Tapering, counting, crying....

[debsally]

Okay you guys, If I ever needed you, I NEED YOU NOW!!!  It has started.  Yesterday we started with 4 Soma 5 times a day.  I have all the pills and count them out in the morning.  I think it was a big cut down because she may have been taking 30 - 40 a day and now she is on 20, so that is a big jump, but we had to start somewhere.  

Last night she got really upset, had a major anxiety attack and was a bit freaked out.  I really didn't know what to do accept sit and cry with her and rub her back and tell her how brave and strong she is and how much I love her.  So first thing this morning it started again.  I told her that all the feelings she was supressing with the Soma are all going to come out and they will not kill her.  She know and agrees, but is really beating herself up saying she got herself into this mess and is so angry with herself.  She is not coming back to work today.  It is a long story, but she blames this company for making her worse and treating her badly, which they totally did and I fully support her not coming back to work here.

Anyway,  it was so hard to just count out her pills and cry with her a little and love on her a little and then leave and come to work.  It was soooooooooooo hard, but I have to work especially now that she really isn't working.  I put her on a pill schedule and if she runs out I told her she is shyt out of luck because I wont give her any more.

I need to know what to expect.  I am going to go back and read FLhubby's post and email it to myself so I can print it out.  Now remember you guys, she is still taking oxy 3x a day and norco 4 times a day for pain.  I pray she doesn't load up on those to ease her emotional pain.  Please, please, please pray for her.  I am so scared now.  She keeps telling me that this is what she wants but I am starting to see how hard it will be.

Any sugggestions on the tapering????  Right now I am thinking of this..........
today.................1 oxy and 4 soma at 8am
                         2 norco &  4 soma at 11am
                         1 oxy and 4 soma at 2pm
                         2 norco and 4 soma at 5pm
                         1 oxy and 4 soma at 8pm
                          tylenol pm to help sleep
Also I gave her a multi vitamin and her B vitamin and calcium to take w/ breakfast, but she has already lost her appetite and only ate 3 frozen pancakes for breakfast, cereal at dinner and a penut butter and jelly before bed.

I am doing the right thing!!!  I am doing the right thing!!!  I am doing the right thing!!!  It will all be worth it.  I feel like the bad guy.  I'm afraid she is going to hate me.  I have to remember it is the drugs that make her feel so angry that she says mean things, right?

I am so scared.

Pray for me.

love always,

Debbie
                          

[FLaddict]

Hi there I have been following your story.. but have not posted to you.

Is the goal to get her off all pills or just the soma?? I am good and figuring out taper schedules so i thought i would see if I could help you any.
You ARE DOING the right thing.. don't you worry about that.. she needs someone to help her fight this.. the drugs make her a different person.. the one you fell in love with is still there and once the drugs have liften she will soon be back to you.

[shelby74]

Oh honey, you are doing the right thing!  You know what gets me, is they say Soma is not addicting.  I feel completely out of it though when I would c/t it.  Cutting it by half is a lot too.  Do you have enough pills for her so you do not reduce it by so much?  I am sure it would make her more comfortable.  Then maybe every few days you could reduce it by a few at a time.  Just an idea.  Also Deb, is there anyone else who can control the pills why you are not there.  I know if it were me and I was controlling my own intake, it would be VERY hard.  So if there is someone that can fill in for you while you are at work, I think it would make the whole process that much smoother.

I am praying for you both!

love u,

shel

[debsally]

Just the soma for now.  It is the biggest problem. I know she is in there.  I see her.  I know her.  I believe in her.  I adore her.

Thank you for your support.  I really need it now.

