maybe you addicts should think about the fact that maybe the straight peg might need your help

do you addicts realise that addiction is a choice? maybe theres people out there that might actually need you or can you not see by your noses to notice

[hopeless]

This forum is for addiction. The people that need advice or help with anything other than that, well then they should go looking for a place for them. We are addicts here, and this is what we do here...Nothing else!

To alot of people addiction was NOT a choice. To alot of people, they came addicted from an injury or surgery. Got on the pain meds, and found it hard to stop!!

What is your problem anyway? Don't come here and start trouble - we don't need people like you!

We help anyone and everyone that come here and ask! Like i said though, this is an addiction site, so the ones who need help that are not addicts, they need to find the help that they are looking for.

God, i hate people like you! That's sad, cause i normally don't hate anyone!

So Whatever, just go away and find someone else to bug! We don't have the time for trouble makers here. Maybe you are one of those people who like to start trouble, and get the whole forum in an uproar, right? Well, news flash, we won't let that happen, so forget it!

[lilacs4me]

W T  F????   I think perhaps u are in the wrong forum. This is a friendly community where we give support and get support.

[lilacs4me]

Maybe chillipeppa is right.  I think tommorrow when I wake up I am going to finally make that CHOICE and not be an addict. Thank you for showing me that I have a choice.

[anotherfinemess]

I read your other post and realize that you feel betrayed and disappointed by family members who have had substance abuse issues.  You seem to be angry at them when they were using, and angry at them when they weren't. Maybe at this point the trouble lies within you, not with them.  Directing your anger to people on this forum is not going to be very productive.  If you have questions and can articulate them in a tactful and diplomatic manner, we are more than willing to give you honest ( maybe even helpful) answers.  Wanna start again?

[stop_it]

YA, MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL SOBER UP SO WE CAN BE A HAPPY PERSON LIKE U.

[lurker]

best thing to do here folks is to ignore this poster = he/she posted on both forums - just let it go, this person is just trying to cause trouble

[oxypen]

I think if it was just a CHOICE, this forum would be empty.  I doubt there's a single person on here that thoguht they would like to grow up and be an addict.  None of want to be here, but we ARE here to get help to get out of our addiction problems.

[hillary5]

boy, you really seem to have some issues ... let me ask you this, is stupidity a CHOICE? must be because if you weren't, you wouldn't be here, now would ya? or make comments like you did ... if you have a problem w/someone in your so called family, then take it out on them ..... not the ppl on here who you don't know or have any clue as to why they are here ... some are not addicts and are here to get advice for loved ones that they are trying to help or save ... so good luck in whatever it is your trying to succeed here ... peace out!!!  :o)

[Jade59]

Oh chill, I'm so thankful you took the time to show us addicts the way.  A "CHOICE".  Gosh, I never thought of that!!!!!

[1234betterlife]

do you realize you have a choice to go back to school and learn how to spell and articulate?

[wait2long]

**** man, i wish someone would have told me this was a choice a long time ago...boy do i feel better now knowing that it was only a bad choice that i made 18+ years ago..
you would think that with all of the doctors,addiction specialists, therapists, counselors, rehab facilities, MD doctors, psychologist and psychiatrists  that i have seen...that someone would have mentioned that to me, someone would have thought of that!!??... wow, did you find your calling in life or what?  what a gift.... why dont you go spread the news...go quick, maybe you can save someone from that bad choice!!!


IDIOT...

[LIZZIE LOU]

i know the frustration, loneliness, and anger that you must be feeling.   watching our loved ones self destruct is so hard to do.   i am sooo sorry that your life has not been what you deserved as a child growing up.

i have three sons who are addicts and i too used to think that it was a choice.   i take that back...i don't think anyone choices to become an addict...but they do make that choice to do the drug in the first place...even when knowing that it is addictive.   so i know what you are trying to say.   you sound kind of like me...surrounded by addiction...a victim of addiction...and not by choice.

you have been dealt a bad hand sweetie...but there is nothing that you can do about your past.   but what you can do is control your future.   you cannot change how your family is and what they have put you through...only they can do that.   i know you must feel that if they cared about you that they would just stop.    oh...if it were just that easy.

have you ever seen a counselor or attended an alateen or alanon meeting?   you have a choice sweetie...don't continue to be a victim of addiction.   use what you have been through to make you stronger.   you can continue to fuel the fire of your anger...or you can choice to grow from this.   don't wait...addiction can destroy you too.

heart hugs,
kim  

[freebird4good]

YOU don't make any sense.  Why are you on this forum ?

