Although I don't know if I have the fashion sense and good taste.
I do, however, love Judy Garland, so perhaps there's some hope for me yet. :)
Maybe I should have married my dog instead. Or perhaps I should have just decided to be really, really gay.
Although I don't know if I have the fashion sense and good taste.
I do, however, love Judy Garland, so perhaps there's some hope for me yet. :)
this is definately causing some smiles..thanks for having such a great sense of humor..
xo Lisa
xo Lisa
Well, that was good for a laugh from this man - and it was needed!
nauty - it gets worse when there is nothing to create that vapor lock -
nauty - it gets worse when there is nothing to create that vapor lock -
My husband has no balls so the vapor lock theory is out.......but, snored like a freaking buzz saw.......on a freight train.......
COMMUNITY LEADER
I knew there was a reason why i loved ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO
Hey I know this was for the "LADYS" but I am a guy and the vapor lock thing had me rolling. Good post.
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