Aa
Please help me!!!
My real name is jeff, I've been addicted to perc's for about 5ys now, I have a beautiful wife and baby girl who i'm madly in love with. They are my reason for living. about a year ago my wife got fed up with my broken promises and cheated on me with another man. Now i don't want you to get me wrong, i don't blame her. i honestly believe she just didn't think i would ever change, and to be quite honest at the time i really didn't want to... I waited for her for nearly a year and was clean for about that amout of time. But a while after she came back i started using again....You see, my wife takes oxycodone for her back, for good reason so even as much as she tries to keep them out of reach, i will be around them for the rest of my life....Lately i have found someone at work that has them and he i on a much higher dosage, therefore the withdral when i don't have them is undescribable painful and uncomfotable. On top of all that my job is EXTREMLY labour intensive and i can bearly function at work when i'm of them. Now out of all of this the only thing that is killing me inside is that i can sense my wife is falling out of love with me again...Not that she is being unfaithful again, but that her heart isn't with me right now...I don't want to lose her again...i honestly don't think i'd make it this time...how do i make myself QUIT....How do i make myself WANT to quit????
PLEASE HELP ME!!!
jeff
PLEASE HELP ME!!!
jeff
Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to read of your troubles with the spouse. I think you should take a good look at your addiction. It is tough to get off the pills and I have tried 4 times. The longest I made it was 24 days. I don't even know why I went back. I was starting to really feel good and life was looking up for me. I received another rx and filled it. It was the dumbest thing I could have done. You will look at your life a lot differently after you have been clean for awhile. I am going to post the Thomas Recipe for you. A lot of people tell me it works. I also have a taper plan if you want to go that route. The people on this forum will support you through this and be here for you. Good luck and God Bless.
TimPLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas
THOMAS RECIPE
If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.
For the Recipe, You'll need:
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper, Magnesium and Potassium (you may not find the potassium in the same supplement).
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Start the vitamin/mineral supplement right away (or the first day you can keep it down), preferably with food. Potassium early in the detox is important to help relieve RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Bananas are a good source of potassium if you can't find a supplement for it.
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
Thomas
TimPLEASE NOTE: I am not a doctor, simply a long-time Rx opiate junkie who has had many opportunities to develop a way to detox. This is a recipe for at-home self-detox from opiates based on my experience as well as that of many other addicts. It is not intended as professional medical advice. It is always wise to make sure none of the recipe ingredients or procedures conflict with medications you may be taking. Likewise, if you have any medical condition, disease, allergy or any other health issue, consult your doctor before using the recipe. Thanks, Thomas
THOMAS RECIPE
If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.
For the Recipe, You'll need:
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper, Magnesium and Potassium (you may not find the potassium in the same supplement).
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Start the vitamin/mineral supplement right away (or the first day you can keep it down), preferably with food. Potassium early in the detox is important to help relieve RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Bananas are a good source of potassium if you can't find a supplement for it.
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
Thomas
I know what you are saying, and I really didn't mean to disrespect your wife. It just pissed me off when I read she cheated on you. I have a thing about infidelity in marriage. And, funny enough, I have never cheated or been cheated on but I have a good friend who is more like a brother to me (he's my best bud in the whole world, other than my husband :) ) and his wife cheated on him for kind of the same reason your wife cheated on you. And MAN, it pissed me off. Still does. I mean, marriage is sacred to me. It really is. And it is to God, too. I guess what I am trying to say is if you can forgive her and work out your marriage then that's great. But you shouldn't have to live in a fear she is gonna do it again because you are an addict. You remind me so much of my friend brad. You really do. I hope all works out for you both. I really do. And you know what? I think you are too hard on yourself. Your wife is actually pretty dang lucky to have YOU and that you took her back after she cheated. Alot of men wouldn't have taken her back but you did. I bet you haven't thought of that, have you. Seriously....you are too hard on yourself. Again, I apologize but this is a touchy subject for me...I went through boxes of kleenex and many of nights on the phone with Brad when his %#% wife left him for his best friend. (ugh, don't even get me started on THAT)
He took her back too, last month. You know what? She did it again. and again. and.....you get the picture. Okay I'm done rambling. I pray that both of you can work out your marriage. You said you are christians? Maybe Pastor of your church can help you both and give you some biblical guidance along with support/marriage counseling? That can never hurt ya know. I'll keep u both in my prayers.
Ivy
He took her back too, last month. You know what? She did it again. and again. and.....you get the picture. Okay I'm done rambling. I pray that both of you can work out your marriage. You said you are christians? Maybe Pastor of your church can help you both and give you some biblical guidance along with support/marriage counseling? That can never hurt ya know. I'll keep u both in my prayers.
