Please help

[Along_and_scared]

Hi to all, thank you for taking your time to read my story. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I'm addicted to OxyContin for a few years now. I DO NOT buy them off the street I had few health problems and had to take them. I will tell you honestly my in tire story, I hope this will be one place where I can just open myself finally in order to get some support, any support. God knows I really need it. My pain stopped, I have no need to take my meds any longer , but over the course of 2 years I got addicted to them. I moved to a different country for my husbands job and I have medication from my doctor with me, he gave it to me just in case for a few months ahead plus he gave me pretty much 3 times stronger dose , so I have it for more then 6 months all together . I got pregnant and I found myself in a situation where I'm pregnant and addicted. My current ob doc knows about my meds, and I don't think he even realizes what it is... All they have here is tramadol for pain or morphing in er.  I lived every day with my addiction, growing belly and constant hate to myself for not being strong enough to stop. I lowered my dose to 30mg OxyContin per day in 2 days, then to 5mg in next 2. And today i took nothing. that was hard - please realize that you talking to a person who has almost full bag of pills just laying and looking at you wile you trying to stop for good... And I'm not a bad person, I'm not a bad mother - please don't judge me, I'm an addict and I try to do my best. I'm human, I'm weak when it came down to stoping. I admit it. I eat myself alive enough, I don't need it from any more people.. I just pray to god that my baby will not have withdrawals, I stopped too late, I know..... Today is my first day completely clean off pills. I won't touch it again. Believe it or not and for some people it will be hard to read but I just flushed in the toilet more then 300 OxyContin pills and I left to myself 15 just in case if I get really bad.  I'm crying myself to sleep every night for such a long time , I can't stand the fact that I am so weak. And I dragged it for soooo long. All I want right now is a miracle. All I truly want is for someone to tell me that I was not too late and there is a chance for my angel to be born good and healthy. And I want to be strong enough not to touch any more pills and stay strong for my baby. I know there is 1000's girls in the same situation as I am and my heart goes to you.. Thank you again for your support in advance and if you have any advise on what I can do to make it easier on baby or better please feel free to write me, or if anyone goes through same thing - I'm here for you

[Theobaldm1989]

You don't need to make excuses for yourself first of all. Addiction is a disease and I am not here to judge you because you are addicted and pregnant. As unfortunate as it is for both parties, I cannot judge. I am glad you are off them. With oxy, and I do not want to give you a reason to pick back up, there has been little reports of fetal damage when parents use oxy while pregnant. Though there is still always that chance. Though this isn't the only issue. We want you to stay sober even after the birth of your baby. You need to find a recovery program, AA, something. Talk to people. Addiction is hard, I would know, but I believe you can do this. Not with will power, but with the power of other people around you in recovery!

[addict3]

Please copy and paste this and put it in the Substance Abuse Community. There are some really great folks there and this won't be seen by very many people here.

I promise you will get great responses from many good women who have been there and can help you out. You're going to be ok.