V is for Vicodin (or Victim of an unintentional addiction)

[AMetamorphosis]

Greetings,

First off, I would like to thank ALL of those who have posted here. I have spent a good deal of my afternoon reading these posts (learning) and believe / pray it will help me in my quest to quit abusing a certain substance.

I am a 39 year old man with a family history of addiction. (specifically, alcohol)
( Some family members have sought help & remained sober, other are actively drinking & some have died, or will eventually with their addiction)
I grew up attending Alateen.

I also am a multiple substance abuser. (God it feels good to admit it.)

My "drug of choice" is pot & I have smoked almost daily since I was introduced to it at the age of 17.
I also smoke between 1/2 - 1 pack of cigarettes daily.

I have abused alcohol in spurts (usually when I can't get access to pot) from the age 18 - 39 (mind you I just turned 39 last week & the only reason I have not had a drink is because I've had access to other drugs, some of which causes me to black out if I mix with drink.)

I am a daily user of two - five,  0.5 Xanax (alprazolam) & have been prescribed this medication to treat severe anxiety & stress. I have been taking this medication with excellent results (when I do not drink alcohol) for 6 years and do not have a desire to quit.

Furthermore, I am taking several other medications for a gastrointestinal issue. These medications do not give me any euphoria or "high" and are not of concern to me except the one for pain ...

VICODIN. (hydrocodone)

I have been taking two - ten 5/500's (prescribed) or 10/620's <-- (when I can "play up" my aches & pains to a sympathetic addicted neighbor) for approximately 3 months now.

I know I have a problem with these insidious pills and have already experienced the leg spasms, irritability, etc. when I have not taken any.

I have enough pills & scripts to continue abusing these for quite some time, OR ween myself off.
I currently am on disability & have the luxury of detoxing while at home and in privacy.

PLEASE, can someone tell me if I would be better off trying to quit "cold turkey" or if I would be better off weening myself off by reducing my usage daily ?

I know that with some medications it is better (and safer) to reduce usage at a controlled pace. (like Xanax) I'm afraid that if I experience severe WD from stopping the Vicodin all at once my lack of willpower will crumble & send me right back to the pharmacy for a refill.

I want to quit. I need to stop & I pray I have the willpower (provided I don't go into severe with-drawl). This is why I am asking if it would be best to reduce daily so that the W/D doesn't "set me off".

Is there anything (other than more $%^& drugs) that helps ?

I am in a high profile job so checking into a rehab is not an option.
Additionally, my spouse refuses to believe I have any addiction problems even when I have begged for acknowledgment. Consequently, I have no support system.
And I am afraid to attend an NA meeting because although anonymity is a tenant of 12 step programs I know that my name will become public.

God bless you all & I pray for each of you that is struggling with these problems like I.

Any advice, experiences, PRAYERS, etc will be so very much appreciated !

Warm regards,

AMetamorphosis



' Make kindness your daily modus operandi & change your world. ' Annie Lennox  

[mrslemoine021]

Hi!  Welcome welcome, this site has helped through my recovery tremendously!  You've made the first step, which is REALLY wanting to quit.  I had to hit rock bottom before I actually really wanted to quit.  It's been almost 2 months since I've had a 10, and I'm happier with my life.  My husband and I are in love again like we just met, I'm spending more time with my daughter than in my bed, and I just got a great job!  I was taking about 10 a day, and it seemed like my withdrawals would never end.  But with a positive outlook, exercise, healthy foods, and support from all these wonderful people, I made.  Here I am, starting my new life.  I don't think the w/d's would be too bad for you, since you only have taken 2 a day.  But it's different for everyone.  Well I wish you all the best, and good luck.  No pain, no gain....remember that!

[liscamdave]

Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words. I do know that when I kick this demon it will restore all the good that was once in my life. Everything that I used to love has been washed away. It is so hard and its an indescribable feeling. I just want the old me back. Please feel free to email, as I am here all day from 9-4, M-F. I am not on at night, so its best not to email or post unless in this specific time-frame.

I hope that you will continue to stick tight to this forum as you will find it will help you tremendously. I have befriended such wonderful people on here. It is truly amazing. Good luck to you....

xoxo, Lisa

[AMetamorphosis]

I am very angry right now ( GRRRRRRR ! )

I wrote a THANK YOU to you as well as many words of encouragement before we got hit with an electrical outage.

I am in PA too & I WISH I had all of the things I wrote to you.