Ivy
So when u say amino acids you mean like that protein shake stuff? because i've kinda tryed that and it doesn't seem to have much effect. Any in paticular to try?
see i think thats where her frustration with me comes from...is that other than trying to quit by just not taking them, and talking to a few people is really all i have truly done about it! I guess she's right, how would i believe her that she was trying if she didn't try everything possible...probably doesn't seem to her that i'm really trying at all...
anytime, buddy... and for what it's worth, what have you got to lose by trying it? trying something new in your effort?as well, i think the saying (and belief) in "one day at a time" is so so very wise.. thinking "forever" is way to daunting and scary and big..
so when you decide to quit, try to tell yourself, all i have to get through is TODAY. or even the next 15 minutes if you have to... then hightail your a@@ here or to a sponser or support group! :-)
you can do it, buddy... and if you ever need to talk i'm around. i am heading off to bed now (i had an epidural today and without boring you with the incredibly boring details (lol) i felt like i was gonna die..) so this kid is tired! but i will be back tomorrow..
you really can do it tho buddy... many have.
God bless and warm wishes...
:)
mj
so when you decide to quit, try to tell yourself, all i have to get through is TODAY. or even the next 15 minutes if you have to... then hightail your a@@ here or to a sponser or support group! :-)
you can do it, buddy... and if you ever need to talk i'm around. i am heading off to bed now (i had an epidural today and without boring you with the incredibly boring details (lol) i felt like i was gonna die..) so this kid is tired! but i will be back tomorrow..
you really can do it tho buddy... many have.
God bless and warm wishes...
:)
mj
Ofcourse i say all this having 1 left....tommorrow when it's gonna is when it's hard to keep this same additude.!
Sometimes we cant "nip it in the bud" ourselves. I totally understand about not being able to take off work. I work in the school system so we are out for the summer which makes it a bit easier for me.
There has GOT to be a dr somewhere up there that will help you with at home medical care. Go back to your NA meetings. Get into a support group within your church. You may be amazed at the people that "may" be in your church that has a problem with either drugs or alcohol. These demons are not limited to stay outside the walls of Christians. Heck, I am a Deacons Wife, pianist at our church and former co-youth leader. I quit leading the youth when I realized I had a problem with pills. Addictions doesn't limit itself to just any one group.
You say that you wont be getting much support from your wife. Try sitting down with her and explaining to her that you want to be clean and yet you don't because you have a problem. If she truly loves you, she will walk this road with you as long as you are willing to help YOURSELF. She can't do it for you, but she can be there for you......I hope I am not confusing you too much.
It sounds like there is hope, but you need to make the decision to do it for yourself and realize that you if you don't, you WILL lose everything that seems to matter to you. Which is more important....it has taken me a long time to really come to that place in my life...
There has GOT to be a dr somewhere up there that will help you with at home medical care. Go back to your NA meetings. Get into a support group within your church. You may be amazed at the people that "may" be in your church that has a problem with either drugs or alcohol. These demons are not limited to stay outside the walls of Christians. Heck, I am a Deacons Wife, pianist at our church and former co-youth leader. I quit leading the youth when I realized I had a problem with pills. Addictions doesn't limit itself to just any one group.
You say that you wont be getting much support from your wife. Try sitting down with her and explaining to her that you want to be clean and yet you don't because you have a problem. If she truly loves you, she will walk this road with you as long as you are willing to help YOURSELF. She can't do it for you, but she can be there for you......I hope I am not confusing you too much.
It sounds like there is hope, but you need to make the decision to do it for yourself and realize that you if you don't, you WILL lose everything that seems to matter to you. Which is more important....it has taken me a long time to really come to that place in my life...
copy that, sister! i have done the same... but i want to be my best self now, again. it feels so much better in every way than any drug..
i wish you lots of love, peace and success on your recovery - it sounds to me you are going to do it this time for good! i mean that... and good for you! :-)
God bless... and warm wishes...
with luv,
mj
i wish you lots of love, peace and success on your recovery - it sounds to me you are going to do it this time for good! i mean that... and good for you! :-)
God bless... and warm wishes...
with luv,
mj
You Know your damn right i will lose her! To be honest i'm sick and tired of feeling like i'm letting everyone i love down all the damn time...pordon my french...but i really do love my wife and if that means not being able to be high anymore than so be it! What have i got to loose by trying Councilling...you no i think the reason i haven't so far is that maybe i'm afraid it will actually work...and i will never beable to have one again.
thank you for your honesty
jeff
thank you for your honesty
jeff
You are so right when you say that our kids are not getting the "best daddy" or "best mamma".