[freebird4good]

Ha ha ha....I agree with you 100%

[LIZZIE LOU]

this is his first post on the addiction forum...if you didn't read it...please do so.    some of your replies are unfreakingbelievable.   addiction is NOT all about you.   we are the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters who are the victims...the innocent victims of your addiction.   i have seen many an addict come here with the same attitude and tone...and be welcomed and coddled by many.   it doesn't matter if you are the addict of if you are the victim of addiction...you still live it.

i have been robbed of any kind of normal functional family life my whole life. the robbers at large are my father, (half his life drinking the other half sober and trying his best to repair damage and gain some acceptance from the crazy enraged children he brought into this world.(He died seven yrs ago and i miss him dearly he was my only rock eventually in this crazy family.also my three brothers who also added drugs to the cocktail and my only sister all turned to one kind of addiction .my own experience has been trying to get on with my life while christmas and holidays and family gatherings is a total nightmare and hell. Its fine for people to say stay clear and get on with your own life that is what i do most of the time but what a lonely existence that is without family my brother has been free of drugs for some years but constantly talks about himself how he is doing battling the drug misuse and  i am really pleased for him but do addicts ever give over and if so when?there never seems to be any rest from talking about the affects of alcohol on the lives of them that lived in the addiction and the ones that lived with it. anyway whatever. im sick to death talking about these people who are happy to get out there nuts until it suits them for their own selfish reasons to stop and think about themselves of course  
  

[avisg]

Oh my ,,,, I think we need to realize this person is hurting she has spent her life in dysfunction..
I did not chose to have an addiction problem , however I chose everyday NOT to take a pill .I have to take responsibility for my part in feeding my own addiction..... .... .
avis

[1eagle]

This is my first post on this board. I have been a silent partner for quite awhile. My own issues go all the way back to Vietnam and I have been sporadically addressing them since then.

Chillipeppa, I'm wondering if you are left or right handed. And when you made the decision to be one or the other. These folks are trying to take care of their own problems with the help of group support. You need someone to just communicate with when you are trying to stop a "choice" that you made that is most likely killing you gradually (or rapidly).

Give these people a break and try and get on Dr. Phils show or whatever will addres your particular needs.

[Marce4]

I agree with Lizzie Lou, while this may not be a choice....we certainly leave SOOOOOO many loved ones in it's wake!  The pills ALWAYS came before my family so how can any of us resent or be angry at chillipeppa. This person has a right to get answers and not be brow beaten or demeaned! Why don't we direct him/her to Alanon/Naranon instead.  

Chillipeppa, I understand your anger and frustration, you certainly didn't ask for an addicted parent but try to open your eyes and see that we are hurting and probably feeling incredibly guilty as well.  You need to take care of yourself most importantly. Unfortunately, the addict has to make the decision to get help for him/herself.....you cannot do that for them!  You have very valid feelings of hurt and desertion so get some help for yourself! There are others in the same boat as you and it my help you to deal with this by seeking them out!
Peace!

[Marce4]

Thanks girl, we needed another perspective on this!

[grievingwidow]

Maybe Medhelp should set up a forum for family members of addicts?  I am sure they need support just as we, the addicts, do.  I mean, the majority of people here are the addicts themselves which puts us on the opposite side of the fence.  It is all some of us can do just to keep our own head above water sometimes, much less provide support for something we have never experienced.  For all I know, there is already a site for family members, guess I could have looked first!