The most important one I want to re-state again is this:

CONGRATULATIONS on making in for 3-4 months.
Instead of looking @ your relapse as a failure, look @ it this way.
That was 3 - 4 months WITHOUT poisoning yourself !
I'm personally proud of you & will be praying for you starting tomorrow and all through the weekend.
I would be very happy to give you my phone # if you need to vent, cry, scream or just talk too ( lol ) while trying to detox in such a short time. If so, let me know and I will send it to your email address from mine

I am sending virtual hugs to you.
Tomorrow is gonna be the beginning again of the Best of your life ... not rest of your life :-)

ahhaa ... how the sayings and memories of growing up in Alateen are coming back to me

Peace

[liscamdave]

I hope that this reply finds you well today. I have been on vacation and am just now reading posts and trying to catch up.

Pretty much all of the advice you have receieved here is very useful and helpful. You seem like a good person that got caught up just like the rest of us did. My name is Lisa, I was a three year Oxy Contin Abuser. My total intake on a daily basis was anywhere from 1000mgs a day t0 1200mgs a day. If I had enough money, then it was almost 1600mgs a day. This demon took everything from me including my own husband. I quit about three-4 months ago, and just recently replased. I myself have started a taper plan and am quitting Friday to give myself the weekend to be able to stay home and w.d. My advice to you, is to PLEASE....if you have the means to stay home for a few weeks, then taper then quit. If you only have a week or so, then just go c/t. I would never advise cold turkey, but if you only have a little bit of time home, then just go for it. The worst is 3-5 days, then just mild symptoms that you can handle at work. If you have more time, then by all means taper. Tim and Fladdict and a few others have very good tapering plans for you to follow. Everyone one on here is so supportive and will help you with everything you may need. Please keep us posted and I wish you all the luck in your battle to get rid of this demon. It lies dormant in everyone, until it is awakened. Please stay strong. The Thomas Recipe will help tremendously....Good luck to you...my friend...

Take Care and if you need anything, advice or whatever, please post or feel free to email me

Lisa@ Vista Line Online.com

I had to space it out because we can't post our emails here....Good luck.

[AMetamorphosis]

You bet!
I desperately don't want to be a slave to Vicodin anymore.

Taking from the saying " One day @ a Time ": " One drug @ a time " ... ( grin )

I haven't had any pot since Monday and then it was a small roach I found in the ashtray of my car.
Fortunately, my pot supplier is having difficulty getting any so I'm not smoking.
Nor am I one to start calling around to others that smoke weed because I don't crave it.
Funny thing is I've never had any problems withdrawing from pot so it's the least of my worries.
Besides, I NEED to clean out because I want to start a new job when I come off of disability and these days everyone wants a cup o' wee wee for employment. ... lol.

As to the Xanax ... 0.5 really doesn't seem to be a lot ( for me. )
When I started out, I took 0.25 ( 1/4 milligram pills ) and would double them in order to get the relief I needed.

I know many people that take 2mg bars so my 0.5's are like 1/4 of what they take. Plus, this is spread out over the course of the day. Last night, I gave in and took 3 of them for some rest so I guess its like I took 3/4 of a 2mg bar. <-- thats not good, but my Dr. wanted to prescribe me Lunesta or Soma & I ( for once ) intelligently declined out of fear of becoming Dependant on one of those medication too.

And yes, my Dr. has prescribed me this dosage, monitors my liver & kidney & believes ( as I do ) that we have reached the " right " amount to control my anxiety & stress.

In the beginning, a 0.5mg pill would have knocked me out for 8 hours, but then I have been using this drug for 6 years now. I do not have a propensity to abuse this medication & it truly is one of the pills I don't hate myself for taking.


This morning I could not wait for my spouse to leave for work so I could chew up a vicodin. I've only had ONE 10/620. (so far) I woke up very very irritable & full of skelomuscular pain. I'm ashamed that I faked being asleep until they left so I could get my fix. But then again, I don't have any support here @ home so I've learned little tricks to keep my addiction as secret as possible.

Tzt2lady, THANK YOU for asking me about my issues & BLESS you for welcoming me so kindly.

[tzt2lady]

So are you going to try to quit vicodin?  Or just the pot?  Also, although Im no expert, I have never heard of anyone being prescribed that much Xanax.   Is this what the dr. told you to take?  Just curious.  

If you can taper with the vicodin it will be easier on your body.   Some recommend reducing your dose by 10% every several days.  In your case you would probably add up the milligrams and start there.  
I dont know how to detox off pot.  
I know several people are swearing by the drug Chantix for quitting smoking cigarettes.

Well, I just wanted to welcome you and I hope you keep us posted on your progress!
tzt

[AMetamorphosis]

The soak helped but my mind is racing out of control ...
I'm going to take several xanax so I can get to sleep.
( pills to wake up ... pills to take away pain ... pills to sleep )

%^&* pills

[AMetamorphosis]

God Bless you all for your EXCELLENT support & great advice :-)
I feel very lucky to have found a place where I can openly talk with others that are going through similar opiate addictions.

( shelby74 - vicaddict - GA guy ) - Thank you for information regarding the Xanax.

