Aa
hour 21
I am on my 21st hour without vicodin. My body is aching and my heart is palpitating. My skin feels like it is quivering. I have to deal with life (two kids, school, husband, dinner!). My head and neck hurt so bad. This sucks!
Good for you. I'm glad to hear you are going to give those to her. I know that is tough to do. I have been drug free now for a couple of years. O.K. let me restate that. I have been drug free off of cocaine, LSD, heroin, and ectasy for almost 9 years, and I have been off the pain killers for almost 2 years. I do take Soma right now for my back. My doctor gave me a script for that b/c I have a bad disc. I have to be really careful with these. I noticed I am taking more to achieve pain relief, and I know they can be addicting. I am going to discuss this with him and see what he says. He knows my medical history, and I want to learn to take these kind of pills responsibly someday because I may need them if I am ever terminally ill or have a bad injury. There's not too many good pain meds out there if you are suffering from severe pain. The narcotic painkillers is what most people use. Too bad there is not some kind of local anethistic cream invented, you know like the numb feeling you get from Novacaine at the dentist's office. There's nothing addicting about local anethestics and they completely take away the pain. Doctors don't prescribe local anethetics, they are only used in hospitals. I wish someone would invent something like that in pill or cream form so we could rely less on narcotics. Oh, well maybe someday. I think it's just too soon to say I can take Vicodin or Darvocet again without abusing them. I may never be able to take them again, but they are useful drugs for pain if used correctly. I abused them, so I am labeled as an addict and in truth I am and always will be. Just have to take it one day at a time. I don't want to be switched onto some low-grade pain killer that does not work. The Soma does work, but I don't want to become hooked. Not hooked, but just taking a bit more than I was before to get pain relief. Keep us updated on your progress each day. It's going to be tough, but I promise you it will get better. Just hang in there! I send you all my love, and I will pray. Talk to you soon, for now, take care!
I would give the pills to your mother. I know it would be too tempting for me to have anywhere near. It is always going to be like that for me and anyone that is addicted. Don't give up what you have been working toward. It will get better each day. We are all rooting for you.
Tim
Tim
It is so funny you said that about holding on to the drugs. I do have about a half a vile of the vicodins staring at me from the shelf. I know I have to get rid of them. I took a half of a valium last night before bed and I slept half the night. So, thank you for your support. I will give the vile to my mom, she needs them for back pain. So how long have you been drug free? Years?
BTW, a few things to help you out. Drink plenty of water, try to eat as healthy as you can, although you are not going to want food, but try. Also, if you have a benzodiazepine like Valium or Xanax take one or two a day as needed. This will help take the edge off a bit, but be careful because as you probably know these are addicting to. Just use them with caution. Trazodone is good for sleep, but I don't know if it will do the trick. Try it and see how it works. Sonata works pretty good, and has a low addiction potential. The best is Ambien. Some people get addicted to these, but I'll be honest I never had a problem with these at all. They work great for sleep. All you need is one at bedtime (5 or 10 mg should do the trick). Some doctors will tell you these are addicting, while others will tell you they are safe. I believe they are safe as long as you take them as prescribed. Ask your doctor about these. There is also Ambien CR which is slowly released into the body, and not all at one time. This is less addicting, but like I said I have never had a problem with Ambien. I think it is a great sleeping medicine to be used on a short term basis, 7-10 days. Everyone is different when it comes to addiction, but you want to be comfortable and be able to sleep during your withdrawal phase. Just a few thoughts to pass along to you. Hope this helps. God Bless You!