My kids and hubby have lost so much of me since my addiction became an addiction almost 5 yrs ago. I really noticed it just 2 yrs ago and "neglected" to do something about it.
I am feeling so much better now that I have gotten my plan together. I didn't have a plan the other times I have tried to quit. I now focus on all the reasons why I HAVE to quit. I want "my" mind back and not the "buzzed mind" that I have had for a long time.
The affair with Lortab has ended.....one second, one minute, one day at a time....
My kids and hubby have lost so much of me since my addiction became an addiction almost 5 yrs ago. I really noticed it just 2 yrs ago and "neglected" to do something about it.
I am feeling so much better now that I have gotten my plan together. I didn't have a plan the other times I have tried to quit. I now focus on all the reasons why I HAVE to quit. I want "my" mind back and not the "buzzed mind" that I have had for a long time.
The affair with Lortab has ended.....one second, one minute, one day at a time....
Well, i can honestly say that i have not been good at going to see a doctor about this, partly because i don't have one....i live in ontario Canada and if i wanna see a doctor about this i gotta stand in line at a walk-in clinic for 2 hrs....I no I no...its no excuse! Last time i talked to the clinic doc about it he told me to check into rehab,,,that he couldn't help....and they said they needed me in for a month or not at all....well i can't take a month off of work!!! not and have a job when i get back...as for the councilling that i've been thinking alot about lately...maybe it's time i realize i ain't gonna nip this in the bud myself? I'm sorry to say that i don't believe i will be getting much support from my wife again until i start making some signifigent progress....
You hit the nail on the head when you said, "But there's just a part of me that no's how much easier life is with them."
That is what I tell myself everyday when I had the pills. BUT....and This is a BIG BUT, I remember back in April when I was clean for almost 21 days how the "fog" lifted in my brain. I saw things so much clearer when I was not on the pills.
When I got back on them, life was easier and when troubles or hurts came my way I would just pop a pill and wait for the "feel good" sensation. I didn't want to face life on life's terms. I ran. I hid behind the pills.
I have lost so much time with my husband and girls. This may seem strange, but it's like I had and "affair" with pain pills. They were the most important part of my life. Nothing else mattered to me except what date was the earliest I could get my script filled and when I could make my next appt with my Dr. to get another script. Its a VICIOUS VICIOUS cycle. Only we can break it. It is our choice.
If you don't feel like you can do it on your own, please please visit your dr and come clean with him/her. There are medical ways to get by the painful wd's. I just can't go that route for me right now.
Do it for yourself...please please
That is what I tell myself everyday when I had the pills. BUT....and This is a BIG BUT, I remember back in April when I was clean for almost 21 days how the "fog" lifted in my brain. I saw things so much clearer when I was not on the pills.
When I got back on them, life was easier and when troubles or hurts came my way I would just pop a pill and wait for the "feel good" sensation. I didn't want to face life on life's terms. I ran. I hid behind the pills.
I have lost so much time with my husband and girls. This may seem strange, but it's like I had and "affair" with pain pills. They were the most important part of my life. Nothing else mattered to me except what date was the earliest I could get my script filled and when I could make my next appt with my Dr. to get another script. Its a VICIOUS VICIOUS cycle. Only we can break it. It is our choice.
If you don't feel like you can do it on your own, please please visit your dr and come clean with him/her. There are medical ways to get by the painful wd's. I just can't go that route for me right now.
Do it for yourself...please please
Amino acids help ALOT.... they actually help the brain rebuild from the abuse.. which in turn helps cravings and the mental part..
You should get a addiction counselor for yourself and a marriage counselor for you and your wife..
Keep posting here for support... it does help..
Welcome
Stephanie
Day 44
You should get a addiction counselor for yourself and a marriage counselor for you and your wife..
Keep posting here for support... it does help..
Welcome
Stephanie
Day 44
I WISH I NEVER WOULD HAVE TOUCHED THE FIRST ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See when i went to NA that's what they said too...get away from it...well thats a big problem in my case cosidering my wife having to take them....and me having to work! And unfortunatly the job that i have right now pays great, has awsome benifits and is in my trade sooooo......you know what i mean...i've also been a christian for quite some time now...obviously being closer to God at other times than of late. actually i even play drums at my church...i've even been honest with my small group...
well, realizing you will probably lose your wife and child should at some point MAKE you want to quit. does some part of you not really believe that could happen? it sounds to me like it will...