I will continue my Xanax prescription AS PRESCRIBED ( grin ) as I too believe that it helps to keep me "in check", should help with the agitation and I am aware that trying to stop a medication like that can be VERY VERY unsafe!
Honestly, I have no desire to stop taking that medication because it has been a true "saving grace" in keeping me controlled and behaving. I know that my body is Dependant on it, but its a dependence I can live with.

Regarding additional medications, I am fearful of adding anything else as I realize I have a very addictive personality so for the time being I will forgo asking My Dr's to prescribe anything else. It's almost as if I feel I should suffer for becoming addicted & at the moment I think (subject to change) I would rather suffer, even if its awful, than add another medication.

As to the Thomas recipe, I CAN do this !

1. I'm already on Xanax.
2. I am also on a medication called Lomotil ( for my gastrointestinal issues ) that effectively STOPS diarrhea. ( I have a medical condition that doesn't allow my body to properly absorb fats or nutrition )
3, 4 & 5. I am currently taking a liquid vitamin,mineral, nutritional supplement daily that covers ( I just went to the fridge and checked :-) L-Tyrosine & a wide spectrum of the B vitamins. I will still purchase additional L-Tyrosine as the dosage in the supplement isn't scalable as you've wisely suggested !
6. I am blessed with a Jacuzzi & will be using it to help alleviate the body aches.

&
7. I have a BIG Akita puppy dog that needs and loves walks so I will begin (slowly) venturing out for the exercise.

SUMAMA - Congratulations on not giving in today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am starting to get the aches in my muscles & back as I haven't had a pill since around 2:00pm today.  It's 9:45pm ... I haven't gone this long w/o a Vicodin in months ... I'm going to go get in the Jacuzzi as Ga guy wisely suggested.

May we ALL make it one day at a time.

Peace

' Make kindness your daily modus operandi & change your world. ' Annie Lennox

[GA Guy]

Maybe this will help..I think I post it every other post..

This is a work in progress...something I've been working on off and on for the last couple of weeks. It's not considered complete, but has lots of info from lots of sources. If any of the "old timers" have anything to add, let me know and I'll add it to the document. I hope to use this to post a general "how to" every couple of days or so.

Listed below are suggestions for detoxing and quitting an opiate addiction. They are just suggestions compiled from the detox plans of people that have gone through cold turkey detox before. They are just that, suggestions, and any detox plan is best when done under a doctor's care. Consult your doctor before trying any of the suggestions below.
This is prewritten for anyone who is beginning, or planning on beginning, a cold turkey withdrawal to opiates. This includes drugs such as tramadol (Ultracet and Ultram) codeine (Tylenol #3, #4), Darvocet, Hydrocodone (Vicodin, Norco, Lortab and derivatives),  Oxycodone (Endocet, Percocet, Oxycontin), Morphine, Demerol. Fentanyl, and Dilaudud. There are many other opiates not listed, so if you don’t see it listed, you can still use these suggestions if it’s an opiate based addiction. None of these apply to benzodiazepine based addictions. These addictions should never be dealt with by going cold turkey. Always consult a doctor for a detox plan for benzos.

First of all, opiate withdrawals are uncomfortable, but rarely life threatening. You may think you’re going to die, but most of the withdrawal symptoms are just very uncomfortable. If possible, take some time off work or schedule a week or so in order to fully detox. You will honestly not feel like doing much anyway. Opiate withdrawal symptoms usually start 12-24 hours after your last dose. But, the timing of withdrawal symptoms depends upon the drug taken, length of time you’ve been taking it, and how you react to medications. The physical withdrawals usually last 3-7 days, with days 3 and 4 being the worst. Once again, this is all dependent on the person. You can expect these symptoms. Dilated pupils, diarrhea, runny nose, goose bumps, abdominal pain, stomach cramps, sweating, agitation, anxiety, nausea, vomiting, leg cramps, general aches and pains, and sleeplessness. This list is not absolute. You may experience all of these symptoms, only some of them, or other symptoms. Again, we are all different. Below is the famous Thomas Recipe. It gives some general information along with supplements that help with the withdrawal symptoms. The only thing I would add to this list is a blood pressure drug named clonidine. It effectively lowers the blood pressure and lessens many of the withdrawal symptoms. Most any doctor will prescribe it if you’re honest as to why you need it. Discuss dosages and frequency with your doctor.

Thomas Recipe:

1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper and Magnesium.
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).

How to use the recipe:
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5. During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it. At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help. With breakfast, take the mineral supplement. As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

[NautyOne]

Hi AMetamorphisis.  I don't usually make recommendations, but with everything that you have stated in your post, u might want to check out the possibility of suboxone  Have u ever heard of it?  You can Google it .  www.suboxone.com......i hope i am right.  I am sorry that your wife refuses to listen to you.  I can only imagine how that must feel.  Just know that you can always come here.  Everybody here Will Listen, understand, and care.  