Cindy

[pillboy]

If you're not an addict you don't......nay can't understand......it is hard to blame them....at least for not understanding......that is why places like this are so valuable to us addicts and users.....we all understand......you can't find this help anywhere else.........it is sad how this person has taken our attention away from the people who really need it.........oxypen and hydro....just to name two........I feel or them deeply....and many others who's stories I've recently read.........cudos to all who support and care..........addicts helping addicts...........people who UNDERSTAND


all take care

[avisg]

I like seeing there side to......Helps keep me in check ...To remember that I am responsible for my self.Its my choice whether I put a pill in my mouth or not ....When I see the effects it has on others, it helps me rememeber my addiction does really effect more then just myself.....

[road2recovery]

lizzie,marce, others ..i totaly agree...i think it would be great to have a seperate forum for the ones addicts hurt...Although i did not choose to be an addict, my husband also did not choose to marry one..i was not one then...But i know i have hurt so many for my actions..

i have 4 kids and i have no idea what i am looking at for my future with them...What i do know is i would sell my soul for my kids, and try my best to get them help..

I see both sides of this disease very clearly...In addive addiction i didn';t see it clear minded...But now i am so sad for snapping at my kids, being mean to my husband , not reading a book to my little ones , because the only thing on my brain was pills!!  That is so not fair to the ones who did not ask for this.

Again i think a seperate forum for them is a fantastic idea, and i know my husband would be there in a second.
r2r

[beachtowel]

do you addicts realise that addiction is a choice? maybe theres people out there that might actually need you or can you not see by your noses to notice

Sorry chillipeppa but your above statement is totally false.......
Addiction is not a choice..........

Addiction isn't even the fault of an addict but recovery is 100% their responsibility.......

What you should of said was that Recovery is a choice and then you would of had something.......

It sounds like you are a victim of the insanity of addiction by someone close to you....and it is very understandable why you would feel that way..........

Keep posting maybe you can learn about addiction and then be able to understand it.........

[Beaten]

I have only one thing to say its not as mature as everyone elses reply  but here it goes "**** YOU!" you have no idea what i go through everyday. this consumes every aspect of my life. Choice? belive me if i could choose something for myself it would not be this an addiction from hell. People like you should rot in hell for comments like that. if u dont have anything constructive to add to this forum then dont add anything at all.

[imanaddict]

I THINK (and could be wrong) that this person was making a statement toward somene in particular and venting, like someone in his family maybe? At least that's what I'm hoping. I don't think it was meant for us although it sounded like it. It is really hard to understand an addict until you have been in the same shoes, so maybe he is just trying to let some anger go, which is understandable, but do it AT THE PERSON that it is meant for! LOL!

[LIZZIE LOU]

as most of you know...i raised three addicts.   i never "understood" addiction until i came to this forum 8 months ago.   for you "old timers"...remember?   i came in with a bang too.  continuing to read and post, taught me more than any doctor or therapist had in the past.

i agree with beach...i hope that this poster will continue to read and post.   i think that all of you can help him/her see how hard it is to win the battle.  i would hope that you could help him see that it wasn't his fault...that he did nothing wrong.  a little compassion, for someone who is obviously hurting, goes a long way.  what happens when the addict here lashes out?  you open your hearts to them.   why can you not do the same for someone who doesn't understand?  

i am sooooo grateful to those who had the patience to "withstand" my thinking when i first came...marce, tink, beachtowel, fladdict, catuf, hellc, creek...there are so many that i could go on and on.   without you guys...i would still be angry too.   thank you from the bottom of my heart.

kim  

[road2recovery]

I totally agree......And in your own way you have helped me see the other side of this disease!!
r2r

[victoria1667]

Why is chili pepper not responding back to us?  Come back chili, come back.  

No really chili,  hopefully u are reading these comments we really are here to help and people here can guide u to the right place

[Marce4]

I think there should be a separate forum if people choose to use this....it would be like Alanon...However....I also think that another perspective is invaluable to all of us.  Lizzielou absolutely came in with a bang and initially was not well received by many.  We were all adult enough to talk/type things through and got a better understanding what our addiction was doing to our families...on the flip side, I think Lizzielou was able to better empathize with the nature of addiction!  It is a win/win sitation and if anyone becomes inappropriate, they would be banned.  I see nothing inappropriate going on here. It just sounds like healthy debate to me!  I appreciate so much being reminded that it's not all about me and my struggle but also about what I have done to my family and friends!  They hurt as much as we do!

