Nursenarcotic

was abusing for 3 years and luckily never got caught.  I would have looked at it as a problem after being fired from the first job.  Anyway, I just got sick of the pills controlling my life, and decided to quit.  I tapered down for 2 weeks and have now been drug free for 6 days.  Do you still have your license?  I would look into a inpatient rehab.  I was able to quit on my own (so far).  Inpatient rehab was never an option for me, because then I would have to admit to my employers what I was doing.
What are you taking and how much?  Can you taper, or do you need to go cold turkey.  I would recommend a taper if you have the willpower to take the daily dose you allow yourself.
All I can say to you is that you need to stop before you lose everything!  THAT IS THE MAIN REASON I QUIT!!!   Nurses are so suseptatble to drug addiction.  There are a few nurses on this site now.

Please talk to me, I'll do what I can to help today.  I am leaving town for the weekend tomorrow, but will back on Monday evening.  This forum can really help, it was what gave me the strength to quit.
Everyone here has great advice and truely wants us all to get clean and stay clean.
Caitlin

[blueyz]

Hey girl,

I just wanted to tell you that I've been reading your posts and am really proud of what your doing.  I didn't really know your story until now and I see a lot of strength in you.  I stopped for the same reasons you did.  Just didn't like them controlling me anymore.  I've been pill free since April (well, until Wed after a trip to the ER, that's a few posts down). It's nice to have control again.  I think your doing great and have been a wonderful addition to the forum!

[Partly Cloudy]

I'm a nurse who has had the very frequent opportunity to obtain narcotics with often very little risk of detection. (Hospice nursing).  I have always liked the feeling I get from vicodins and therefore have allowed myself to succumb to temptation  and rather than dispose of the drugs have "confiscated" them for my own "recreational" and in particular, especially since my mother died 2 years ago, "escapism" use.  I am not completely addicted (physically nor emotionally) and wonder if I really can control this indefinitely.  I think I may be what is known as "high-functioning".  However, I have gotten to where instead of just when the opportunity presented itself that I actually look for the opportunityBUT have not and intend on never creating the opportunity to take them.  Nevertheless, I know this is wrong and I have a problem which is tied into so many, many other issues in my somewhat interesting but convaluted life  I might also add I have been an integral part of the local neighborhood  bar scene in the places I have lived with many friends who have become a surrogate family to me. One DWI 10 years ago.  If I never get caught with either drug use or don't kill myself from drinking (my boyfriend is designated driver) am I living a half-life?  Couldn't I just keep going like this for the rest of my life?  With snatches of feeling well or good, here and there?  I don't believe that unless I allow my polysubstance use to take over  that my life will be any better for becoming a tee-totaller or abstinent from substances that improve my mood and outlook on life (albeit temporarily).  I have done some good things in life, been places and made a good mark on society, etc, etc.so in other words, so what if I choose to use??? Anyway, before I begin to ramble further would very much like to hear from anyone who would like to respond.  By the way, I have never done this before, shared on-line on any forum nor have told ANYONE about myself but am doing so because in general you are a neat group of people and maybe I do need help..   And I like the threads of humor and hope and support you give to others.  If I do start laughing too much I'll change my nickname to "Partly Sunny"! And I can take the "F" word, though it may bring rain! (from previous posts back in April and May).

[lucyred68]

Hun, and i say this with great respect for you and your occupatiom, I am afraid you are only fooling yourself.  It is a sign of addiction when a person steals the pills for any reason.  I can say this, because i am guilty of doing it and lying to myself about it for many years, myself.  i finally got the nerve to come clean with my story and from my methadone (for chronic pain), norco and xanax addictions.  the withdrawels were horrible, lasted a month and a half.  i am now clean since June 12, 2007, and feeling pretty good.  still have trouble sleeping, and the orriginal pain is back.  in fact, i take up to 4 norco's a day to keep on functioning with the pain.  will quit again when my hubby gets
health insurance, in about a month, and i can get some other treatment.  as for going on like this the rest of your life, i guess you could.  but should you?  it could easily make that life a lot shorter if you know what i mean.  not criticizing you, hun, just trying to answer the questions you asked honestly.  good luck, and when the desire to not be controlled by tiny little pills any longer comes,  we'll be here for you.

Lucy