YES you will go thru w/d, and YES you will go thru the energy problems, etc.. BUT, they do return. recently i've read ALOT of research that says at (about) 90 days clean the brains chemisty actually changes... you crave the drug less, some hardly at all (but support is still strongly recommended.)
i suggest you get into a support group. if you don't want your wife to know you started using again, tell her you're getting cravings and you want to go "to nip in in the bud." i personally don't blame your wife for your addiction if she has legitimate pain... but i am not blaming you for the position you are in either - or judging you - we all here are either in it, or just out of it, or always either fighting or being diligent about it.
in my opinion, you have to try a new approach to quitting this time. can't fix the same problem with the same mindset that created it - obviously it's not working... and as harsh as this sounds, i would have to bet you will lose your family if you don't quit. and even if you don't, your daughter will never get her "best daddy" while you are using.. nor will you feel the "truest joy" that only a child can bring... the depth and bredth of it..
i wish you so much luck. and please keep posting here... it is so helpful.
God bless to you...
mj
YES you will go thru w/d, and YES you will go thru the energy problems, etc.. BUT, they do return. recently i've read ALOT of research that says at (about) 90 days clean the brains chemisty actually changes... you crave the drug less, some hardly at all (but support is still strongly recommended.)
i suggest you get into a support group. if you don't want your wife to know you started using again, tell her you're getting cravings and you want to go "to nip in in the bud." i personally don't blame your wife for your addiction if she has legitimate pain... but i am not blaming you for the position you are in either - or judging you - we all here are either in it, or just out of it, or always either fighting or being diligent about it.
in my opinion, you have to try a new approach to quitting this time. can't fix the same problem with the same mindset that created it - obviously it's not working... and as harsh as this sounds, i would have to bet you will lose your family if you don't quit. and even if you don't, your daughter will never get her "best daddy" while you are using.. nor will you feel the "truest joy" that only a child can bring... the depth and bredth of it..
i wish you so much luck. and please keep posting here... it is so helpful.
God bless to you...
mj
Yes. I absolutely know what you are talking about. In April, my longest time clean was right at 21 days. I had cravings, but the mental part was/is the toughest. That is where we all MUST have a plan whether it be the 12 step program or just a personal plan for staying clean. Mine is through reading The Big Book and amino acids. Communicating with my husband or best friend when the times get really "tough" and the urge to use is great. These cravings usually last only 15-20 min or so for me.
Google PAWS. Unfortunately some folks suffer from these type symptoms for years. That is where the amino acids come into play. They really do work.
The mental part of recovery is much worse than the physical part. Support from family, friends and total separation from anyone who you have access to pills. Its a whole new lifestyle.
High stress times are the toughest for me. That is when I tear out for a FAST walk or fall to my knees in prayer for help. Surrender is tough, but we can overcome.
For me it is a second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day thing. I wish is were easier, but it is doable.
My brother just made 19 yrs of sustained recovery from alcohol and drugs. He did it thru AA and surrendering to the Lord.
Search and find where you can get your strength from. It is so easy to say that, but I find it hard to gather strength everyday. It is by the Grace of God I have not died from the use of pain killers throughout the years. I am amazed at what I have done to my body.
Google PAWS. Unfortunately some folks suffer from these type symptoms for years. That is where the amino acids come into play. They really do work.
The mental part of recovery is much worse than the physical part. Support from family, friends and total separation from anyone who you have access to pills. Its a whole new lifestyle.
High stress times are the toughest for me. That is when I tear out for a FAST walk or fall to my knees in prayer for help. Surrender is tough, but we can overcome.
For me it is a second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day thing. I wish is were easier, but it is doable.
My brother just made 19 yrs of sustained recovery from alcohol and drugs. He did it thru AA and surrendering to the Lord.
Search and find where you can get your strength from. It is so easy to say that, but I find it hard to gather strength everyday. It is by the Grace of God I have not died from the use of pain killers throughout the years. I am amazed at what I have done to my body.
WOOOO i appreiate your intentions, but nobody said my wife didn't try to get them out of my face, Nor did she ever say what she did was justified...infact she has appoligizied perfusly. I'm the idiot here...I'm the one that said whatever she wanted to hear just so i could get some cash for the next pill...and the next...and the next.....FOR 5 YEARS. As i said once i couldn't get them from her anymore because she bought a lock box, i started buying them from a couple of guys at work...then once all the money going out couldn't be accounted for anymore...i started stealing them from my friend...she has just simply heard it all from me before....I swear my intentions are sencere. But there's just a part of me that no's how much easier life is with them.