Deb

[migsufferer]

I'm tapering from Fioricet.  I was up to 8 per day and now I'm at 1-2 in 7 weeks.  Tapering is tough.  With the level she is taking, I'm concerned about her now tapering quickly enough, but I'm no doctor.  I went from 8 per day down to 4 the next day and stayed there for two weeks.  It was horrible, HORRIBLE.  I cried, I hurt, I panicked, and I got through it.  This is the storm before the calm.  It lasted about 8 days.  I drank insane amounts of water and stayed in the bath as long and as often as possible.  I watched tv to take my mind off of the hurt, fear and pain.  Nobody helped me administer the meds.  I had to put that control in my hands.  I have a valid reason to have medication, but I need to be off them.  I'm not saying to give her the control, I'm saying that you are so wonderful to do this for her.  You can do this, she can do this.  You ARE doing it!  Times are going to be tough, but they are going to get better.  Keep her very hydrated.  Water, water, water.  I drink Smart Water by Glaceau.  I get it from Costco and its a little less than a dollar per 33 oz bottle.  Expensive but it has the electrolytes necessary without the sugar.
My husband is so supportive, but at work all day and I'm hope with our three year old.  She is so lucky to have you supporting and helping her.  If need be, take her to a meeting or church to give her some inspiration.  Inspiration helped me more than anything.  Watching and reading people who have succeeded and reading the Bible helped me as well.  
This message board is the single most inspiring and helpful place I have found.  Stay here and make sure to listen to those who know about the process.  You need support too.
Oh and by the way.  I went down 5% every three days after I went down to the 4/day.  It's a slow taper, but it made it so I wasn't so uncomforable.
Warm wishes and blessings,
m

[avisg]

you are doing the right thing ,you are you doing the right thing,you are doing the right thing........



I think you should talk to FLaddict about a taper schedule she is really really good at them . She knows alot about making sure there is always about the same amount of the drug in your system all of the time so withdrawals are a bit more bearable. . We will  be here for ya .
Avis

[debsally]

There is no one else that even knows.  There is no one else she trusts and no one else available.  I am it, girl.  She wants this as much as I do so I hate to go back up in pills when this is day 2 on 20 a day.  I suppose if she is really bad I can add 4 at bedtime.  Would that be okay.  

Now how many days should I keep her on this until I drop her down?  And I was thinking of droping her down like this...

now she is on 4, 4, 4, 4, 4
then we will do 4, 4, 4, 4, 3
then                 4, 4, 4, 3, 3
then                 4, 4, 3, 3, 3
then                 4, 3, 3, 3, 3
then                 3, 3, 3, 3, 3
then                 3, 3, 3, 3, 2
and so on.  Does that make sense?

DEBS

[debsally]

What is your suggestion on tapering??????

Please???

Debbie

[NautyOne]

I to have been following your journey, and I thought she was only taking soma.  This is gonna be a bit tougher........Definitely talk with Fladdict about a taper plan.  When you mix soma with opiates it can get a little tricky.......I wish you all the best, and yes, shes playing you to break you by throwing tantrums......be strong, Deb  Your a good person and don't forget it.  Don't let her break you.  She's not going anywhere in the condition she is in.......she will love you even more for this.  It's gonna take some time.  Hang in there.

God Bless,
Nauty.................

[debsally]

Thank you.  That is exactly what I needed to hear.  

God bless you too!!!

Deb

[nurseintrouble]

Hey Sweetie,
I am so happy yo hear that Sally is willing to get off the Soma.  How is she doing with the 20 a day?  If she is not totally freaking out, then I would stay there and continue the taper as planned.  My thought is this...if you give in and give her more Soma, then she might think that if she whines enough and says that she physically cannot do it at the taper level, then you'll give in every time.  Just remember, no one will die from muscle relaxer w/d!  She might go through periods of hating you, just keep in mind that it is the addiction that is angry with you, not the women who loves you!  This will make your love and your relationship so much stronger in the long run.  Post all you need, this is going to be a long month for you both.  I am here to support you whenever you need, take strength from this forum and pour it into Sally.  Please remember to also take care of yourself.
Big hugs and kisses,
Cait

[debsally]

You also have the perfect words I need to hear.  I will take all this support and pour it into her.  She is so worth it I can't even tell you.

huggs and kisses back

Deb

[hopeless]

HI Deb,

Just wanted to pop in here and say how great i think you are with her. You are doing a wonderful job sticking by her. I agree with the others, do NOT give in to her, NO matterhow much she whines or whatever she says. This is what us addifcts will do, we will say anything to whoever just to be able to get more and more. Stick this out, and one day she WILL thank you for it.

