Tapering, counting, crying....

[debsally]

Okay you guys, If I ever needed you, I NEED YOU NOW!!!  It has started.  Yesterday we started with 4 Soma 5 times a day.  I have all the pills and count them out in the morning.  I think it was a big cut down because she may have been taking 30 - 40 a day and now she is on 20, so that is a big jump, but we had to start somewhere.  

Last night she got really upset, had a major anxiety attack and was a bit freaked out.  I really didn't know what to do accept sit and cry with her and rub her back and tell her how brave and strong she is and how much I love her.  So first thing this morning it started again.  I told her that all the feelings she was supressing with the Soma are all going to come out and they will not kill her.  She know and agrees, but is really beating herself up saying she got herself into this mess and is so angry with herself.  She is not coming back to work today.  It is a long story, but she blames this company for making her worse and treating her badly, which they totally did and I fully support her not coming back to work here.

Anyway,  it was so hard to just count out her pills and cry with her a little and love on her a little and then leave and come to work.  It was soooooooooooo hard, but I have to work especially now that she really isn't working.  I put her on a pill schedule and if she runs out I told her she is shyt out of luck because I wont give her any more.

I need to know what to expect.  I am going to go back and read FLhubby's post and email it to myself so I can print it out.  Now remember you guys, she is still taking oxy 3x a day and norco 4 times a day for pain.  I pray she doesn't load up on those to ease her emotional pain.  Please, please, please pray for her.  I am so scared now.  She keeps telling me that this is what she wants but I am starting to see how hard it will be.

Any sugggestions on the tapering????  Right now I am thinking of this..........
today.................1 oxy and 4 soma at 8am
                         2 norco &  4 soma at 11am
                         1 oxy and 4 soma at 2pm
                         2 norco and 4 soma at 5pm
                         1 oxy and 4 soma at 8pm
                          tylenol pm to help sleep
Also I gave her a multi vitamin and her B vitamin and calcium to take w/ breakfast, but she has already lost her appetite and only ate 3 frozen pancakes for breakfast, cereal at dinner and a penut butter and jelly before bed.

I am doing the right thing!!!  I am doing the right thing!!!  I am doing the right thing!!!  It will all be worth it.  I feel like the bad guy.  I'm afraid she is going to hate me.  I have to remember it is the drugs that make her feel so angry that she says mean things, right?

I am so scared.

Pray for me.

love always,

Debbie
                          

[TimH2]

Great post!!!! Welcome to the forum.

[teenutz]

My blessings are always with you. Give us an update when you can. Take care!

[debsally]

thank you for sharing, welcome and thank you for your blessings. i recieve them and pitch them right back to you.  your story is amazing and i hope i get to chat some more when i can,
maybe later this afternoon.

thanks again and looking forward to more chats.

love,

debbie

[teenutz]

I am new to this forum, and I have not written to you before. I feel for you right now. You are doing the right thing with the tapering in this case. I am a recovering drug addict who was addicted to Vicoden and Valium, along with many other pills and drugs. I quit the hard stuff awhile back, but the pills were tough to kick. I was popping 15 Vicodin a day, and God only knows how many Valium on top of it. I did this for years, and got numerous pain pills from my doctors and by stealing from people's medicine cabinets. I have a degree in psychology ironically, and I learned how to write prescriptions in shorthand form. I stole doctor's prescription pads with their Narcotic script number on it and wham I had the hook up for many years. It caught up to me. Rehab failed me. One day, after almost losing my house, my wife, and ultimately my life, I decided enough was enough and quit. Tossed everything, and my wife helped me. I can't tell you the hell I went through with withdrawal. A week straight of vomiting, sweating, hallucinations, and punching holes in the walls. I almost died from doing that, but I played the tapering game many times before and it just never worked for me. I would just end up abusing again. Anyway, everyone is different and I think you need to continue the tapering process. I also take Soma right now for my back. I am having problems with it myself. I have been taking more and more to acheive pain relief and I am scared to death about getting hooked. I am going to talk to my doctor about it, because I need a good pain killer for my back (I have a disc problem), but I don't want to get hooked. Most muscle relaxers have never done a thing for me, but Soma works real well, too well, and it is addicting. It has some kind of sedative in it, that's what makes it addicting from other muscle relaxers. I worry about the fact she is taking Norco and oxycodone for pain. Those are also addicting and can make getting off the Soma even harder since she has probably associated a certain kind of high by taking the Soma with the other pills. Stripping her of one will reduce that high, and she is not going to like it one bit. Sounds like she has a very high tolerance, but I believe you are doing the right thing by weening her off. I know so much about drugs and different classes of drugs because of my college education and my real life experience with them. I became a victim of my own profession. Keep tapering her off the Soma, and make sure she is eating well. Be with her as much as you can. She is going to go through some withdrawal no matter what because of the dosage she was taking. This will be hellish and frightening but you seem like a strong person, and any individual who is willing to help someone go through that is a fighter, and so is she. Thank God she has made the commitment to quit! I will pray for the both of you. Hang in there, you will make it through all of this. The sad thing is that all of these drugs (Soma, Vicodin, Oxycodone, Percodan etc) are really beneficial and needed by people in our society for medical purposes. It is the way we use these drugs that gives them a bad rap. I blame doctors for this to a certain extent because I believe they overprescribe these drugs, when they should only be used on a short term basis unless there is serious medical illness or injury involved. Even so, it is the doctor's responsibility to switch out meds so you don't become hooked on something. Someone taking Vicodin for a few weeks, should be re-evaluated and switched onto a different pain med like Darvocet or Ty3 or Talwin to reduce the chances of addiction. Staying on the same meds for too long is a big part of the problem for many people, and I blame the professionals for this, although some people do intentionally abuse these drugs. Anyway, good luck to you, and I will do anything I can to help out. God Bless You!!!!            

