Step-Mother who doesn't want to leave them

I have been married 8 years to an alcoholic and drug addict. Five years ago, my husband's children moved in with us. I have grown so fond of these kids and love them very much. Their father and I have not been getting along. He is not responsible, will not hold down a job, and does not take much responsibility to the kids (typical addict behavior). He basically does what he wants because he knows I am attached to the kids and vice versa and he knows I will not leave him because of them. The other night we got in a really bad fight and it turned physical. He had me down choking me while I was hitting him with my cell on the head. Somehow I busted his head. The kids were in the room, but I could hear my 8 year old daughter screaming and crying. The thought of it makes me cry now!!! I really need some advice because I am torn. I love them kids but I don't love my husband. Their mothers are not active in their lives so I am all that they have. I am so scared to leave and them not being taken care of. They have told me they do not want me to leave them. I just don't know what to do. My husband has been to rehab twice, but he did not follow through with the program. He drinks and pops pills. He is in denial and thinks he does nothing wrong. Any advice?

[Sonrissa]

Hi Shellz, and welcome! First, this sounds like a truly awful situation and I'm so very sorry you are dealing with this! I remember as a child, my mother and father would get into horrible and violent fights, while my 3 little sisters and I would sit on the stairs crying and watching the whole thing! It really affected me my whole life! I never married and had any children, in part, I think because of going through this! You have got to stop this from happening especially around the children! Even if you have to get up and walk away! Get out of the house, whatever! Please do not subject those children to that!

Second, please check into organizations like Alanon or Naranon! They are for families of alcoholics and drug addicts! You will get advice and amazing support from people who are, or have been in your situation! You might also check into getting some legal advice! At least know your rights or options! Also there is another forum here for people living with addicts. You might try posting your story there and you will get additional advice and support!

Please take care of yourself and those innocent children! I'm so glad that they have you in their lives! I wish you the very best, and I will keep you in my prayers! Keep posting, and please seek some outside help! Good luck!