Negative people ....

I can not figure out why negative people who  constantly discourage are allowed to stay on this forum.Personally, I haved loved this forum and have received much support.But if  this is allowed to continue, I will surely leave, as I  will not be detered from the support I have gotten here but just the same, refuse to continue because of the negativity that I have been reading.....which is not what this site is all about. It is rediculous to let a total pessimist continue to try to bring  some of us us down and I for one will not tolerate it therefore will go elsewhere.

[confused456]

I agree. I am not sure who you are referring to and it does not matter, but I also agree. I have not been here as much of course because of my Grandma's death but also because of this.

[tamtam326]

For real!!! Why are quote med-students getting on here are they addicts??? negativity will only hurt the ones who really need our support and help and will only take away what we all need is help, by making people leave. Just stick around we can handle them ya know.

[wait2long]

agreed...but i am not going there....cant!

[TrayCee]

I agree with parts of your post.  There is no room for negativity or disrespect on this board.  As far as I know there is not a nother message board on the net with such supportive and truly caring people.  I however, dont understand why you "threaten" to leave here every other day.  If your not finding the support here that you need you dont need to announce everyday that your leaving.
There... thats my 2 cents.

Good luck to you what ever you choose.

[sadinmichigan]

I agree and have felt that way myself. The only thing is it depends..what kind of negativity? I have seen all kinds but sometimes the truth about certain things one could expect from their addiction/withdrawal and recovery are hard..not at all impossible but one has to know what they are dealing with or are up against.
I have noticed however some people who just like to start controversy..Very highschool...

[ILoveLukey]

Just a shame that one  person and their uneducated opinions  can hurt and effect so many that are   trying to get well.

[worried878]

Positivity is so important..even when people post things that seem virtually impossible to kick...it can be done and being negative will not help...there is always help...what post is this you guys are speaking of?

[confused456]

I agree and sure hope it wasn't me.

[corey411]

H i , I felt the same lastweek bc alot of posts were saying you won't make it wo NA or really focusing on high chances of relapse and just gloom and doom posts. We all need to hear the truth about what lies ahead esp. those who have not read and have become knowlegable on what to expect in recovery..ie usually relapse. I 've read some posts that were all negative but usually see mostly positive and supportive. I don't know what particular posts you mean..alot of relapses the passed few days but if you mean those you shouldn't see them as negative but educational. This is a difficult journey.

I hope you give the forum a longer chance. Sometimes it's good to hook up with a few people that you have the most in common with and PM them giving yourself a break from reading the posts if things are getting to you. Focus on the support and not the negativity. You need positive thoughts to beat this. Best of luck , Corey

[sadinmichigan]

well said  corey..Thankyou..

[wait2long]

i think i am talking/thinking of something TOTALLY different...disregard my post...

[worried878]

When u stop reaching out and stop even trying or caring....that is giving up...as long as you reach out, then there is help and support..reading about relapse is part of it...part of the forum...it happens...and will continue to happen...for many and not all...being eduacted on PAWS and seeking aftercare helps but wont prevent it totallty for all...people who relapse or have a bump in their road to recovery need support as well..it is a complicated process and no one is right and no one is wrong...but we are all trying...that is what is important...and what bonds us together as a group

[SableZen]

Some really good responses... there is a difference between recognizing that this is a struggle for us (that's the given part we all personally know), educating ourselves and each other (understanding is a necessary part of recovering), and being hopelessly negative.

But it's hard NOT to be openly negative - that's the very nature of this struggle - and the part which we have to personally survive as individuals. That part is overwhelming and powerful for everyone. But recognizing (by educating each ourselves and each other) that negativity is just a part of the recovery process, *a part that comes, goes, returns, lessens, and yet finally ENDS*, is key to just surviving through it.

Let's try to remember that when we are educating each other, educating ourselves, just need to vent, or being there for someone else to vent - that this is *normal* considering the circumstances of people beating addictions. But most importantly: that it gets better and finally ends if we ride it out.

I apologize if it sounds like I'm ranting - I'm not really. This post and the responses just really got me thinking.

[wait2long]

wonderful post....

[Yoda99]

As long as I've been here, there's been bouts of negativity and sometimes what we call "drama".  In the beginning it would upset me so much and drain me so much, that I would just stay away for a while.  All we can do is try not to let the negativity get to us and know that there are people like that in all walks of life, so we'll find them here too.  If it is interfering with your progress, just take a break from the forum.  Come back in a few weeks and everything will probably be going smoothly.  Until the next time...
Hang in there,
Yoda

[joann1975]

I from getting negative feedback the other day have decided all we can do for the ones with the negative comments etc..... is to pray for them, realize they are probably only talking about their own demon and hope the best for them. Also, take their age/maturity level into consideration, where they are in recovery etc....