Hi, my name is Chris and I am new to this forum. I know exactly what you are going through. I was hooked on Vicodin for over 10 years. I have a degree in psychology, and I am very smart. I studied very hard in school and learned alot about drugs, both legal and illegal. I took Vicoden for the first time back in 1993 after root canal surgery. It instantly took the pain away, and I felt great on top of it. It gave me enegry, and turned me into an extrovert. I felt great taking the medicine, and when I ran out I wanted more. I began to fake injuries and go to doctors in order to get scripts. My real downfall is when I actually broke my ankle and was given a huge script for 80 pills with two refills. I quickly went through these, and kept getting more. Eventually I was cut off after 3 months, but by then I was taking 15 a day, plus Darvocet on top of it. I started to run out of money with all the doctor hopping I was doing and having to pay for appointments. I bought off the streets, but the pills were expensive so I had to do something in order to get a constant supply. In school, I took numerous classes on pharmacy tecniques and drug education. I learned how to write doctor scripts in shorthand, and studied the hell out of all the different symbols and jargon. I went back to the doctors and stole a script pad, and wham I had a constant supply of pills. Did this with several doctors, and switched the name up on the scripts (many pharmacies did not even require id back then, so getting the scripts were easy, and they never questioned it because I wrote it like a professional. Most pharmacies now will ask for your id when you are picking up a narcotic these days, no surprise since it was people like me who was abusing the drug). I even called in my own refills using the doctor's name and narcotic script number. It was perfect, and I was a full blown addict.
After years of abuse, and many jobs lost things were not looking so good. My wife was going to leave me, and my credit went down the tubes for good. Almost lost everything, house, spouse, car. Thank God my parents were helping me out financially with bills, but I was still abusing. By 2005 I had had enough. I decided to quit because I was going to die from kidney failure or liver damage the way I was abusing them. I was also drinking as well. Weening did not work for me, so I quit cold turkey. I went through a week of living hell. By day 3 I was vomiting, sweating, hallucinating, and punching holes in my bedroom wall. I wanted to kill myself, and I figured if I did not get a pill I would die from the withdrawal. I prayed to God and my wife helped me through all of it. What a strong person she is to put up with me! The worst part of the withdrawal is the first week. That is when you will suffer from the physical part. After that you will feel better, but psychologically you may crave the drug for quite some time, I did, and to this day I get an itch for one from time to time, but I stay away from them. Hang in there. It's going to get worse before it gets better, but it will get better I promise. I wish you had a stronger support system. I am here for you, along with everyone else. You are not going to want to be around anyone physically, and you will be very moody, and probably quite sick. This will go away within a week. You are brave and strong for quitting. Whatever you do, don't pop a pill, otherwise you are right back to square one again. Toss them if you have any around. Many people hang on to them like a crutch when they are going through withdrawal. Having them around is too tempting during the physical withdrawal phase. That is the worst part: the physical phase. The psychological phase is not fun either, but by then it is mind over matter, and if you can make it through physical withdrawal, you can make it through anything, I promise. You can do it. I will pray for you. If you have any questions whatsoever please ask me. I know alot about this, and I can help you to the best of my ability. God Bless You, he is with you right now and you will make it through, I know it.
After years of abuse, and many jobs lost things were not looking so good. My wife was going to leave me, and my credit went down the tubes for good. Almost lost everything, house, spouse, car. Thank God my parents were helping me out financially with bills, but I was still abusing. By 2005 I had had enough. I decided to quit because I was going to die from kidney failure or liver damage the way I was abusing them. I was also drinking as well. Weening did not work for me, so I quit cold turkey. I went through a week of living hell. By day 3 I was vomiting, sweating, hallucinating, and punching holes in my bedroom wall. I wanted to kill myself, and I figured if I did not get a pill I would die from the withdrawal. I prayed to God and my wife helped me through all of it. What a strong person she is to put up with me! The worst part of the withdrawal is the first week. That is when you will suffer from the physical part. After that you will feel better, but psychologically you may crave the drug for quite some time, I did, and to this day I get an itch for one from time to time, but I stay away from them. Hang in there. It's going to get worse before it gets better, but it will get better I promise. I wish you had a stronger support system. I am here for you, along with everyone else. You are not going to want to be around anyone physically, and you will be very moody, and probably quite sick. This will go away within a week. You are brave and strong for quitting. Whatever you do, don't pop a pill, otherwise you are right back to square one again. Toss them if you have any around. Many people hang on to them like a crutch when they are going through withdrawal. Having them around is too tempting during the physical withdrawal phase. That is the worst part: the physical phase. The psychological phase is not fun either, but by then it is mind over matter, and if you can make it through physical withdrawal, you can make it through anything, I promise. You can do it. I will pray for you. If you have any questions whatsoever please ask me. I know alot about this, and I can help you to the best of my ability. God Bless You, he is with you right now and you will make it through, I know it.
