Ok so day 8!!! Just tired of dealing....

[BornofOsiris]

Ok so i just got back from my morning walk around the block. So last night was the first night since i have been clean and stayed the night at a friends house. It was a fun SOBER night, playing games chillin socialiizing etc. Plus nnone of my friends use pain killers anyway! This morning i woke up and my stomach kinda hurt a lil and i feel SUPER hungry. Didnt much get to much sleep (like allways) man i just want to be able to SLEEP!!!!

I wish i had never taken a pill in my life...I wish i would have been more educated on this sh**. I havent had to much problems with the mental aspect and getting depressed or anything like that but i notice i kinda beat myself up for taking the pills and i almost feel like i cant forgive myself for taking the pills, I guess i should just accept that it happened and it wont happen again!!!

o and sorry i post so much it helps alot to get things out of my head, and just to talk. I have been pretty much on here 24/7 since getting clean. (luckily i have a laptop so i can take my crave reliever anywhere!! =D)

PS
This WILL NOT last...This CANNOT last...

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 8 days!!!  You are doing great so keep hanging in there.  Sleep is usually the last thing to come back but it DOES.  This whole thing is a process and it does take time to get our bodies back to normal.  Try to not beat yourself up over taking the pills.  Focus on the positive things that will be coming your way by being clean now.  Staying positive is important.  Dont apologize for posting.  You do whatever it takes to stay in this.  Keep moving forward...........sara

[jimbo326]

i wish i was as far as u are iam just getting started iam not looking foward to tonite.it will be 24 hours at 4 am. pray for me i hope the stomaches dont take over u are my insperation keep it up your there!!!

[refusingbondage]

First congrats on day 8!!!  THe first week is the worst.. you will gradually start feeling better...

Second - yeah me and everyone else wishes we never took that first pill, drink, line, smoke etc.. But... we did unfortunately and now we pay the price for that.. But realizing this and fighting it keeps us strong.   Keep talking, keep posting... its exactly what you should be doing..

There is life after drugs.. sobriety is the best feeling in the world.  Even on the bad days.

Proud of you - keep it up!

[Peg626]

Congrats on day 8!!! I'm on day 13 myself & it's kind of an "off" day. My gut is STILL not "normal" & I was up most of the night b/c of it. . . .still not too chipper today. The bad thing is, the friend that I normally hang out w/to keep busy, can't hang out w/me today. I'm trying to think of something I can go do. . . .kind of wish school was back in session so that I didn't have a choice of what I was doing. However, that's not for another 1.5 weeks so I need to pick myself up, get off my butt & DO SOMETHING. It's days like this when I'm really glad there is this forum & people like you who know what the rest of us are going through. My sleep is nowhere near normal yet so I understand what you're going through there as well. Keep posting! You should be very proud of yourself for making it through the worst part. Don't be too down on yourself. I know how you feel but just remind yourself that although you did take the first pill, you also made the decision to take the last one! And now 8 days later, you're taking steps to stay clean!

[BornofOsiris]

thank you so much everyone, once again i cant stress enough how much you guys have helped me and how much you guys mean to me!! I try hard to not beat myself about it but sometime si just cant help it. When i grew up i always had big goals for myself, i played football for 15 years and i was planning on going pro one day...Coming out of my senior year i was one of the highest recruited players in northern california. I wasnt using yet...Then before my freshman year started i got a job and it was pretty tiring, thats when i found the pills. They gave me so much energy and i thought i was just a overall better person on them. O man did i mess up...i didnt even finish my freshman year...I had it all in my way..i was starting which is almost impossible as a freshman and was a a college that produced players to pros every year! Then i blew it the pills took over and college was in the way of my addiction so i quit..didnt even finish the year and i was in the biggest slump of my life...I think this is why i beat myself up over this just cause i knew i was going to be sipping champagne and driving BMW'S every different day of the week lol but i f***** up. But i cant linger on this forever and i must move forward...And now im here day 8 so i need to keep pushing and keep motivation.