Hey Chillipeppa...you got this thread started...we would love to hear your comments!
Peace!

[victoria1667]

I'm with Marce, good explanation girl!  I know I am sooo lucky to have a supportive husband, even after all the BS i put him through!

[road2recovery]

LOL even though she/he dissapeared, i think also this is a very good point...i remember lizzie and Tink getting into it SO bad...Then they came to love each other and understand each other's points!!
r2r
God bless the ones i hurt, and gave me a second chance.
I do agree, addiction was not my choice, but my recovery is...

[chillipeppa]

wow thanks for your response. thats all i intended to do here. have some sort of response and it certainly worked. sorry for the spelling mistooks (hee hee) that someone so rightly pointed out. now you can see the other side???? let me put you right right there is no other side we are all in this together so wake up. choice?? you have a choice YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE!
LOVE PEACE AND FELLOWSHIP TO YOU ALL.. it was lovely to read  the messages from the sweethearts in here who are struggling and gaining strength in their recovery and to the rest well believe it or not ive heard all those insults before the personal attacks reflect on you. i was not personally attacking any of you, i was attacking addiction something which you might think about doing,attack it strangle it and put it out your life forever, god speed you to him and lets not forget there but by the grace of the almighty god go I.

[chillipeppa]

guess whos back?? by the way that was only two lines of words that created all this, you really are a sensitive lot eh! hee hee! YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE!  SURE YOU DO? YES
Anyway im glad i was of service and added some food for thought

[mr.lucky66]

It 's a choice and sometimes not a choice. It's a candy mint it's a breath mint. I think it's a choice if you have been addicted for some time then go back to it after being sober a while.

[avisg]

R2R ,put it quite well
"addiction was not my choice ,but my recovery is....."
I choose everyday to not put a pill in my mouth
If I dont take responabilty for my addiction I will never heal ..

avis

[chillipeppa]

i apologise to you all i have been too blaze in my choice of words. recovery from addiction is a choice facing you all? grab it while you can. i wish you all the  happiest recovery. chillipeppa x

[natalile]

If your posting cause a addict close to you has hurt you then plz don't take it out on us all. if we really had a choice to be addicteds do you REALLY think we would ov also made the choice to hurt those we love NO! our choice  is to get clean & be here for each other. if you want to learn more about addiction the instead of posting read other's first then you might get some insight. but to post like that is just ignorrant now the CHOICE is your's wheather you stay & learn or be mad at every addict coz you've been hurt by 1

[chillipeppa]

you obviously have not read all my posts

[ghostboy]

by the grace of god?! that's your problem right there, chillipoop. did God tell you to disrespect people and cause trouble? or did you choose to do so?! maybe you should dig deeper and take responsibility for being an A-hole. I am not anywhere near recovery, but at least I am a decent person who doesnt judge anyone. why dont you and your God go choke on your food for thought.

[chillipeppa]

blah blah, see it how you will ,i was not disrespecting anyone,like i said before i was attacking addiction not people, facts ghostboy of my life, is what i printed here,did your god tell you to disrespect me? or disrespect yourself? tough if you dont like what i said im glad it got a response from you, you certainly just judged me  so  dont say you dont judge you just did.you can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink, choose recovery ghostboy then you will be near it if you want it

[chillipeppa]

your right this is an addiction site, dealing with addiction, its not only addicts who deal with addiction but just a thought theres a lot of recovery here and maybe another forum could be "addiction recovery forum" not to be judgemental but i have observed theres a lot of you who have a lot of strength to offer to others, how you managed to overcome and survive and lead yourself into recovery.
a recovery forum could be were you celebrate and share your strengths.
you lot will probably attack me for that but i dont care go for it its just a suggestion im making.

[Calzy]

Thanks again for your comments. It's good to stir the pot once in awhile. It's funny how alot of the talk here is to get clean for ourselfs and our family (some of whom who may be hard line) and we give all kinds of ways to help the addict them but when a family member has questions or a comment or just to vent, some ppl try to bury them. ???  We are all hurting here and i know you are to Chill, and i hope we can work together to find the answers to this disease.  

