Morning...

[lady_m]

I just read your replies to my post yesterday and you are all truly amazing.  People have stereotypes of what addicts are - weak, uncaring, useless people, and this forum just shows that it couldn’t be farther from the truth.  Just look around, this place is full of the most intelligent, hardworking, caring and loving people I have ever met.  I really mean that.  

Last night I told Josh I can’t have the pills around, I have proven too many times it breaks me.  No matter how strong I feel, I will have a weak moment and for that reason I can’t have them near me.  I told him if he needed to take them he needs to hide them – and hide them well.  I have found them too many times.  Or like Shel is doing, buy a safe. I think that is a great idea.  When I told him that, he confessed that he has been taking them when he shouldn’t be.  He has taken them for recreational purposes before and he feels that is what he is doing now.  He said the pain hasn’t been bad, but he kept taking them.  He has never had addiction issues like me, but I know being “a little bit of an addict” isn’t any better.  He has a different mindset and the ability to recognize the problem and fix it without the deep rooted issues I have.  But regardless, this is something we both need to work on.  I’m surprised it happened with what he has seen me go through.  Well, I shouldn’t say that.  I’m not surprised, because those pills are demons and they can grab ahold of anyone.

I have my appointment at 10:30am (California time).  I don’t know if I told you or not, but this psychiatrist also specializes in Addiction/Chemical Dependency/Substance Abuse.  I think that is perfect.  I have this feeling I’m really going to take to him and that he is going to be a big factor in my success.  I already had the appointment set up and I’m glad, because I need it now more than ever.  I will email you all when I get back to let you know what happened.

I haven’t had any today.  Well, I ate them all yesterday so I don’t have a choice.. lol.  But I didn’t want any anyway, I want to be done with this.  I just need to figure out what was broken so I can fix it this time.  

Love you all so, so, so much.

[sumama]

No I don't mind sharing.  I probably have been on 500mg vicodin off an on for about 7 years.  This last time it has been about  3 years.  I am not out of pills now, but I am just not going to take them.  I have really messed up knees (two surgeries) and an arthritic back.   I have been weaning myself off of the pills  since Friday.  I  do have the restless legs and the weakness in my muscles.  I have been drinking a lot of Orange juice, it
seems to be helping.  If I have something to I make myself do it.  I babysit my grandson during the day.  That is a blessing.  My dr.  always told me to get off the pills for a day or so every couple of weeks.  I did that for a while , but the icky legs and sleepless nights  usually got me going again.  Like I said I have always just taken  1/2 at a time and then the other about an hour later, but  lately in the evening I started taking 1 or 2 just to relax.   I knew this was not good,  I did it anyway.  So here is where I am today.  I know I have legitimate pain, it also seemed the pain was worse on the pills.  Or maybe that was just an excuse to take another.  Go figure.  Well that's my story, I'm sure it is similar to others.  Where are you at in your journey with these blasted things?
Sue

[tzt2lady]

Do you mind sharing what you are using, what strength (mg), how much and for how long?  Only if you are comfortable.   Are you out of pills and going into withdrawals right now or are you at the stage where you are examining what is going on to decide if you think the pills are a problem?
Most of us start with taking them for legitimate pain and then it just gets way out of hand.   Most of us have very similar stories, just different faces and names.
tzt

[sumama]

Thanks for responding,  I will look forward to posting and praying for you all. This isn't easy but with a littles perseverance and faith I know I will get through it.  One of the biggest problems I have is that I know that my Dr  will fill my prescription.  He just warned me about addiction problems at my last checkup.  That got me to thinking, "could it be me?"  I always prided myself for just taking 1/2 at a time.  But believe me even that amount can sneak up on you.  And it will take away your life.  But I am claiming mine back again.
Thanks for listening.
Sue

[tzt2lady]

Welcome!   You are so right, this is a very caring place and I am glad you found us.  Yeah, the "A" word (addiction) is a difficulty one, isn't it?
I look forward to your posts and wish you luck in your fight to live drug free.
tzt

[sumama]

I just found this web site.  I am so glad I did.  I am like all of you trying to get off of this stupid drug.  The 1/2 pill I took was at 9:30 yesterday.  I have the leg and muscle stuff going on now.  My biggest problem is when I am alone.  I think of taking another pill.  I got on the web to get my mind on other things and I found this one.  It is nice to know that I am not the only one with such feelings and addictions.  Even though I don't like to use that word, it truly is the correct one.  Just by reading these posts, I can see that this is a caring place.

[tzt2lady]

Cali, I am so excited about your appointment and have a good feeling about this too.   Please let us know how it goes, ok???
tzt

[lonote]

Well good luck with your dr.'s appointment today. I can see you feel real good about and I think its really a good idea. Let us know how it goes.