addiction, paranoia and depression

[wickedwanderer]

hi there,

i hope someone is still awake.  the last few nights, i have been freaking out.  i get really paranoid and have a hard time falling asleep, even though i take sleeping pills.  in the past week or so, i've also fallen back into a "depression slump" and feel like ****.  my doctors keep telling me i don't have anxiety problems, but i am constantly worrying at night.  i don't understand why i'm paranoid...i don't have anything to be paranoid about!!  i dunno, maybe i just need to know that someone is here for me.  who knows what my problem.  anyway, it's good to get my thoughts out!

Mel

[wickedwanderer]

Thanks, I feel better knowing that others feel the same.  I noticed I had a **** in my original post.  I'm pretty sure it was the c-r-a-p word, and not the s-word!! lol.

FLaddict - I'm taking trazodone for sleep (although I think it's an antidepressant?). I've been taking it for 1-2 months.  It does work WONDERS.  Lunesta didn't help me at all.  I still have been having a hard time falling asleep because of the worrying.  There have been nights where I don't take any of the trazodone, or I will take a decreased dose...and it doesn't do anything.  I've been taking half a pill every night now, and am afraid that I will have to take more (which the dr said is ok - I just don't want to).  I just feel like I'm becoming dependent.

My doctor says I don't have anxiety issues, but I don't feel like that's correct.  I was diagnosed as bi-polar a few years ago, but didn't continue taking meds or getting treatment.  Now that I have sought treatment for the addiction/depression, I've been good about meds and the doctor does not think i'm bi-polar.  for depression, i'm taking celexa, which i feel pretty good on (compared to effexor and cymbalta).  i've had minimal side effects, so i think i'm going to stick with it.

mj - I will try the journal thing.  i'm not taking any pain pills anymore; i've been clean for 5-6 months now.  that's why it concerns me that i'm getting so down, because well, we know what happens when we get down in the dumps.  my paranoia usually focuses on bad things happening to family members or my boyfriend.  that's why it's so excessive.  i get really scared that someone's going to die or something.  and then i feel that because i'm thinking about it, it will happen.  it drives me insane!!!  the dr does say that the worrying is part of depression, but i don't feel that my worrying is easying up!!

thanks to all for being here for me.  it helps a lot....A LOT!!!  especially at night since i have a harder time w/ the worrying @ night :D

[marcatj]

I totally get it.  i've been having a tough time sleeping too with sleeping pills, and somethimes feel the anxiety, and the paranoia ("everybody is mad at me.. "" etc. etc.)  so it's not like i'm gonna die paranoia, more social paranoia!

the only thing i can tell you that helps is to write in your journal, before bed.  it really helps takes the garbage out of your mind and put it on paper and work through it.  i actually worked thru a problem last night at a 11pm writing in my journal (i was basically going to throw away a long time friendship.. after writing it through last night, i realized i didn't necessarily want to..)  i know that part's a little digression (!!!) but it really does help.. to see thoughts sometimes are nutty on paper... and to work through them...

if it's really severe you may need something for it... but wait til the w/d's are clearly over (or pill use.)

but try the journaling if you haven't yet...

[cowboy34695]

yea i get that too...  seems like the prozac doesnt help as much as it used too

[oneway]

Yo I feel ya.  I actually have a real reason to paranoid but I also stay awake all night and it drives me crazy because I can't tell if it is the dope sickness or if I'm freaking out for real.

[lady_m]

My doctor is convinced I am bi-polar.  He said one of the things was obsessive worrying - things that you just can't get out of your head. I worry every night that someone will break in and steal my kids, I worry that I won't wake up, everything and anything I can.  It  prevents me from falling asleep.  Since he put me on meds it has helped a lot.  I have been like that all my life.  Its so frustrating.

[FLaddict]

Vent all you need sweetpea.. That is something I would be concerned about.. What sleep med are you taking?? How long have you been taking them??
Have you concidered any of the amino acid therapy myself and others have had success with on the other forum??  It could help with the "slump" you are in and any anxiety issues..

Talk to me girly..