Jimbo, thats great that you are quitting it feels the greatest...Make sure you try to drink as much water as you can and try to get up and walk around...Try taking a look at the thomas receipt in the health pagers...Just dont count the valium or ultram into the diet since benzos are a whole other drug you will have to kick!! stay strong man you got this...the first 4 days really suck but from then it only gets better day by day.
Just remember every morning you wake up just tell yourself your going to have a clean day, and you will! and try to get as much support as you can, preferably family. That has kept me going the most. Just to know that there is someone there to talk to and if you want to cry you, you can right on there shoulder....

PS
This WILL NOT last...This CANNOT last...

[BIKERDAD1963]

I agree with the education part. I think doctors should explain the high risk of addictions with these pills and use it only as a last resort. Most people have no idea how fast the addiction starts. Showing films of people going thru withdrawals mite do the trick. The doctors themselves really need the education on pain pills before they start throwing them around to everyone. Keep up the great work, I admire your strength and determination.

[BornofOsiris]

Very much well agreed. Doctors write scripts so someone will write there check...its bull****. I believe that schools should spend a day a week for a drug awareness day...When i grew up, i don t remember ever having a drug awareness day...The only thing i was educated on was the typical teacher who always said "Dont do drugs there bad" and thats it...When i make it out of this i was seriously thinking about starting up a program around my area for drug awareness...The city i live in has one of the highest rates of drug abusers (mostly with meth!). I hate seeing people suffer it breaks my heart. So all i want to do is give back to the community, maybe go to schools to tell my story  and story of others to help educate and motivate these kids to literally stay away from drugs...(im only 20 so i still could have a impact on teens..plus young adults)

PS
This WILL NOT last...This CANNOT last...

[BornofOsiris]

Ok so i was going around and watching music videos of some old bands i used to listen to.. and i came across this one from a band called, "A skylit dirve"...there name explains itself there music is about spreading the word of "love" they have one of the best vocalists i EVER head, they are heavy at some parts but very inspiration and it sent chills down my spine from this video and how much it really touched me!!! The music might not be for some people but im from a different generation and something new could allways be great...here are the lyrics. The band name is "A skylit Drive" the song is called "This isnt the end" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7ttnT5OLuc&feature=related <====here is the link you can copy and paste if your feeling down trust me it helped me!!!

heres the lyrics

Starting off to face the day
Seconds away from a life with endless...
Torment my mind with the thoughts of a beginning
To show you just what I feel
To decipher what is real

There's just so much to be said
So much is running through my head
In a time staggered on the end
Maybe now can we pretend?

For a second I felt so brave
Flowing through fault lines
Wearin on my mind
Weathering
Pulsating
Technicalities set you off the stage and when you see me now and then
There will be no exchange of hands
Scratch the plans

There's just so much to be said
So much is running through my head
In a time staggered on the end
Maybe now can we pretend?

This isn't the end

There's just so much to be said
So much is running through my head
In a time staggered on the end
Maybe now can we pretend?

PS
This WILL NOT last...This CANNOT last...

[teko]

Never been addicted to pills, but nicotine has the same effect as far as the anxiety and sleeplessness. So I can relate to a point! I think ya just gotta ride it out cause if ya quit now, you gotta start from scratch agin and that aint no fun! Hang in and Hang Tuff!

[LateAugust]

I am so glad you posted and are continuing to make positives changes going forward in your life.....   You will not forget what the pills caused you to do, or the negative impact they had on your life HOWEVER it is really important to let go of the guilt.   You can correct a lot of the mistakes you may have made when using, by committing to live a poitive and productive life  today, and tomorrow.   Guilt is so nonproductive to what you are achieving now,  as I have told my daughter several times, she has no control over the past....  there is no magic want to erase her mistakes,  she does however have control over her life and how she chooses to live it today.  And that is how she is judged, on  her actions today.  With continued success in your sobriety, I am confident you will get to that point.  Take responsibility for the past, move on,  and conquer, give back today.

Hey, you were going to let me know when you went a day without smoking you know what.....  how did that go?

I am proud of you dear  you are doing great!!!!

[BornofOsiris]

Oh i almost forgot to write about it lol...it was pretty much just like another day at work i guess. Didnt really feel the need to smoke or nor did i really "want" to in the first place, i was pretty tired that morning and i didnt want to make me even more tired with smoking...but i will have to say i had a little bit more anxiety then usuall but nothing out of control. Thanks so much!

PS
This WILL NOT last...This CANNOT last...This SHALL past <===little extra was inspired from a friend =D