[debsally]

and "trials and tribulations are blessings in disguise".

I BELIEVE!!!

love,

Deb

[2be1999]

remember were there is a shadow, there is a light

[avisg]

this is all alot you are allowed to have a bad day girl. This does not just effect the person with the problem it effects the whole family . Having all of this on your shoulders Is difficult you will get the brunt of her pain and her anger and on top of that you will have your pain and anger and a job to keep and kids to care for .THAT IS ALOT !!!!!!. Try to find a few moments a day to JUST breath .
Let me know if there is anything i can do to help.

Avis

[debsally]

thank you.

lisa I will send you a message soon, but i'm really busy at work today so i'll try asap.

avis, she gets 90 soma a month from her doc and buys the rest in mexico.  but she has made her last trip there.  i think we have enough for the taper and then that is it. no more.

that is my prayer, my hope.

thankyou for being here. for some reason I am the one having a hard time today.

love,
Debbie

[avisg]

Debbie, how are things going today? There is nothing wrong with counting we addicts will, lie cheat and steal if we want a drug bad enough .That is a really hard thing for me to say and hear myself say but its the truth.Does she get all of her somas from doctors or has she been buying offline as well ? I only wonder because that is going to be hard if she is . Debbie you are a wonderful person
Dont ever forget that !!!!!! we are all here for you .
Avis

[liscamdave]

I am not sure if I am familiar with your story, can you fill me in when you get a chance...

Take Care, Lisa

[debsally]

Thank you!!  So much!!  How are you doing on day 9.  Talk to me!

cuddles,

Debs

[TimH2]

You are really doing a great job taking care of Sally. I can't tell you enough how lucky she is. You have taken the bull right by the horns. Your love story is amazing and you are such a great person. I just wanted to let you know how much I respect you. I am praying for the both of you and although it is going to take some time, you will make it through this together.

God Bless,
Tim

[TimH2]

You have really done your homework and give such excellent advice. You are a success story and we need many more of them.

Hope your day is going well.

Tim

[FLaddict]

Protein is good.. load her up.. helps rebuild the damages neurotransmitters in the brains that make us have cravings.. i would try to limit and sugar binging if you can. i would also get her taking Vitamin c get the Ester C buffered form this can also help with cravings.  Also calcium and magnesium work together to help relax the muscles naturally so that may help too..

If you need any help at all don't hesitate.. I am usually on the other forum but if you need me just send me a message to my inbox and i will help any way i can..

XOXO
stephanie

[debsally]

I am so proud and scared.  I came home from work and we were talking.  She told me about her struggles today and how unfair it is that I have to put up with so much.  Then she told me she has a prescription for soma that is too soon to fill and she wanted to transfer it to costco so she could pick it up and pay cash.....BUT SHE DIDN'T.  She said she knew that she would have to hide it from me and is so tired of feeling ashamed all the time.  I told her how proud I am and how brave and amazing she is.  I told her how amazing it is that we can talk openly about this and that we are trusting eachother.

You guys know...she is really struggling.  And it is only day 1.  So I said we should keep her on this dose for a couple of days before we start to lower her.  She agrees since we jumped down so far so fast.  Also, I am counting the soma before I go to bed so I will know if she tries to sneak any in the middle of the night.  Is that okay???

Thanks everyone for listening and for caring.

I will make dinner, she wants protein, so that is good.  We will have an early night and she has stuff to keep her busy tomorrow.

