Want to hear SOMETHING positive!

I just had a week that would make St. Francis of Asissi want to kick puppies.

So I'm going to log off now and go out and try to find SOMETHING, some sign that things will go better this week.

So somebody PLEASE tell me that this run of bad luck is over, so when I come back on here later I can convince myself I don't need to sit in a corner and hit myself over the head repeatedly with a ball peen hammer so the only thing I have to look forward to is;

"Well, it hurts so much...but at least it's a relief when I stop!"

[Chrostie]

All i can say is in the last TWO weeks my very best friend whom was like a brother to me even lived with my family for a long time was killed in a motorcylce accident, then my electricity was shut off ,found out my husband was cheating on me; and LOST my job of seven years!!!The weekend was nothin but w/d's from going c/t off my habit on hydrocodne and oxycodne that ive had for almost four years. However, I am trying to stay strong and i think there is hope of things getting better. I feel for you i dont know your circumstances but i know BAD F***KIN luck and if you need anything im here just letting you know something good has to be comming for people like us ~If your going thru hell keep on movin ~Good luck to ya ~Chros

[kyjobr]

I got a hysterectomy, both brothers were stabbed, mother died, twin nieces OD'd on tylenol and started sub all within 3 weeks.  Point is, I'd rather have all my **** happen at the same time instead of trickling in all year long.  You're just getting your stuff done with all at once!  There are a few documentaries i watch when I'm feeling really down about my life.  One is called Flesh and Blood (maybe Bone, can't remember) but it's about a woman who adopts special needs kids.  These kids are F'd up.  It just really puts my life into perspective and I realize how many blessings I do have.  

[Savas]

Yah, it's been that kind of week. I think waiting around and not being able to take action is the worst kind of stress there is. And that's what we've been mostly doing, waiting in limbo.
Coming back to this tiny room of an apartment is always depressing as well. But... I try not to dwell on it. My wife's been doing the job hunting thing for a while and she's negotiating with a company, which is almost worse than no offers, since the stress of wondering what's going to happen next is  hell.
     You've got to appear like you aren't desperate and hold it together while the bills pile up, smiling cheerfully as you counter their offer and hope to God you aren't pushing it to far.

[kyjobr]

ick....I wonder if all of us addicts have control issues.  I flip out if I can't control a situation.  Give me a full inbox and a full day of meetings and 10 voicemails and I'm fine but move my desk around without asking me and I freak.  

[Savas]

Yeah, definitely. Trying to get some perspective has been a very hard lesson for me to learn. Obsessing on the little things especially. I suppose we stop using and have NO control over anything in our lives. It feels like we've been outside society and when we try to step back in and instead of being welcomed with open arms we get smacked in the face over and over again. You notice how when you stop using it seems that everything you've been avoiding is still right there, lined up and waiting to take a shot at you? I think that's possibly the hardest part of all this.

I'm feeling more copacetic.Tuesdays are the best day of the week. Still got four more days of endless possibilities!

[kyjobr]

I love what you said about 4 more days, Fabulous outlook!!!  It's true though that you can't run away from teh BS.  It's still there and has probably been accruing interest.  :-).  

[TimH2]

My Red Sox are in the World Series......woooooo hoooooooo.

[NewLeaf]

You live in NY city - that's pretty great,. Always something going on, not to mention access to some of the best food, music and culture in the world. What else, you have a loving and supportive wife. You have a roof over your head. You have fuzzy friends that sleep on your bed, leave you presents like putting fur all over the place so you have to keep those hair removal rollers or tools about. Ummm, your life could be like those clinic people or your crazy neighbors, but isn't, so that's gotta be good..   Can completely comserate with you about the prior week. Mine also completely sucked, right down into a black hole.. This week things will be better, you said it yourself, four more days of possibilities.  I know life can suck big time for anyone, not only addicts in recovery. Life is tough, it aint easy, yet every day is a new opportunity...  Look up, the sky isn't falling.

[eats23]

Hi,
I am new to this site and I read how bad your luck is at this time. I just wanted to share how bad my run of luck was and still occurs today from time to time. Lost my electrician job in the union making 48 dollars an hour. My cousin was shot in the face and killed by a drug dealer in the city over 400 dollars. I was in rehab for opiates, found out one of my best friends died from overdose of oxys, coke, benzos and booze. Left rehab after I detoxed went to his funeral, seen his lifeless body,his mother, family,friends and that was to much for me so I went home. Next day seen my girlfriend in my neighborhood (city) prostituting herself for dope. Then I see my little sister sick from opiates and begging for money in the city, who knows what the hell she was going to do for money. I  took her to detox and rehab. My girlfriends brother just got out of a detox and relapsed that night, was found 3 days later dead leaning against his wall. I knew my life was a mess and it seemed like what the **** did I do that was so wrong to deserve this ****? It was living hell , but that is what life is, it's about trials, tribulations, ups,downs, the good and the bad. Most people were dealt a ****** hand of cards in life, it is all about how you stay in the game and put on your best poker face. I got clean, so did my sister with the help of suboxone and life is pretty good right now, not as good as I planned, but I look back and it is a whole lot better than it was. Savas keep your chin up and keep on fighting it has to get better than it waor is right now. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless you and write me back if you ever need to get something off your chest. Kenny