I also wanted to let you know that my aunt, who has been taking soma's since she was about 18 and who is now 51 years old, had to just recently stop taking them. Cause the Dr. will no longer give them to her. She has been taking them for about 33 years. Unreal, huh? Anytime she would run low on them she would panic! Said she couldn't live without them and all that ****. She was taking about 30 or so a day. Well anyway, up until about 2 or 3 weeks ago, she has had NONE! I mean none at all. She had no other choice. Guess what, she is still living, and breathing. She hated everyone for 2 and a half weeks and wanted nothing to do with anyone, but she got over it. To this day, she is beginning to feel so much better. I just wanted to share this story with you, so that you know Sally will be fine. She might be miserable for a few weeks, but she will get over it, i promise. Soma's are ok to quit c/t...It is just the mind telling you that you need them. So if my aunt can quit after almost 33 years, and from taking 30 or so a day, then i can see anyone doing this. I can't even believe the dr. had her on them for that long to begin with. So i wish you all the best, and think what you are doing for her is wonderful. I would also, reccomend cutting down every few days, next week this time she should be down from taking 20 a day to taking 10 a day, and so forth.

Good luck to the both of you,
love, Hope

[debsally]

Thank you for sharing that success story.  You all mean so much to me, more than ever!!!  I am so busy right now but will keep popping in. Hope, you are such an inspiration to me.  I first found this site right when you went into the hospital and we thought we were going to loose you.  That is when I got serious about talking to her about the soma.  Because what happened to you scared me so bad, that is why I am now relentless and will not give up on this.  It means so much to me that you are here.  I'm so glad you made it.  You give me......hope!!!!!  Thank you for sticking around.

love,

Deb

[hopeless]

You are a sweet sweet lady! Yes, i might have been through alot, but you know something, i am not quite there yet. I am still fighting this fight everyday, and will continue to do so until i am 100% complete again. I know i have such a long way to go yet. What you are doing for Sally, is so wonderful, i really do mean that. I wish i had someone here who gave me that much support. What i hear is "Get over it" "Enough is Enough" and other things like, we are going to end up divorced if you don't deal with your issues. I mean he is supportive and all, but he thinks i should be over this in a few weeks. I try and tell him it don't work that way, and that i am sorry and i am trying, but he just don't quite understand. So when i see you posting on here and crying out for help for someone that you truely love, it just makes me think, "damm i want that" Sally is truely blessed to have you in her life. Someday when she is all better, trust me, she WILL thank you for all you have done for her.

I will ALWAYS be here for you, always!!

Love,
Hopey

[FLaddict]

Sorry i was out most of the afternoon.. What you have so far is good.. i would however drop the middle doses first and leave the morning and night the same.. that way she gets the same amount before bed which is always the hardest time.. so i would worry about the middle doses then work your way out..
Does that make sense??
I am here if you need me.. you can also send me a message if you don't see me posting

[debsally]

thank you so so so much.  will do.

have to get home to my woman.

love you all

Debs

[tzt2lady]

You are just awesom and are sooooooo doing the right thing.   I know for many, the soma gives the norco a "kick" and when I would run out of soma, the norco didnt work as good so I would take more.

I dont know if she will or not.   I think focusing on the soma is a great idea but we dont want the norco's/oxy to get too  high either.   Could you find our how much norco/oxy she normally takes and then help her to stick to that?  Or would it be too much for her to think about right now.  

That way you could leave her only her daily allowance of ALL drugs.

