Not knowing

[j34]

Does anybody feel like the longer clean time that you have the more things that you don't understand as in at first in my recovery I really was in 'tune' with my sobriety now life seems to have been baffling me? Does this make sense or do I need some major help?

[momeluv]

Hi Sweetie:
I have gathered up quite a bit of clean time one day at a time!  Are you in a program or any kind of support group?  It rally does help!  Do you have a sponsor?  That really does help too!  Please feel free to PM me if you want to chat.  This too shall pass, one day at a time!
So just for today...
"many times in our recovery, the old bugaboo's will haunt us.  Life may again become meaningless, monotonous, and boring."

Just for today:
I'll take a break from the routine, and stretch my potential to it's fullest!

God bless you and I will keep you lifted in prayer!
Love,
momeluv aka deb

[Mangee]

Before you were an addict you lived in a world that you knew from day one. Once you became an addict you moved into a different world. You had to learn to adjust and to seek out the easiest way to persist in tis new world. You went into withdrawal, kicked it and again moved into a new world. This was a world you thought you knew but you are looking at it with new eyes. Even though it is familiar it is still strange. It is baffling because you are seeing things that you never really realized were there. Nothing is really that different it is just that you are seeing it again for the first time. In time it will all be competely familiar and what you are going through now will become just a faded memory. Accept your new life for what it is. You will never ever be completely free of the other two worlds but you now have control over your destiny, something you had to fight to hang on to in the addiction world, Something that kept slipping out of your grasp until the day you said, 'Enough! and began returning to the old world that now seems different. Don't let go of it.

[dominosarah]

she knows i am always confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  LOL

[carr]

it happens....lol

[mojorisin64]

just wanted to confuse us and left lol

[dominosarah]

j34........where did you go???

[carr]

I think at the beginning when we make the decision to stop using, we are told what, how, and why we should do it and that gets us started, but as we continue down the road of recovery we lose sight of what, how and why we are doing it. I believe this is because it never ends. It's a continuous process, we will always be recovering and there isnt an exact guideline on what to do now. Unless you are working a program such as AA, NA, CA respectively. Life is always hazy when I was using because that's all I lived for, was to get high. To feel better, to numb the reality that waited for me. Now that I am clean, reality is in my face and sometimes I'm not sure how to handle it. You must also take into consideration that it takes up to 2 years for your body to become chemically balanced again. So, we are still not operating as we should be or as the "normal" people
do. Remember, its "just for today" that you stay clean, and its "one day at a time" that we do it. Stay strong and the world will look better and more understandable the longer you remain clean.

How much clean time do you have?

May you have peace and happiness always,

carrie

[mojorisin64]

you mean everything made sense when you were using?? i think thats what you mean...i know there were some confusing days but they went away for me...i cant sleep im glad you guys are up..

[dominosarah]

What is baffling you??  I think i am a bit confused myself!!!!