Hang in there hon!!! I just made it through dinner(nursing one!) and grilled cheese or everyone else....nothing gourmet tonite...I have the same inside shaky thing going right now...sweaty too....but the fluttering stomach is subsiding and I am hopeful that the arm spasms will stay away tonite.....your doing awesome!!! Keep it up....
You guys Rock! It feels great not to be alone, it makes it easier. I will check out the Trazodone tomorrow. I feel like very shaky inside, but I still need to do more homework with the kids!
Almost through day 6 of vicodin withdraw,3 to 4 10/500 for a year.Went to the Dr. this morning and layed it out there.She prescribed trazodone for sleep and to simmer me down.Took one this afternoon and it helped.Supposed to be non addicting.Might work for you too.Hang in there,you are not alone with this struggle
Just wanted to say I am also a physician who fell into painkiller addiction. Who has better access to these things than we do?! The fact that my addiction was so shrouded in secrecy made it all the more difficult. Congratulations on your many years of being clean.
Cheers,
Lisa
Cheers,
Lisa
I'm on hour 34 off of 15 Percocet 5/325's daily for a few months....I am not feeling as bad as I did the last time I ran out....hopefully it stays that way...I'm pulling for you...we can do this and be rid of these damn things once and for all...I too have no one to help me through....my hubby doesn't know how much I'm taking and I have 4 kids to take care of.....just taking it an hour at a time at this point
You have got to be a little nicer to yourself verbally. I know it is hard, my partner is on day 3 of taper major soma abuse and is struggling with self abuse verbally. Please, I cannot urge you enough to be nicer to yourself. You are doing awesome. It gets better. You are doing the right thing and you will be yourself once again.
You are not useless. You are a wonderful person with a lot to give and when your detox is done, you will be better and healthier. Be nice to yourself like you were caring for your best friend.
love,
Debbie
You are not useless. You are a wonderful person with a lot to give and when your detox is done, you will be better and healthier. Be nice to yourself like you were caring for your best friend.
love,
Debbie
9 years! Holy Cow! When do you feel normal again. I am now 26 hours into it. I have two kids and husband. I am cleaning out my closet and lying in my bed when I start to feel nausea. My friend gave me a valium so I could sleep tonight. But yeah I know those great energy highs you speak of...I would get alot done on those. Now I am a useless ragdoll!
Brad,
Your story gives me so much hope. I have tried to quit numerous times and the mental part is when I cave in. I am on day 9 and yesterday started to get the obsessive cravings. I try to keep myself busy with work and read when possible. Opiates gave me a feeling of security and well being in the beginning. After I was totally addicted the bloom was off the rose. I started to isolate whenever I had some free time. You can help so many people on this board and I am thankful you found us. My wife has given me the ultimatim to quit or suffer the consequences of losing my family. Did you go into treatment? I am well know in my town and reluctant to go to AA/NA. My doctor is a personal friend and my wife is in the medical field. I am seeing a therapist, but I realize more reinforcement is needed on my part. I have thought of sub, but my doc is the sub doctor in this area. How does it feel after 9 yrs? How long before you felt "normal"? I have a million questions :) I know all about the samples and I am no longer allowed in a certain dr's office because of them. I can't be trusted to be near pills at all. I am a professional business owner and no one other than my wife knows about my addiction. I have a very high tolerance to all pain meds and act quite "normal" when on pills. You would never know I was taking them.