Keep up the great work and hang on to your arse, it will  be a bit of a ride it sounds like, at least for a few days.

bless you both
tzt

[tzt2lady]

You are just awesom and are sooooooo doing the right thing.   I know for many, the soma gives the norco a "kick" and when I would run out of soma, the norco didnt work as good so I would take more.

I dont know if she will or not.   I think focusing on the soma is a great idea but we dont want the norco's/oxy to get too  high either.   Could you find our how much norco/oxy she normally takes and then help her to stick to that?  Or would it be too much for her to think about right now.  

That way you could leave her only her daily allowance of ALL drugs.

Keep up the great work and hang on to your arse, it will  be a bit of a ride it sounds like, at least for a few days.

bless you both
tzt

[road2recovery]

you sound so much better, now that you have a plan...i agree with what everyone has said here, and you can see how loved you are..
you are a very kind and loving soul!!!
One day at a time...
She is lucky to have you
the best of luck to you both
r2r

[debsally]

I am so proud and scared.  I came home from work and we were talking.  She told me about her struggles today and how unfair it is that I have to put up with so much.  Then she told me she has a prescription for soma that is too soon to fill and she wanted to transfer it to costco so she could pick it up and pay cash.....BUT SHE DIDN'T.  She said she knew that she would have to hide it from me and is so tired of feeling ashamed all the time.  I told her how proud I am and how brave and amazing she is.  I told her how amazing it is that we can talk openly about this and that we are trusting eachother.

You guys know...she is really struggling.  And it is only day 1.  So I said we should keep her on this dose for a couple of days before we start to lower her.  She agrees since we jumped down so far so fast.  Also, I am counting the soma before I go to bed so I will know if she tries to sneak any in the middle of the night.  Is that okay???

Thanks everyone for listening and for caring.

I will make dinner, she wants protein, so that is good.  We will have an early night and she has stuff to keep her busy tomorrow.

Keep praying.  This has to work.

love,

Debbie

[FLaddict]

Protein is good.. load her up.. helps rebuild the damages neurotransmitters in the brains that make us have cravings.. i would try to limit and sugar binging if you can. i would also get her taking Vitamin c get the Ester C buffered form this can also help with cravings.  Also calcium and magnesium work together to help relax the muscles naturally so that may help too..

If you need any help at all don't hesitate.. I am usually on the other forum but if you need me just send me a message to my inbox and i will help any way i can..

XOXO
stephanie

[TimH2]

You have really done your homework and give such excellent advice. You are a success story and we need many more of them.

Hope your day is going well.

Tim

[TimH2]

You are really doing a great job taking care of Sally. I can't tell you enough how lucky she is. You have taken the bull right by the horns. Your love story is amazing and you are such a great person. I just wanted to let you know how much I respect you. I am praying for the both of you and although it is going to take some time, you will make it through this together.

God Bless,
Tim

[debsally]

Thank you!!  So much!!  How are you doing on day 9.  Talk to me!

cuddles,

Debs

[liscamdave]

I am not sure if I am familiar with your story, can you fill me in when you get a chance...

Take Care, Lisa

[avisg]

Debbie, how are things going today? There is nothing wrong with counting we addicts will, lie cheat and steal if we want a drug bad enough .That is a really hard thing for me to say and hear myself say but its the truth.Does she get all of her somas from doctors or has she been buying offline as well ? I only wonder because that is going to be hard if she is . Debbie you are a wonderful person
Dont ever forget that !!!!!! we are all here for you .
Avis

[debsally]

[debsally]

thank you.

lisa I will send you a message soon, but i'm really busy at work today so i'll try asap.

avis, she gets 90 soma a month from her doc and buys the rest in mexico.  but she has made her last trip there.  i think we have enough for the taper and then that is it. no more.

that is my prayer, my hope.

thankyou for being here. for some reason I am the one having a hard time today.

love,
Debbie

[avisg]

this is all alot you are allowed to have a bad day girl. This does not just effect the person with the problem it effects the whole family . Having all of this on your shoulders Is difficult you will get the brunt of her pain and her anger and on top of that you will have your pain and anger and a job to keep and kids to care for .THAT IS ALOT !!!!!!. Try to find a few moments a day to JUST breath .
Let me know if there is anything i can do to help.

