need advice please

[pleasehelp07]

my husband smoke weed, if he doesnt have it or cant get it, he is hatfull to me and kids no matter what i do its not good enough, but after he goes out and get some and smokes it he is fine. now me i dont do drugs nor allow it around or in my house. i don tunderstand the mood changes and stuff, now maybe because i dont smoke it thats why i dont understand. i need help figuring out this, that is all the drugs he does to my knowleadge but im worried about our marriage.

[wantingmyfirst]

weed will do that to you. if you dont have it it will upset you stress you out and make you crazy. trust me when i quit i was like holy crap i NEED it. the best thing he could do is quit

he will start doing alot of stuff he normally wouldnt do. they say pot is a gateway drug. alot of pot heads dont want to admit it but it is. i used to say it wasnt true. i started smoking just a little then i was smoking everyday. wake and back and then go to school .smoke during klunch and then again when i got home and before i went to sleep i was having a blast. the n i started doing bars and one night took too many and passed out and woke up alone with all my friends gone. they cvame back later with a bunch of stolen computers from walmart. you never know what you will do on those. and then my bf who i was living with started doing coke. and i didnt think it was so harmless just to try. but it was i wanted to keep doing it.

like i said the best thing he can do is quit ive been off coke and bars for about a year and a half and off weed for about 3 months. and the cigarretts ive been off for just a month or two but i wont lie ive picked up a couple. lol. but its great to quit.

[harley79]

I just put my problem up on a different post. My husband smokes weed and his mental problems are way better, but poof weeds gone, all hell must break loose and what does he say? "It's all your fault I'm smoking anyways." Sorry I don't know how this will help you but I want to let you know your not alone.

[pleasehelp07]

thanks alot but that will never happen, he is sooooooo addicted to it and wont stop, i hear all the time there is nothing wrong with it they should leglize so fine when they do then you can worry about hat till then just stop it lol

[harleyphleb]

My best friend gets like that. She smokes alot and has been doing it for many years. Whenever she has none available for her to have she gets very upset and moody with her husband and everyone else around her. I would say people act differently when they have an addiction. Yes you can be addicted to smoking. Alot of people feel relaxed when they smoke and it relieves alot of tension and things on their minds when they smoke. I know it is wrong for people to try to hide what the real problem is and they need to face it. Some people hide behind the weed. I am not talking about EVERYONE, but just the ones in general that i have been around for many years. If he lost his job, has worries of how he is going to get from here to there etc. It could be making him worry less and a happier person when he is relaxed. I am not saying it is okay to smoke, and he really should try to stop now before the kids grow up seeing it or smelling it on him or looking into his eyes after and knowing what he just did. He may want to try to cut back or quit if at all possible. It is an addiction. Some people can just smoke it every now and then with no real addiction.

Some people i know can smoke and are so full of energy that they want to do EVERYTHING as far as projects, cleaning etc. And then there is some that just get lazy and wanna sit back and veg out after. I am writing this from experience also, and use to smoke a heck of alot when i was  younger. Now i can take it or leave it. I could care less if there was such a thing now to buy. Maybe he should try to stop for a week or so and see how he feels. He must understand the addiction he has when he does not have any. Best of luck.

[lonote]

Well i'm off to work. we can talk later. have a nice day sweetie.

[pleasehelp07]

lol, i was told hey girl, find you a younger one and train him how you want, well guess what i did like 10 years younger and it dont work. scarsism is the worst part of it all if he cant get weed or dont have any he don tusually get hateful with me around the kids. maybe because im not an addict i dont understand the withdrawls from it, i dont know. but i never thought weed was that bad, he DOESNT do it around my kids on in the house at ALL......i have 2 boys and 2 girls. ages 15-3 oldest and youngest boys. yes i am married to him but ....................... who knows, like i said before when he is stoned he is the best person in the world to be around but when he aint or cant get that away omg, like it a mind game.

