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how to handle family?
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how to handle family?

Ok, my situation is that I have been addicted to Tramadol for 5 years.  I have issues with severe depression and obsessive compulsive thoughts.  I've been actively tapering the Tramadol and am down to 1/8 of one 50 mg pill once a day.  I'm also taking an antidepressant called mirtazipine (brand name Remeron) which makes me very lethargic (but helps sleep)  so I take it no later than 7:30 at night so I can halfway function the next day.  The AD is not an option in my case....I'd gotten so bad depression wise...but I won't go into that.  The tram does have SNRI AD properties., but was clearly not enough for me.  I know taking Tram w an AD is bad news, so a that has been a huge motivator in dropping Tram dose.
So here's the issue :  my mom wants me to bring my son to where she lives 3 hrs away this weekend for a family function.   1. I feel like ****. 2. My moods are so all over the place...3. My mom and I aren't close...she was abusive to me.  I've forgiven her and she's an awesome grandparent but its still stresses me out to be around her for any length of time bc she is HIGHLY critical of me.  Its always something ...my hair, my acne, my shyness, etc etc
  She points things out...all my flaws.
Som I'm concerned that driving down will throw off my AD schedule,  and I surely shouldn't drive on it.  I'm concerned being around her, I wont be able to necessarily control my mood, and my being calm and collected in the past yrs is what's carried our relationship.   I'm concerned being around her will make me feel I wish I could pop a pill...and undo the weeks of mental coaching I used to achieve my taper.
is it selfish to stay home (and keep my son from a family event) at this time?

9 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
Well I decided to drive down.   The hardest times for me right now self-control wise are when I'm alone.  Better to be w my mom being agitated to death (not a pleasant form of distraction but a distraction nonetheless)  than sitting on my couch stewing over how bad I feel and focusing on each symptoms.
my years on tramadol I grew to be withdrawn with ppl and it c
became easier an easier to tell myself it was ok to blow ppl off.  This is step in the right direction, the direction away from tramadol.  
I hopr everyone has a blessed day.  God is looking out for us!
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Avatar_f_tn
hi.. try to get control over this situation and stop taking those pills... if you are not able to stop by yourself my kind advice is to go and check out for rehab centers where they can get you out of it.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hey...at the time of the first post I was taking 1/8 of a 50 mg pill once a day.   Id tapered down to the tiniest amt possible and have been off completely since 3 days ago.  I have a ticker on my profile u can view if u like.
My question was not about my addiction.  I'm very steadfast on putting the abuse in the past.  Thw question was about whether or not I should put myself in a stressful situation while trying to come off of the pills.  Makes me think u didn't read the original post past the first sentence.  :/  
Oh well,  have a great weekend and a wonderful mother's day!
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm not sure if u are familiar w tramadol, but the pills come in 50 mg which are prescribed to be taken every 4-6 hrs.   I was taking 4-6 whole pills a day and at the end of my taper I got all the way down to 1/8 of just one pill in a 24 hr period...that's literally a tiny crumb.  
So I have been actively dropping it down to get off of it which is the recommended method of getting off by doctors bc just quitting it suddenly is risky to your health.  
I haven't taken any in 3 days, and won't be taking any more for the rest of my life.
I appreciate your concern though
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3197167_tn?1348972206
Are you back home yet?  I see that you decided to drive down and "face the music" (so to speak)..lol  That's how it has been for me with my Mom up until VERY recently and I'm almost 11 mos clean.

I tried being in her presence at 60 days.....that didn't go well......anxiety elephant sat on my chest the WHOLE time......had to even go for a drive AWAY from the situation.  Tried again at 90 days.....a bit better....but still a trigger for me.
I decided it was the healthiest, wisest thing to do to wait until I healed some more......my sobriety HAS to be FIRST!!!  No one and no situation is worth triggering me into relapse.......I didn't have a source for pills anyway.....but
have learned that being "selfish" in our recovery is SO MUCH different that being "self-centered".  If I don't take care of me and do what I need to do to grow, cope, deal, etc.....I'm no good to anyone else either.

Hope you'll let us know how you did after deciding to drive down there?
I'm sorry I just saw this post tonight....and it's Monday the 13th of May.

Building our foundation is critical........needs to be rock solid before we start adding walls, rooms, stairs and windows, etc. lol  (hope you got that analogy.....I truly DO like word pictures).

Congrats on your wean down and clean time!!!  You're rockin it now~
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Avatar_f_tn
Yep, back home and back at work!  I actually had a talk with my Mom about things and gently requested that we keep all comments positive,  no negativity.  I actually said, "even if my hair is sticking straight up, don't tell me about it." Lol.  I also told her that my moods were all over the place and i'd potentially be mean.  She was surprisingly understanding.    It ended up being a good weekend bc the event/party was really busy and distracting.  
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1416133_tn?1351126817
That's great to hear, lady.  And I think it was the best decision to go and spend this time with the family.

I also wanted to mention, I know exactly what you mean about how we stay away from people when using this drug.  I did the same thing, and one of the best gifts I got after quitting was my reconnection with family and friends.  Nothing beats a strong support system.  Definitely not some stupid pill!

Hang in there, and feel free to PM me if you have ?'s while you continue your taper off this med.  And if it's okay, I'd like to offer my two cents and say I think you're in a good place to just jump off right now.  It's time, girl!  You CAN do this.  :)
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Avatar_f_tn
I jumped from 1/8 of a pill 6 days ago.  Staying busy over the weekend helped me keep my mind off of my body freaking out on me.  My heart rate has been thru the roof,  but hanging in there :)
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Avatar_f_tn
And ur 100% right.   No pill beats surrounding urself w ppl who love and care about u.
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