All the best to you.

Nauty.......................

[vicaddict]

On the benzo's though never stop those cold turkey! The xanax, do not do that! If nothing else call your dr ask for some advice if you want to come off those. The above post to you I was referring to the vicodin. :)

[vicaddict]

Hi and welcome! Personally I have tried tapering and always fail. But at the same time cannot handle cold turkey. I have found myself though from 10-15/day down to 5 within a week. Hard to do but has helped with the w/d's. So personally for me even though I failed so many times at tapering, and who knows I could still fail again. But for now I am sticking to it, and see a new Dr tomorrow for some more insight and help. So my personal preference is to taper. Everyone is different though. If you want try cold turkey first, who knows maybe it will not be as bad as you think..if you cannot handle it you have what you need for a taper. I tried it that way myself and like I said c/t was a no go for me. So you have some options there and can try and see which works better. :)

In between dr's right now so unsure exactly where it will go from here. I have heard about the clonodine working wonders, so you may just find you feel normal with just that. Or very minimal w/ds.

Keep posting, and this is just a suggestion....maybe ask your wife to read through some posts here, this will most definitely help her to understand from REAL people struggling how it really goes down. This isn't just hearing it on a commercial, or anything ya know? We all are here for the same reason and it's all real.

Hang in there, many thoughts and prayers your way!

Tracy

[turtwig]

I think you should try tappering and now before you start taking a higher dose.  The higher doses you are taking the harder you will fall.  I think it is great that you are admitting your addictions.  That is the first place to start.  I am addicted to vicidon.  But my hubby has admitted to me in the last 6 months that he is an alcoholic.  I didn't want to believe it at first.  He travels 5 days a week so I did not know he was drinking every night.  Anyway, he has a high profile job as well and was scared to go to AA but  he did.  And it did wonders for self esteem.  I don't think you should try to quit everything at once.  Too much to fast.  My shrink even gave my husband some medication that helps with his cravings for alcohol.  Topamax was the first and the other one is Campral.  And my husband said it has really helped with his cravings and with him wanting to gambal!  So please seek some good medical help and get started on each addiction.  One day at a time.  
Also, my shrink believes cold turkey does not work even with alcohol.  But that is just an opinion.  Good luck to you because it is a daily battle.  But you can do it.  And it sounds like you have the desire.  Please keep us posted.  

[vicaddict]

way to go hun! You should be extremely proud of yourself! Excellent job! Another step closer to being free!

[shelby74]

You did great today not giving in - remember one day at a time.  I have learned it is the best possible way to go about it.  I am very happy for you hun.

[shelby74]

Welcome and here is my 2 cents. :)

Tapering is hard for me to control.  I always find an excuse to take more.  The Xanax does help with the w/d's as well as the Thomas Recipe.  I am very happy that you can stay at home and do this - try to remember though when you are feeling a little bit better to get as active as you can.  Or keep your mind occupied.  Posting helps me a great deal.  I have never in my life had the support I do here - from family or anyone else for that matter.  I think only an addict really understands another addict - I mean how could "normal" people comprehend what we put ourselves through.  Always becareful with the Xanax - never stop that cold turkey.  You know you can get seizures if you do that.  Besides tapering off both at the same time would be bad.  It is bad enough to raper off one!

I wish you all the best in the world and keep posting we can figure something out.

shel

[lonote]

I agree naps do help. Wake up with a better way of thinking. Thank godness you still have your three days. Good job. You didn't blow it.

[sumama]

Just remember to stick with it.  I almost gave in today.  I haven't had any vic's in three days and I almost blew it.  I took a nap and then got on the computer.  It really helps.  Because you know that someone cares.
Sue

[lonote]

Idon't have tapering experience, but I wanted to welcome you here also. I am on  Soboxone which makes it sa I can stop taling the percs and vickes. without the w/d's. But I will stop taking the suboxone some day here soon also.

[AMetamorphosis]

Wow !

I have a feeling this is going to be a wonderful place to seek help in dealing with my problem.

Thank you princ & sumama :-)

Peace

[sumama]

Since you have the time off, I would take advantage of that and start a taper.  I wasn't taking quite as many as you or the others on this forum but I was using for about 6 or so years.  You are going to experience some w/d, but I found if you taper it is not as bad.  This is a great place for support.  Your wife probably doesn't want to acknowledge your addiction because no one wants to admit they or their loved ones has a problem.  Or they want to minimalize it.  Prayers work!
Sue

[princ]

I am not an expert but I think you should read some of the blogs here as some people have better knowledge about how to get off. I just want to say welcome to your life and take it one day at a time.