Old Tmers sex

Re: Old Timer Sex

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An oldie but a goodie! LOL  

Here's another:

An old, life-long bachelor accidentally finds a woman his own age who will put up with him, and after many years of dating younger women decides to give it up and propose to this one. Everyone is pleased that--the two being the same age--this relationship will perhaps work out for him and he will settle down to a life of domestic tranquility and contentment.

So, after something of a whirlwind romance, they plan a big wedding with all the trimmings and he's really looking forward to the wedding night since she has always been very shy and modest and wanted to wait until they were married before they did anything. Fortunately, he thinks, all their friends are geezers just like they are and they left the wedding reception early to go home and go to bed. So he and his new bride could, too!

The old couple retires to the honeymoon suite and, as he suspected, she doesn't want to undress in front of him. She goes into the bathroom and shuts the door while he gets into bed and lowers the lights. Finally, the bathroom door opens and she emerges, walks over to him and climbs into bed.

"I want to tell you something," the woman whispers to her new husband as he begins to kiss her.

"What is it?"

"I want you to know I have acute angina," she says.

"Well, I hope so!" he exclaims, "cause you've got the ugliest boobs I've ever seen!"

[D30]

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,



'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!'

[GoingToMakeIt]

LMAO too funny!

[Jacqui805]

Those are great, thanks for sharing! LOL

[scaredmom330]

LMAO,, thouse were great!!!!

[lady67]

That is great.  My dad would have rally loved that one.

[dominosarah]

That is too funny and that would of been right up my dads alley too!!!!

[newgirl2708]

HA!!!!