Keep praying.  This has to work.

love,

Debbie

[road2recovery]

you sound so much better, now that you have a plan...i agree with what everyone has said here, and you can see how loved you are..
you are a very kind and loving soul!!!
One day at a time...
She is lucky to have you
the best of luck to you both
r2r

[tzt2lady]

You are just awesom and are sooooooo doing the right thing.   I know for many, the soma gives the norco a "kick" and when I would run out of soma, the norco didnt work as good so I would take more.

I dont know if she will or not.   I think focusing on the soma is a great idea but we dont want the norco's/oxy to get too  high either.   Could you find our how much norco/oxy she normally takes and then help her to stick to that?  Or would it be too much for her to think about right now.  

That way you could leave her only her daily allowance of ALL drugs.

Keep up the great work and hang on to your arse, it will  be a bit of a ride it sounds like, at least for a few days.

bless you both
tzt

[tzt2lady]

You are just awesom and are sooooooo doing the right thing.   I know for many, the soma gives the norco a "kick" and when I would run out of soma, the norco didnt work as good so I would take more.

I dont know if she will or not.   I think focusing on the soma is a great idea but we dont want the norco's/oxy to get too  high either.   Could you find our how much norco/oxy she normally takes and then help her to stick to that?  Or would it be too much for her to think about right now.  

That way you could leave her only her daily allowance of ALL drugs.

Keep up the great work and hang on to your arse, it will  be a bit of a ride it sounds like, at least for a few days.

bless you both
tzt

[debsally]

thank you so so so much.  will do.

have to get home to my woman.

love you all

Debs

[FLaddict]

Sorry i was out most of the afternoon.. What you have so far is good.. i would however drop the middle doses first and leave the morning and night the same.. that way she gets the same amount before bed which is always the hardest time.. so i would worry about the middle doses then work your way out..
Does that make sense??
I am here if you need me.. you can also send me a message if you don't see me posting

[hopeless]

You are a sweet sweet lady! Yes, i might have been through alot, but you know something, i am not quite there yet. I am still fighting this fight everyday, and will continue to do so until i am 100% complete again. I know i have such a long way to go yet. What you are doing for Sally, is so wonderful, i really do mean that. I wish i had someone here who gave me that much support. What i hear is "Get over it" "Enough is Enough" and other things like, we are going to end up divorced if you don't deal with your issues. I mean he is supportive and all, but he thinks i should be over this in a few weeks. I try and tell him it don't work that way, and that i am sorry and i am trying, but he just don't quite understand. So when i see you posting on here and crying out for help for someone that you truely love, it just makes me think, "damm i want that" Sally is truely blessed to have you in her life. Someday when she is all better, trust me, she WILL thank you for all you have done for her.

I will ALWAYS be here for you, always!!

Love,
Hopey

[debsally]

Thank you for sharing that success story.  You all mean so much to me, more than ever!!!  I am so busy right now but will keep popping in. Hope, you are such an inspiration to me.  I first found this site right when you went into the hospital and we thought we were going to loose you.  That is when I got serious about talking to her about the soma.  Because what happened to you scared me so bad, that is why I am now relentless and will not give up on this.  It means so much to me that you are here.  I'm so glad you made it.  You give me......hope!!!!!  Thank you for sticking around.

love,

Deb

[hopeless]

HI Deb,

Just wanted to pop in here and say how great i think you are with her. You are doing a wonderful job sticking by her. I agree with the others, do NOT give in to her, NO matterhow much she whines or whatever she says. This is what us addifcts will do, we will say anything to whoever just to be able to get more and more. Stick this out, and one day she WILL thank you for it.

I also wanted to let you know that my aunt, who has been taking soma's since she was about 18 and who is now 51 years old, had to just recently stop taking them. Cause the Dr. will no longer give them to her. She has been taking them for about 33 years. Unreal, huh? Anytime she would run low on them she would panic! Said she couldn't live without them and all that ****. She was taking about 30 or so a day. Well anyway, up until about 2 or 3 weeks ago, she has had NONE! I mean none at all. She had no other choice. Guess what, she is still living, and breathing. She hated everyone for 2 and a half weeks and wanted nothing to do with anyone, but she got over it. To this day, she is beginning to feel so much better. I just wanted to share this story with you, so that you know Sally will be fine. She might be miserable for a few weeks, but she will get over it, i promise. Soma's are ok to quit c/t...It is just the mind telling you that you need them. So if my aunt can quit after almost 33 years, and from taking 30 or so a day, then i can see anyone doing this. I can't even believe the dr. had her on them for that long to begin with. So i wish you all the best, and think what you are doing for her is wonderful. I would also, reccomend cutting down every few days, next week this time she should be down from taking 20 a day to taking 10 a day, and so forth.

Good luck to the both of you,
love, Hope

[debsally]

You also have the perfect words I need to hear.  I will take all this support and pour it into her.  She is so worth it I can't even tell you.

huggs and kisses back

Deb