[loriegurl]

"do you addicts realise that addiction is a choice? maybe theres people out there that might actually need you or can you not see by your noses to notice "

sure sounded like an a** hole remark to me, but what do I know??? I have a choice. I did not choose to get addicted, it just happened. I have been anti-drug for 32 years, turning my back on loved ones because of their CHOICES. Now I sit here, in their shoes, and have found myself addicted. Hope you dont eat your words. Never thought I would.......

btw,,,we ARE TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE

[chillipeppa]

i have never turned my back on loved ones, if you read the post i said i might also need my loved ones help and their just never there,it gets a bit tiring after a while being surounded by addiction. addiction is a selfish quest and people can choose recovery????????  im not knocking my loved ones and i am not an a**hole either thanks for you your judgement, like i said there but by the grace of god go i. addicts are a selfish bunch that has been accepted by most of the posters here so maybe its a case of get over your selfishness .
I hope you can continue to help people.

[Savas]

I haven't been around for a bit so I don't know your story;

Are you an addict? Or a family member of an addict?

[DiEvano]

I "get" what you're saying Chilli.  I, too, have been affected by someone else's addiction.  My precious daughter made a CHOICE to use.  Turned out to be the worst choice of her life.  The folks here in this forum talked me through some real dark hours.  They helped ME help my daughter.  Sure, I was angry as hell.  But, the anger I felt did not out-weigh the love I hold for my baby.  The thing is, as the good people in the forum constantly reminded me, my daughter did not do any drugs to hurt me.  The hateful things that she said to me during her de-tox weren't really her talking, but the drugs.  It's been an effort, but I've been able to not take her addiction personally.  Because I know for certain that she wasn't sitting around one night and say "hey, I know!  I'll start using drugs and really hurt my family!"  It just doesn't work that way.

It's a long, hard road for the addicts - and utterly heartbreaking for those who love them and choose to stand by their side.  I could walk away, but I CHOOSE not to.  I CHOOSE to help my daughter.  I CHOOSE to forgive her for stealing from me.  I CHOOSE to pray for her all day, every day.  And it's absolutely my CHOICE to believe that she sincerely wants to recover from this illness.  At least once a day, I remind my daughter that I have a stake in her addiction as well.  It helps to make her aware that she's not in this alone, and that a relapse would greatly affect those of us who love her.

We're all in this together...  This great big world, full of users and givers and takers and good guys and criminals... and the list goes on.  And none of us is getting out of it alive :)

God Bless.  I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

[chillipeppa]

thank you, thank you, thank you, so lovely of you to say all that.
I know there is no way my family are trying to hurt me intentionally with there addiction, what i was saying was although they never set out to hurt me we can not negate the fact that in learning how to deal with the addiction along the way i did get hurt in amongst the manipulation the emotional blackmailing and everything else that addicts do when they know your not clued up. its not there fault i agree but i did have to learn a lot about it so that i could still love and be compassionate towards my family without it overwhelming my life well there was times it did overwhelm my life but its been worth it because i got to a level were i could still be in a family and also not to allow the addiction of my family swallow me up. i was overspilling on the forum, and im glad some people accepted me doing that. god knows ive accepted. and its i believe that there by the grace of god go I.

[Savas]

It doesn't take addiction for their to be lying and emotional blackmail and all that other wonderful stuff that comes with being in a family, but it certainly helps make it worse. If you can really feel that way about your family members, then you're one up on most of the world, so congrat's on that.

[chillipeppa]

eh?

[Savas]

In other words... all people lie to some degree. Addicts don't have the corner market on this bad behavior. they do certainly partake of their fair share, though.