See that is one of my biggest problems, is getting though the first 5 days...after that it's more of a mind game than anything....the last time i quit for 8 days, and i didn;t even really want it. But all it takes is pondering on the thought of it for more than a second and it's then near impossible to stop myself from finding them. I had this feeling still after 3 mths of quitting when my wife left....does this draw to it ever go away....as i said about job, it makes it that much more hard to not want it because of the boost in energy i get from it....i have not found anything that even comes close to it.
and when off it...i'm so tired i trip over my own feet
and when off it...i'm so tired i trip over my own feet
Oh...wait a minute here. First of all, I think its crappy of your wife to have cheated on you. For better or worse, that's the vows she took, remember? And to cheat on you.....blech. That's just wrong in my opinion. Second of all, yeah, she may have a back problem but she also knows you have a pill problem so I think its also crappy of her to leave them in the house around you. What, she can't take them to a friend's house or something to make it easier on you? Uh-Uh. Sorry but I really lost any kind of sympathy for her when you said she was unfaithful. If it was that bad for her then she should have divorced you----not cheated on you.
So sorry about your situation. The only thing I can tell you is that you are only going to quit when you decide to quit for you and for you only. I really don't want that to sound harsh. I am now on day 5 of a 5-6 Lortab 10 addiction that I have had for almost 5 yrs or more. Fortunately my hubby doesn't use. He is aware of my addiction and is very supportive. However, he was very disappointed when I was honest with him just 3 days ago that I was on day 2 of c/t wd's for the 4th time.
As far as the wife and your relationship, I think counseling would be the right direction at this point, of course I am by far not a specialist. Just someone who has lived thru hubby having an "emotional" affair with a woman at work almost 10 yrs ago. Counseling doesn't have to be costly. Many pastors offer this service free of charge. We couldn't afford the hi-tech counseling, but we did seek out pastoral counseling and it has helped tremendously. It showed each of us the areas that we were lacking from not only each other but most importantly to ourselves. I am working everyday on learning how to "love myself". I find it really hard to love someone when I can't even love myself. I hope this makes sense. I have heard from a good friend who is in sustained recovery that it takes a long time to figure that one out as an addict.
I would really advise you to get clean for yourself first of all. Then work on your relationship with your wife. Maybe she can help you be accountable. But with her having to take the meds for legit reasons it may be hard. I really can't say this is so, because I do not know you or the situation. I hope I am making sense here. Sometimes I confuse myself when I am trying to work out my inner problems.
I do look for God for strength and direction. He has been my source of strength in my times of horrible weakness....
Hang in there....do it for yourself. I will pray for you tonite.
Recovery is a journey, not a destination.
Until Then,
LL
As far as the wife and your relationship, I think counseling would be the right direction at this point, of course I am by far not a specialist. Just someone who has lived thru hubby having an "emotional" affair with a woman at work almost 10 yrs ago. Counseling doesn't have to be costly. Many pastors offer this service free of charge. We couldn't afford the hi-tech counseling, but we did seek out pastoral counseling and it has helped tremendously. It showed each of us the areas that we were lacking from not only each other but most importantly to ourselves. I am working everyday on learning how to "love myself". I find it really hard to love someone when I can't even love myself. I hope this makes sense. I have heard from a good friend who is in sustained recovery that it takes a long time to figure that one out as an addict.
I would really advise you to get clean for yourself first of all. Then work on your relationship with your wife. Maybe she can help you be accountable. But with her having to take the meds for legit reasons it may be hard. I really can't say this is so, because I do not know you or the situation. I hope I am making sense here. Sometimes I confuse myself when I am trying to work out my inner problems.
I do look for God for strength and direction. He has been my source of strength in my times of horrible weakness....
Hang in there....do it for yourself. I will pray for you tonite.
Recovery is a journey, not a destination.
Until Then,
LL
I meant to add for you to check into amino acid therapy for wd's. They have really really helped me along with others on the board.
Get Dr. Charles Gant's book "End Your Addiction Now" and Julia Ross's book, "The Mood Cure". They are excellent books that will help you in getting to the root of possibly why we use in the first place. It'ts all about brain chemistry.
It aint easy, but with the amino's, it makes it a heck of alot easier.
I am really really sorry about your situation with your wife. It brings back so many bad memories for me. BUT YOU CAN WORK THROUGH IT ALL....communication is the key...and honesty.
Get Dr. Charles Gant's book "End Your Addiction Now" and Julia Ross's book, "The Mood Cure". They are excellent books that will help you in getting to the root of possibly why we use in the first place. It'ts all about brain chemistry.
It aint easy, but with the amino's, it makes it a heck of alot easier.
I am really really sorry about your situation with your wife. It brings back so many bad memories for me. BUT YOU CAN WORK THROUGH IT ALL....communication is the key...and honesty.
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