That is my 2 cents!

[Savas]

The only comment I'll make is be wary of advice from med students. It's a case of a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. Perhaps more learning  and experience will give them the whole picture.

[Yoda99]

Very good point,
Yoda

[louise65]

so does this mean that any one of us who have relapsed should not be allowed a voice and to try and seek some support.unfortunatly not all of us have the luxury of living in a land of only positives. i think you are being very judgemental. relapse unfortunatly is a fact of life for many addicts pretending it isnt and all is sweet only further discriminates against those of us who struggle. good luck in your land of milk and honey, louise

[Yoda99]

???

[louise65]

what dont you get?

[paul300]

Hey there,
I've been reading this posting holding back because I think this is a difficult subject for me to articulate. Can you please try and explain what you meant in your last comment. I didn't get the judgmental part. And I really don't read into anyone discriminating.. Post or send me a private note. Thanks.
david

[louise65]

hi david,the initial post at the begining of this thread felt to me like if we are on here not doing well, relapsing etc or being truthful about how bloody awful withdrawals are we shouldnt be on.  theres nothing wrong with giving people upbeat encouragement, i dont have a problem with it but that and a comment on the other addiction site made me feel that if we are not clean or ready to get off we are not welcome. i struggled for yrs with an opiate addiction, got off with the help of suboxone and subutex, stopped them too quickly due to personal circumstances and have relapsed badly so i quess that makes me one of the negative ones.of course there may be a cultural thing happening[am scottish] and im misreading, anyhow also cause i am in a very bad spot at the mo am supersensitive, i dunno. louise

[Yoda99]

Hi Louise:
   I do think you read something into it or maybe took it the wrong way.  I've been here a long time and negativity here means those that post mean posts and say hurtful things.  It doesn't mean that we can't post our trials and tribulations.  
   We are a very supportive group and most of us have relapsed.
Thanks for joining us, and I hope this has cleared things up a little for you.  
Take care,
Yoda
And thanks to my pal, David, for stepping up to the plate.  :)

[sickcookie]

So glad your here,there are no rules on who can or can not be here,just remember you are here because you need to be and that is all that matters ,so please keep posting and reading it will help you find your way,and just ignore the negative because bottom line we are all pretty sick people trying to find our way.So good luck to you and please stick around

[louise65]

hi yoda, i seem to be going off on one regularly at the moment! sorry i did misread it if thats all she meant, i dont agree with hurtful comments myself. am in such a hole at the moment so am very short tempered.am very angry with myself for relapsing. my life is a mess. sometimes i wonder if its worth it, maybe just float away on a huge opiate wave. i have had 2 inpatient detox and then a  year on the suboxone, feel like im doomed to fail.tomorrows another day i quess i hope its better than this, thx for the welcome, louise

[louise65]

thx sickcookie, LOVE the name!

[paul300]

Well, I believe everyone is welcome here regardless of condition, stage or whatever (except bad people with ill intentions.) I agree with you, I never would have thought how awful the withdrawals would be. It's hilarious reading the technical descriptions regarding hydrocodone withdrawals-- as if its some sort of discomfort. Now take that to someone else with stronger, larger doses of opiates over a longer period of time, there is no way I can comprehend the enduring pain--no way. I've had a small taste and it was hell enough for me. I truly admire and respect those in here trying break a long habit with strong drugs--even on their nth try.

I consider myself a strong and lucky person and what little I was taking knocked me on my @ss.  As for the cultural thing, no worries, this is normal as you may know, text messages lose the tone, especially if we are stressing through a moment.
Thanks for responding.
david

[louise65]

thx david, that pretty much describes me stressing all the time, my profile might give you a little more insight, lifes pretty rough and on top of it all ive relapsed, its so disheartening. well done for getting off and staying off to all of you that have, its an amazing feat, i wish i could do it. louise

[louise65]

just wanted to say thanks for the words of encouragement you sent, they were very much apprieciated. have been giving quite alot of thought to my drug use over the last few days and have realised that since i have relapsed i have esculated my use very little and although i feel like more i havent my dose has been stable for around 2 months, so my plan at the mo is to remain on that amount reduce hear and there when i feel strong enough and have another shot at detox when my life is in less turmoil. anyhow guys thx 4 caring, louise