Tim
Your story gives me so much hope. I have tried to quit numerous times and the mental part is when I cave in. I am on day 9 and yesterday started to get the obsessive cravings. I try to keep myself busy with work and read when possible. Opiates gave me a feeling of security and well being in the beginning. After I was totally addicted the bloom was off the rose. I started to isolate whenever I had some free time. You can help so many people on this board and I am thankful you found us. My wife has given me the ultimatim to quit or suffer the consequences of losing my family. Did you go into treatment? I am well know in my town and reluctant to go to AA/NA. My doctor is a personal friend and my wife is in the medical field. I am seeing a therapist, but I realize more reinforcement is needed on my part. I have thought of sub, but my doc is the sub doctor in this area. How does it feel after 9 yrs? How long before you felt "normal"? I have a million questions :) I know all about the samples and I am no longer allowed in a certain dr's office because of them. I can't be trusted to be near pills at all. I am a professional business owner and no one other than my wife knows about my addiction. I have a very high tolerance to all pain meds and act quite "normal" when on pills. You would never know I was taking them.
Tim
Hey,my name is Brad,and I am a recovering opiate addict,married,father of six boys,and lastly a physician.Opiates gave me "rocket fuel" energy,and I made more money than I ever made in my life while being addicted to samples that were freely given to me on a near daily basis.It took my wife finding out and confronting me that finally freed me from the big secret I only knew.That was nine years ago. If I can help,just let me know.
Brad (doc49er)
Brad (doc49er)
I am new to this forum.
It has been a blessing and inspiration for me.
This is day 15 clean for me. I was doing vikes 7.5/750 3-4 for the past year and on/off, less, like you for the past ten years.
It is tough and sucks the w/d symptons, but it does get better and easier. I'm 57 years young and went cold turkey with only the support of reading these posts. My kids are grown and on their own. I was too ashamed to tell my wife.
The people on this forum can help in many ways-support, advice to counteract symptoms, etc. Use their help. For me I have gone through most of the physical aspect- now its the emotiuonal and seemingly lack of energy. Sometimes I cry- ironic that I spent 13 months in Vietnam and never did through all that ****. But it is getting better and will so in the future.
For you also.
My Best
Ken
It has been a blessing and inspiration for me.
This is day 15 clean for me. I was doing vikes 7.5/750 3-4 for the past year and on/off, less, like you for the past ten years.
It is tough and sucks the w/d symptons, but it does get better and easier. I'm 57 years young and went cold turkey with only the support of reading these posts. My kids are grown and on their own. I was too ashamed to tell my wife.
The people on this forum can help in many ways-support, advice to counteract symptoms, etc. Use their help. For me I have gone through most of the physical aspect- now its the emotiuonal and seemingly lack of energy. Sometimes I cry- ironic that I spent 13 months in Vietnam and never did through all that ****. But it is getting better and will so in the future.
For you also.
My Best
Ken
The benzo's (Xanax,valium) should take some of the edge off. Don't beat yourself up and call yourself a "druggie." You are addicted to pain medication and are an addict. I just wish you had some support and sorry that your husband is so judgemental. Is there anyone you feel safe talking to? This board is great, but you also need someone in real time to help you through this. Please hang in there and know I am rooting for you. It is not a walk in the park, but you will see the park when you have been clean for a few months. You can only do this for you and no one else. We were not born with a bottle of narcs in our hand. Think back to a time when you were not using. Hold on to that and remember how good it felt to be alive.
Thank you...I have been taking vicodin 1-3 750mg for about 4-5 years on and off. Xanax, valium, percs,on and off too. What a druggie...Hard to see that in writing. My husband doesn't have a clue. He knows me and my family are always either talking about drugs or trading drugs, but he has not clue as to what is really going on. He is really judgemental and I am afraid to tell him because he won't give me a break.
Can you hold on for another hour? You are just going into the w/d's and it is brutal. What tools do you have? Do you have the Thomas Recipe? Does your husband know? This is very hard to go alone and you need the support of someone close to you. This will last from 5-7 days and I find it peaks with me on day 4. Please let me know if you need anything and I will be happy to help. We will support you and be here for you. How many were you taking per day? How long? What was your drug of choice? If you give up, more than likely you will have to do this all over again. I am rooting for you.
God Bless,
Tim
God Bless,
Tim
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