Tim/everyone

[wickedwanderer]

Congrats on your 13 days...that's awesome.  I really struggled with being clean for "me."  I did it for others - my daughter (her father has custody of her because of my addiction) and my boyfriend (who I pretty much "ditched" for drugs).  So, I still have an issue with appreciating myself.

It's good that you got to spend time w/ the boys.  I always think about how I missed out on so much w/ my daughter.

This is for everyone:  I know I'm not the only one who struggles w/ self esteem issues (I have for a long time), but it seems like the addiction makes it worse.  It's like I'm trying to figure out who I am...all over again.

[tzt2lady]

Life doesn't always play out like we intend it to.   The thing is that we have now and what we do now can determine our future.   Yeah, we made mistakes, some small, some huge, but we can work to accept ourselves, love ourselves and just know that at times those self esteem demons will attack us and we will feel like ****.  If we didnt have regret we would be sociopaths.  
I feel like i missed so much with my boys cuz they have different dads and the older one moved in with his dad ten years ago, the younger one i have on the weekends and weekdays when possible.  
But they are well taken care of, they have parents who love them, and I am still close to them.

I teach kids who have emotional problems.  Many of them live in an orphanage and have noone.  I look at other parents who have lost children completely.     I pray for both and give thanks for what I do have when I start feeling the pains of not having my boys full time.
hugs
tzt

[TimH2]

Thanks so much my friend. I think you have to be clean for yourself too!!! You are doing great and so happy you are here. My boys are off and I did spend quality time with them yesterday/last night. We had a great time with a lot of laughs. I am so proud of those two short people. The 12 yr old is starting to get some height and think he is going to be a big guy like his Dad.

We all struggle with self esteem and we wouldn't be human if we didin't.

God Bless,
Tim