And if you can be happy with, and love your family regardless of anything bad they do, drug addicts or otherwise, then you're doing a good job at being a good human. That's a compliment, by the way. :)

[loriegurl]

I never said YOU turned your back on your loved ones, but that I DID. I didnt say you were an A**hole, just sounded like an a**hole remark. At the same time I understand what u are saying. I used to get soooo tired of my loved one's "problems and addictions". I thought they had a choice and was soo very fed up with their ****. Didnt mean to come off as critical, I have been where you are. But now I am an addict myself.,after years of despising my loved ones(and other addict's) behaviors. And you are right., we do have a choice...it is just very very difficult to break that addiction once it gets a hold on you. But I did not choose to be an addict, but I have a choice not to be. I am really trying to NOT be an addict. I dont want to be an addict. I hate this ****, but I am in a rut and cant seem to crawl out of it. BUT I WILL. have a good day...

lorie

[chillipeppa]

cheers for your comments on my posting,i think im misunderstanding your replys.  im a bit literal sometime even though im a bit of a bad speller... hee hee..
we are discussing addiction, right?... i was brought up in an addiction family and yes there is liars and manipulators all over the world they dont nessesarily have to be addicts but like you say it helps and they do partake of there fair share.that is what i was saying in my post so i really dont understand what your point of view is in response to my post as i feel your reiterating the point i was making. ?? is that what you mean?? you agree with the post? or you dont?. it does nt really matter either way.its fine to agree or disagree. im just interested. thanks :-)

[chillipeppa]

okay lorie.
when i read your post i thought you were implying that i was looking down on addicts or thinking i was above it,  especially when you ended your post with i hope you dont find yourself in their shoes.like i have said here so many times. only by the grace of god there go I. its the affects of addiction on the person, their loved ones and anyone else they come into contact with that im trying to discus  and get help with here, not individual suffering addicts. i have seen the devastation that addiction does to individuals and its horrendous. that i can do nothing about, its only the addict who can choose recovery. but what i am trying to do is reduce the amount of mayhem that one addict never mind a multitude can do and maybe create an understanding of the addict . addicts have to deal with there own addiction this we all agree on. the rest of the people have to deal with the affects that an addict can cause and the affect they can have on other peoples life. i have had to live with some scary stuff i did not make the choice to live that kind of life but im affected by the risidual energys of it.wether i like it or not. and believe me i have done all i can to severely reduce and prevent the affects without being a closed  off individual. i sometimes think too much understanding towards the addict from the none addicts and no understanding of the none addicts from the addicts is a bit of a sunk ship.

[chillipeppa]

p.s.
Be under no illusion, im not talking about the legal pill popping prescribed medication that becomes an addiction. that itself is hard enough to deal with, i totally agree.
But what im dealing with in the realm of the addiction surounding me,is the hardcore illegal street drug addiction that is not prescribed and the funds have to be found by the addict regardless of what is at stake..
the addiction of both prescribed or street,for the addict "is, i suppose the same when it comes to recovery, but the affects of the latter( street drug s is  ......... listen all it does nt matter, im too tired of all the sh++t

[chillipeppa]

and savas im not one up on anybody never mind most of the world and would nt want to be, what a lonely perch your trying to put me on,so stop trying to glorify me and send me the miss perfect card im sick of that ****, im an ordinary human being with feelings, who makes mistakes.
its ONE DAY AT A TIME for me too savas, got it?

[Savas]

Well boyo, you seemed to have covered both possibilities, on the off chance I was being nice or a b*stard.

I think I like that, shows initiative. :)

No hidden agenda mate, it was meant as a straight out compliment. You may ask yourself what changed between one response and the other. Every reaction we have to everything in the world is a key to open a lock to a box inside ourselves, where we keep the good and the bad that makes us all up.

[chillipeppa]

cheers for your reply but is it my posts your replying to??? because i really dont see the conection in your replys and what i say in my posts.. i dont understand what you mean by covering both possibilities??? what are you going on about are you sure your replying to my posts???. my first reply to you was i did not know where you were coming from and my second was i did not find your compliment a compliment but an attempt to rise me above the rest of the world as you put it and like i said thats a lonely perch to try and put any one on.
As for the paragraph on the hidden agenda. well ,eh! that really has blown it? youve lost me in your replys savas ive re read your post cant see the connection to my posts in your replies. if you have the time. maybe re read mine. theres a mix up somewhere i think, cheers anyway

[chillipeppa]

ps. change in response is great, respect,  if any one , word or thing makes a shift in our feelings and thoughts on an issue in any way .thats superb.