No Feelings

My bf has 51/2 clean and sober (I know by NA stardards no difference) and used and drank to not face any feelings and now he can't seem to feel anything for anything how long will this last???

[Ella789]

Emotions are sometimes over whelming to former users.  The urges to use again still haunt us at times.  Seems like some are depressed, I was and I take Cymbalta 60mg twice daily.  And remeron for sleep at night.  The after care is important, if he would just come on here and post and ask questions then he would see how many of us feel just like him.  It is tough, emotions are everywhere at times.  I think perhaps he should see a Dr. for depression or just to see if his checkup turns out okay!

Best wishes
Ella

[bratty5]

Thanks for the comment and I agree if he would just talk to someone hell anyone he won't talk to me, his group, or at NA. But he has never been a big talker we used to communicate pretty easily but just to talk to other people he is really quiet so getting him to talk to someone about this........not happening.

[trekrgirl]

Hi there, have you tried going to alanon, it will help you.  another thing syou might want to do is look at the alcoholics forum jsut read some of the posts, you might get some insight to what he might be feeling.  Remeber this really has nothing to do with you personally.  I know it doesn't feel that way but it is true, most of the time it will take a while before they feel, but they will.  You must remember that hiding that an addiction lets you hide the feelings, he will have to learn them again soe to speak. Hang in there! keep smiling.

[debsally]

Hey girl...hang in there.  I am the partner of a long time recovering addict and have been on this site for over a year and a half to get support.  I have learned so much from these wonderful people so you are soooo in the right place.  

Having said that...let me share a few things that I have learned as the partner of someone in recovery.

1. You didnt cause it.  You cant control it.  You cant cure it....write in down where you can see it every day.

2.  When addicts stop using they have a hard time dealing with all the things they were not dealing with that made them use.  If he is not talking to you, just keep encouraging him to talk to someone...anyone or show him this site.

3.  If you love him, hang in there.  It gets better over time.  My partner is one year clean after a bad relapse and I am elated I stuck it out because our relationship is better than I could have dreamed.

4.  Make sure you have a good support system for yourself.  Get educated.  Go to alanon if you can or hang with us.  We will help you in any way we can.

I'll be thinking of you!!!

Debbie