[lonote]

Its mind altering. I guess there are some out there that just can't handle it. He sounds like one of them. ICouldent understand why my ex used to like his gin then use me for a punching bag. I always associated alchol and violence. Till I found out thats not the norm. There are regular ppl that can drink and just be normal. You say he gets hateful andstuff. Well thats not the norm either. Thats another form of abuse. And no kind of abuse is exce[table. Now the silly in me wants to say "Damm
girlfriend the older we get  the better we're supposed to get at picking out guys" (smile) But I se you are married to him. Your in deep. Maybe some counceling. Would he be down for that? Or does he think this is your prob?

[lonote]

I almost forgot, The kids. They should come first. Have you got daughters sor sons.either way you woulden't want a dughter dating a boy who treats girls like your hubby is treating you. Son on the other hand, They need a funcitional upbringing too, learninghow to treat girls getting the chair , doors, and to only put thieir hand on us to hug us or love us.Having respect for women. Watching hubby on weed will never show them anything good.

[pleasehelp07]

yes he lives with me, he is my husband, let me get things clear he does not hit on me and the kids he is just very moody when he doesnt have weed. , we have been married for 2 years and been together for 3. i dodnt k now that weed can make you have mood swings if ya dont have it. i always thought it was a mental addiction, and that weed wasnt a drug just a herb but who knows im not none of the above

[lonote]

Hi!  So hon, Does he live with you? For how long you been with him?

[grievingwidow]

Was the crackhead you were married to also the father of your children?  I just hate for the children to have been exposed to that and now having to deal with a stepdad also having drug issues, or mental health issues, whichever it is.  If things do not improve soon and your husband shows no signs of wanting to change or getting help, please do whatever is best for you and the kids.  I cannot imagine being treated like that.  

[pleasehelp07]

see again i dont know, i talk to him a minute ago and everything was fine, with him , i tell him on several differnt occasion that i think he is bi polar and he sayd maybe so, but he only act stupid when he isnt high.

[tzt2lady]

Welcome, and I am sorry to hear about the treatment you are getting from your husband.  It sounds like major mood swings and that also like he is either doing more than weed or he has some mental health issues like bipolar or manic depressive disorder.  Im not a dr but it just sounds like those symptoms (i teach teens with similar difficulties and emotional disturbances).  
Whatever it is, you do not deserve to be treated this way.   He might think he as no problems because it is you he is hurting (in his eyes).    If hurting you causes him no problem then there isn't much anyone can do.  If he cares and wants to take action to change, thats a different story.  But if he refuses to even admit theres a problem, what can you do???
Dont let anyone mistreat you.  Demand change or go your own way.
tzt

[pleasehelp07]

yes i have talk to him about it, like today on my lunch break i took him some food ome for lunch from captain d's and he was like take that **** out of here i dont want that ****, i was like damn i was nice enough to bring ya something home for lunch andya act like this and he wont talk to me, then later on he owuld be fine. when i do talk to him about it he says nothing or he donthave no problems,i dont know im lost really

[pleasehelp07]

well he just lost his job, but when he is not smoking he is an a** but when he is he is fine, to myknowleadge he isnt doing anything else, where would he get the money, and all my stuff is still intact, i lived with a crack head for 11 years so i think i would reconize some of them sympotoms, i do ntknow though

[shelby74]

Addiction can be mind boggling.  We do things that make no sense.  I am sorry your husband is treating you and your kids badly.  I know it must be hard.  Sounds like he needs to acknowledge his addiction and get some help.  He has to want to do it though.  Maybe an intervention?

all my best,

shel

[shelby74]

Do you talk to him about it?  Is that a option?  Does he know how you feel in regards to the addiction?

[TimH2]

I never heard of weed doing that to you. Are you sure he isn't on some type of drug other than that? I would have a talk with him. Maybe he is have some type of mental crisis?? Best of luck!!!

Tim