Lisa!!!

[shelby74]

Hi hun!

I was thinking about you all night!  I am so happy to see you!

love you!

xoxoxox

shel

[tzt2lady]

Lisa, im so glad to see you too.  I so wish we could all get together for coffee today, or a good chick flick or something.   Im sending you big hugs though sweetie.   I dont know how some people can be so heartless.

My best friend died  when I was 25, she was 26.  We shot lots of dope together and she got endocarditis from the "cotton".    I still remember the day before she died she called from the hospital.   I was busy getting high and didnt come to the phone, said Id call her back.   Well the next day I called and the nurse said that exact thing.   She "expired".    My godnees cant they find another way of saying it!
I cant imagine an 11 yr old girl hearing those words about her mom!   Age 11 is the age when kids realize immortality...........fear the death of a parent most.  

I know when we are reminded of loss, grief is awakened, the remnants from other losses come barreling down as well.   Let yourself cry hun.     Just grieve for a few hours or days, whatever it takes.  In the long run perhaps its gonna help you stay clean, get it out and feel it.    

We are here if you need to talk, ok?    IF you need a phone call, Shel can give you my number.

hugs
tzt

[shelby74]

Oh honey you never have to apologize!  I wish there was something I could do for you.  I know that it must have brought up the awful pain of everything that happened.  You know my father passed when I was 11 also.  It is a tough thing for a child to understand, their parent passing.  I know what you are feeling honey, I really do.  Then the thoughts of David again, god Lis, I wish I could be with you right now.  Call me anytime.  You have my number.  I will be home for a good part of the day.

I love you too and anything you need just let me know.

[avisg]

gald to see ya chat with ya when you get back.
Avis

[liscamdave]

Im so sorry i didn't respond. Shel, I am a mess. I friggin mess. I am so hurt and so sad about it I can't take it.  I was up all night crying and I can pyshically feel my heart aching for him. What  hurts the most is when my mother died, when I was 11, she was in the hospital for three months, and the morning of her death I was supposed to go see her, the dr. called my grandpop and I also pcked up the phone to listen, and he said, "Mr.****, your daughter expired"....

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 11 and thought to myself, "Expired, what is that" was my mother a friggin carton of milk? And now this ******* has bought this back again about my precious David? I just cannot concieve of it and just can't stop replaying it....im so sorry I am out of it....

I love you and thank you for being there for me. I am going to get out of the house...Ill be on later.....

Love you...