Avis

[2be1999]

remember were there is a shadow, there is a light

[debsally]

and "trials and tribulations are blessings in disguise".

I BELIEVE!!!

love,

Deb

[teenutz]

I am new to this forum, and I have not written to you before. I feel for you right now. You are doing the right thing with the tapering in this case. I am a recovering drug addict who was addicted to Vicoden and Valium, along with many other pills and drugs. I quit the hard stuff awhile back, but the pills were tough to kick. I was popping 15 Vicodin a day, and God only knows how many Valium on top of it. I did this for years, and got numerous pain pills from my doctors and by stealing from people's medicine cabinets. I have a degree in psychology ironically, and I learned how to write prescriptions in shorthand form. I stole doctor's prescription pads with their Narcotic script number on it and wham I had the hook up for many years. It caught up to me. Rehab failed me. One day, after almost losing my house, my wife, and ultimately my life, I decided enough was enough and quit. Tossed everything, and my wife helped me. I can't tell you the hell I went through with withdrawal. A week straight of vomiting, sweating, hallucinations, and punching holes in the walls. I almost died from doing that, but I played the tapering game many times before and it just never worked for me. I would just end up abusing again. Anyway, everyone is different and I think you need to continue the tapering process. I also take Soma right now for my back. I am having problems with it myself. I have been taking more and more to acheive pain relief and I am scared to death about getting hooked. I am going to talk to my doctor about it, because I need a good pain killer for my back (I have a disc problem), but I don't want to get hooked. Most muscle relaxers have never done a thing for me, but Soma works real well, too well, and it is addicting. It has some kind of sedative in it, that's what makes it addicting from other muscle relaxers. I worry about the fact she is taking Norco and oxycodone for pain. Those are also addicting and can make getting off the Soma even harder since she has probably associated a certain kind of high by taking the Soma with the other pills. Stripping her of one will reduce that high, and she is not going to like it one bit. Sounds like she has a very high tolerance, but I believe you are doing the right thing by weening her off. I know so much about drugs and different classes of drugs because of my college education and my real life experience with them. I became a victim of my own profession. Keep tapering her off the Soma, and make sure she is eating well. Be with her as much as you can. She is going to go through some withdrawal no matter what because of the dosage she was taking. This will be hellish and frightening but you seem like a strong person, and any individual who is willing to help someone go through that is a fighter, and so is she. Thank God she has made the commitment to quit! I will pray for the both of you. Hang in there, you will make it through all of this. The sad thing is that all of these drugs (Soma, Vicodin, Oxycodone, Percodan etc) are really beneficial and needed by people in our society for medical purposes. It is the way we use these drugs that gives them a bad rap. I blame doctors for this to a certain extent because I believe they overprescribe these drugs, when they should only be used on a short term basis unless there is serious medical illness or injury involved. Even so, it is the doctor's responsibility to switch out meds so you don't become hooked on something. Someone taking Vicodin for a few weeks, should be re-evaluated and switched onto a different pain med like Darvocet or Ty3 or Talwin to reduce the chances of addiction. Staying on the same meds for too long is a big part of the problem for many people, and I blame the professionals for this, although some people do intentionally abuse these drugs. Anyway, good luck to you, and I will do anything I can to help out. God Bless You!!!!            

[debsally]

thank you for sharing, welcome and thank you for your blessings. i recieve them and pitch them right back to you.  your story is amazing and i hope i get to chat some more when i can,
maybe later this afternoon.

thanks again and looking forward to more chats.

love,

debbie

[teenutz]

My blessings are always with you. Give us an update when you can. Take care!

[TimH2]

Great post!!!! Welcome to the forum.